Advice Please

A female (aged early 40's) I knew in the 1990's , I have just met again & she has gone thru the hell in the past 2 years thru a NZ disaster that caused her to loose her home & belongings. I knew from a previous job I had -(she was not a work mate) & after meeting her again very recently, I want to give her my mobile number to see if she wants to meet up privately with me sometime so I can ever become her friend or just to show her how much I care for her as a victim of what she's gone thru.
I like her in different types of ways & she spoke about her personal health & tradegy briefly last week & I just want to show her I care about her in a positive way. I feel so sorry for her thru the hell she has been put thru & want to show that someone she knew several years ago, has been thru health problems as well. I now I want to offer her some time with me for talking alone & hopefully she will like my offer. I do have feelings for people who go thru what she has had to deal with. She is nice looking, but that is not the main reason I want to met up with her privately sometime.
I hope she may accept my offer or may just thank me for it but not want me as a friend or just someone else for her to chat to that knew her previously?

 

I don't understand what advice you are asking for.

 

I want to befriend her & hope she takes it in a good way. I like her as a woman & I would give her a big hug to show I care about her as she's gone thru a very bad experience over the past 2 years & I want to get to know her better if she feels the same way about me as either a new friendi n her life or just as a very thoughtful & caring person I can be. Do you think I would be doing her a great favour by offering my friendship either short term or longer & hope she feels I'm maybe making her feel better than she has been? I want to show her I care about her.
I do like her- she's been willing & very open about telling me about her personal life - from what she's told me recently. She's the type I would show my personal feelings to as well. If a hug lead to a bit more - well thats another story ?

 

I thought you were married? Or do you have an open relationship? It is obvious you want more than friendship with this woman. She is in a vulnerable position due to her recent problems, so I would advise resisting any sexual temptation.

 

Yes, I'm married but showing another woman I care about her in a good way isn't bad.
If she wanted some type of friendship with me as just a friend & not sexual then thats fine with me. I have been thru personal health problems in the past & having friends or new ones's is a benefit to. Hugs can be just to show one cares not other ways either.
I don't even know if she is married still or not but I suppose I may find out when I talk to her at my workplace hopefully again soon. She may like to get a hug from me or may not. Just have to wait & see if it's appreciated. Would give her one if I felt she looked like she needed one thou or touch her in a meaningful way - just by listening & taliking to her.

 

my advice would be for her to stay away


far away

 

......:2thumbsup:



Cheers Glen.

 

Reminded me of Will Ferrells character in Wedding Crashers

Ma Meatloaf Fuck!


But seriously NZ just go out and ask em if they want a shag, this sneaky stuff makes it creepier than it needs to be

 

It all sounds creepy - you are wanting much more than a hug but trying to justify it and it just sounds creepy.

I agree with Brad - she is vulnerable so the last thing she needs is creepy.

 

This this and this

 

Be friendly and open at work, and let her talk. Friendship is a process.

 

My thoughts are that if I offered to give her just a hug next time I see her & thats all, thats ok & I will have shown that someone ielse is thinking of her & the trauma she had to deal with just over 2 years ago.
When I spoke to her last week (at my work place) for the first time since seeing her just over 10 years ago, I put my hand on her shoulder & she thanked me for spending a bit of my work time chatting to her about her past personal difficulties caused by a major disaster. We do have a few things in common as well. I just want to let her know I'm available to talk with her in a more private place if she wants to - she may appreciate my offer or may not.
So the advice I want is: do you think it's acceptable for a married guy to spend time with another woman just for sharing her problems with me because she seems to like telling me a few personal things she has shared with me recently. Even if she is not attractive, I still want to offer my spare time with her if she wants it - I don't see any problems with that at all.
I'm not wanting to see her just because I like her - she may just appreciate some time with me talking.

 

It's ok for a married man to spend time listening to another woman if it ok with his wife. She's the one you should be asking not us.

Being a friend is one thing but being a friend to try to sleep with her is another.

 

Maybe you could invite her over for dinner and drinks. She could meet your wife, maybe become friends with her too?

 

Do you work on a pr0n set?

You always have these steamy stories of hot females at work and it jus isn't adding up to me unless you work on a pr0n set!

 

She's a customer at my work place - but this is the first time we have met again just last week since over 10 years ago. This may be the only time I see her as she may come to my workplace when I'm not there. So if she comes to it when I'm there, I can talk to her again for a short time & maybe offer her my phone number if she wants to call / txt me sometime to met up out of my working hours. No harm in that. Sharing problems can help sometimes. She has been gone thru stress just like I have before as well.We did learn from each other we had other things in common as well - use to work in the same workplace years ago, but not at the same time.
So a bit of reminising about it may be a good thing to talk about again soon?

 

I think it's the way you articulate yourself. It all sounds a little sleazy.
Instead of: I put my hand on her shoulder.
It sounds like: My hand slithered up her arm.
How about you say this to your wife: I have recently seen somebody I knew a long time ago, I'd like to be a friend because I feel that she needs some emotional support. Maybe we can have her over for dinner one night.

 

they're all asians. i assume he's a manicurist.

 

What do you mean by a prOn set?

I have a lot of people coming into my workplace - its a supermarket.
Some woman just get my attention there more than others.
I like the work I do & if I see attractive woman there, it makes it even more enjoyable.