Hello all, been stalking some of the posts on here a while and figured I'd finally sign up and post one myself! And I will apologize up front for how long this is. I'm a 21 year old female. I suppose I am questioning my orientation. I don't need to put a label on anything yet, but I do need some advice. I was in a pretty serious relationship with a guy. It had always seemed fine, but I "wore the pants" so to speak. The emotional aspect was sub-par at times and wonderful at others, but always kinda fluctuating. The sexual/physical part COULD be good, but it was hardly ever more than "just sex" for me. Towards the end, all we did was argue and our relationship became very destructive. There was a lot more stress in both of our lives, so I figured things might blow over. Well, it didn't, so I finally called it quits. Moving on to the forum-relevant part I made friends with this girl (ahhh, there's always that one, isn't there....) and I just thought she was the coolest person ever. It was so easy to just be myself with her and laugh and smile and talk. I guess it is relevant to mention that, while probably not the most attractive girl ever from an objective stance, I find her to be gorgeous. So here is this beautiful girl, amazing personality, great sense of humor, intelligent, easy to get along with.... we hang out a good bit, have a great time, but then I hear a guy keeps hitting on her and it all changes. We don't talk too much about that aspect of life, mostly because we are both single and the issue just never came up. Well, my protective instinct kicks in and I want to tell the guy to F%#$ off. Anyways, we had a few outings, had a great time and some great conversation. I THOUGHT we had some meaningful glances and experiences, but nothing ever really became of it so I've forced myself to just dismiss it all. After spending more time with her, I realize how attractive I find her. I have never felt like this before about a girl, and honestly it was a bit terrifying. Well, we have become great friends and while I still find her incredibly attractive, I value our friendship too much to jeopardize it so I just leave these things unsaid. If something happens, it happens, but I'm tired of trying to decide if I'm making it all up or what... Point is, I realize I'm not just looking at HER. I find myself looking at other girls differently. I tend to look at a guy maybe once, but I've become fascinated by a girl's look, the way she carries herself, etc etc etc... Sure, a guy may be hot, I can appreciate that, but I don't find that attraction there like it used to be. I find that I become emotionally and physically attracted to *select* females (not all, but a good fraction), but can't really imagine the sexual aspect of it (but it's not like I can imagine just screwing a guy, either...). Like I said, not searching for a label, and I apologize at the length of this; however, I just need some advice. I don't know what to do, how to pursue any answers, and I've been on my own about 10 months and I'm getting a little lonely and a little frustrated with not knowing what to do with these feelings. I'm not ready to "out" myself as anything yet, but I don't wanna keep it all bottled up anymore. Any help is appreciated!! Any questions I need to answer for you, I will. Thanks!
Well , first thing that enters my mind is if you and this girl are good friend now , maybe you could kinda mention this to her that you are finding girls attractive , and see how she reacts. you dont have to tell her that you look at HER that way , then , you will be able to kinda see where her head is at about things.
