Any Ideas?

Okay so I guess I'll start from the beginning. There is this guy (surprising I know ). He is a guy that I met that started as a friend with benefits. I met him back in January. He is older then me, but has a youthful side to him. I guess you could say that I have more feelings for him then when this first started. I don't know where or not I should go for it though.

I know he is looking for a serious relationship, I'm just not sure if its with me. He has talked about what he wants in a women and surprisingly I have most of the traits he says he wants. I don't know if it is just me but when I'm with him it feels like I'm dating him. I can talk to him about anything and he does with me. He is always really sweet to me (kisses on the forehead/nose, brushing hair out of my face, I feel happy when I'm with him, and he lets me be me.)

I really don't know what I should do. A lot of my friends say I should just go for it. I guess I'm just afraid that I might end up making a fool of myself. After my last relationship I'm not exactly sure if I know how to tell when someone likes me or not. Can a good relationship come out of a friend with benefits situation?

 

A good relationship can evolve from any situation, it just depends on the people.

If he does all of the things that you listed, you can be pretty sure that he has feelings for you. Guys don't do those things unless they like you...they just aren't programmed that way.

 

That's what a lot of my friends have been saying, even my mom. He even has the say sense of humor as me. Got to love the dry, dirty, and sarcastic sense of humor.

 

How much older is he than you are?

 

He is in his 40s, which is why this situation is a little more unusual. I never expected that anything would even happy.

 

I don't know. That's a big difference in age. I worry that he's using you...til YOU get older, then dump you for someone younger. OR he's just a player.

Has he ever been married? Why is he still single?

I always have to question why someone is interested in someone 20 years younger or older than them. Are they searching for something? Compensating for something? I don't know...it's just...weird because I'm 27 and I don't know that I would have enough in common with someone who is almost 50 to have a deep relationship with.

 

It sounds like you are both clearly interested to me.

I don't know the exact situation, but usually when a guy's telling a girl what he wants in a woman and her traits are being listed - he wants that girl.
Also, when a guy does the cute, sweet things that you said - he is usually looking for someone to give his love to.

As DancerAnnie said, any situation can lead to a great relationship - but a tricky part with fuck-buddy-to-relationship is that interested parties may be afraid to say anything, because they know the arrangement is supposed to be sex-only; so speak up!

 

No lol he isn't a player. I'm honestly not worried about him using me because I know he isn't like that. He is a very genuine guy. He hasn't been married and I'm not even sure why he is still single. He one of those guys that seems like he should have been taken awhile ago. Its hard to explain, but I have so much in common with him. Time just flies when I'm with him and before I know it, its 3am.

 

Thanks duck, that's mainly why I haven't said anything because I know that I'm kind of breaking the 1st rule. lol

 

Usually if they seem too good to be true...they usually are.

 

Lol but he has to fit the too good to be true quality first. I can see a lot of things about him that would annoy other people. I love his personality, but he is a bit rough around the edges.

 

All the more reason you have to.

There was this girl from church when I was in the early teens. I liked her so much it took me years to get over her when we lost contact.
She showed every sign of liking me back - but I was so nervous I barely saw it, I underrated each one - and never imagined she could truly like me.

Well, I never asked, but now, looking back on it, I know that we both really liked each other, and we were both idiots =P

 

Aww that sucks, I've done that a few times. I'll be honest rejection sucks and I've been through it. I have a hard time telling if someone likes me. I did this crap all through high school and I'm just kind of sick of it.

Not even my ex did this and he said he "loved" me all the time. But he never could say what he loved or even liked about me. Funny how you can look back on things and see them so much more clear.

 

Well, the past puts you in a more objective position. Most people never want to take an objective view of their current selves, because they are afraid of what they will see. Of what they will realize, and of what it will change.
These sorts are completely limiting their control over their lives, out of a pretty simple fear.

Decide if you want a full relationship with him more than you are afraid of bringing your current situation to an early close.
If you want a full relationship more, ask him.
If you are more afraid, stay mum, and leave it up to the winds to decide.

 

That's a good point, I'm actually more afraid of someone else coming along and losing him that way. Now I just have to get the guts to say something to him.

 

Glad you've decided that. Was going to say, if you like something, go for it. Simple as that

Naysayers, they are a jealous bunch.

 

I agree with a lot of you all. Go for it. But figuring what to say sounds tough.

 

Yeah considering that I get tongue tied pretty easily. I guess I'll think about how to say it, but I'll get there. I asked my mom once and I'll say this I'll never ask her again.

 

Lol it sounds like you need to ask him out

 

Haha yeah I do, it just isn't my expertise. Sigh, I always got to go and make things more complicated then they are.