anyone else just getting tired of it ?

I don't know if this is sad or wise, but I'm getting to the point where romance and relationships just seem like too much hassle and too much drama.

basically it seems to me like all people care about is being with someone "Hot" or someone who has money or looking for meaningless sex.. and there is often times that I feel like a complete outsider.. looking for something that maybe doesn't even exsist.. a real connection. That's the only thing of value in this world.. our relationships and how strongly we can connect with one another.. when are people going to finally wake up and realize this? It's the greatest gift we have..

I'm almost 30 and have come to accept the fact that I could go my entire life and never find that connection I'm looking for.. where are all the people who understand what I'm saying? Everyone is supposedly just looking for love, to be loved, but it gets so distorted and twisted into ugly things..

where are the folks who want the pureness? the innocence and beauty of loving someone unconditionally? I can't seem to find it anywhere around me.. but I'm learning to be ok with that.. I'm learning that if it comes down to only me, then I will try to give out that love to all that I cross and hope that it flows forward from me as the source, though it might be a small source.

thanks for reading.

 

thats what im looking for, im losing hope fast tho...

 

Huh, I feel exactly like you do. In fact, I though I had that, but she got cold feet 2 months before our wedding, and now says she cant marry me...!?!? I just want a family and an unconditional relationship, and was 100%willing to give myself to that. Most people cant handle it I guess.

 

That is basically EXACTLY how I feel, Luna. I am 31 and have tried to find meaning within pain. I get tired of being connected to someone, then all of a sudden they run away, or run to their ex's, or demean me in some way. All I want is the pure love that my heart deserves.

 

I think I'm happy being at that point for a while. While sometimes I think it'd sure be nice to settle down, to have that level of intimacy with somebody special; I don't dwell on it too long. I'll usually just write a poem then.

What I really feel is that I'm going to be happier by myself. So... I'm not looking very hard for somebody else. If she falls in my lap, then so be it, but I'm not changing my direction for somebody else. That may sound selfish; and maybe it is, but right now is "me time."

 

well, that's great fulmah... if you realize that's the life you want and you enjoy being single then I think that's awesome..

and it's not that I'm miserable being single.. in fact, I've been single for so long (cause I can't seem to find anyone who I think is deserving of the beautiful heart I have) that I'm pretty comfortable being single.. sometimes this worries me too.

a good friend of mine once asked me if I ever wanted to get married. (i've never been married).. I told her I do, but I'm ok with it if it doesn't happen..then I thought, wow, maybe being ok with it and coming to terms that I may never get married is like laying down and taking it... because honestly, I *DO* want to get married someday.... just not to ANYBODY. And I only want to do it once...

I guess I just don't know where to look for like minded people who want what I want... I know you expect to meet people at a bar or club... I don't go to church.. (lol)... eh. it's cool though, I do still have (and always will) a bit of hope left that if it's meant to be, it will happen.

 

well, i know how you feel about the drama. personally i don't find drama to be worth it in a relationship - life is too short! it's sad, but i've often reminded myself that i don't argue with myself and i don't cause myself drama. so, if i have to be single to enjoy some serenity, so be it! but ultimately, i DO want to spend my life with someone...

i also think it will happen when you aren't really looking...or maybe i'm just too lazy to look

 

I say just run the course of your life without worrying too much and when you find that person your personalities will clash and you will know thats the 1. But it certainly sounds like you are anxious about it, which is normal. But I agree with all you said and feel the same way. From your post you already sound like a cool person to be with.

 

yea, I gave up on relationships long ago....just me and my guitars

 

What do you do? I mean, so what if you don't go to church, I don't know anyone who has met their SO at a church or church related function (but then most of my friends are pagans or athiests!). If you're into outdoorsy stuff, join a hiking or biking club. If you're into crafts, take a class -- probably more guys at the woodworking class than at the quilting class, but... Stop looking, stop stressing over whether you will ever find someone, get out there & do what you enjoy doing.

I didn't find someone until I stopped looking. I had had too much of the stupid drama, meaningless sex, all that. So I decided to give up men for a while. Instead of going off looking for a place to find dates, looking for hot guys, I just got to know some of the people in the department I was majoring in at college. None of the guys I met were the type I normally would have any interest in dating -- too large, too scrawny, or too short. Without that tension of "god I want him", I got to know one of the guys really well as a friend. We established that connection of close friendship before ever considering going beyond that. Our two year anniversary is coming up in a couple of weeks.

It's out there, you just have to stop looking for it. Not just say you're not looking for it (cuz I've known some folks who claimed not to be looking but their behavior screamed "desperate"), but really just focus on your own interests (not in a selfish way, but in a self-fulfilling way).

 

people are strange.

 

personaly i hate being single, hate it hate it hate it. but better no relationship than a bad one, in the meantime I plan to just become the best human I can become and wait for someone who can honestly aprecitiate that. just gotta make sure i dont fall for some conwoman who just says what i want to hear.


I WILL BE KNOWN !!!

 

girl...they are out there but you will find them once you stop looking...its kinda like the whole concept of seeking....if you are always seeking, you never find anything, the thing you are looking for. you are too busy looking out there and not seeing what is in your face.
the connections are difficult to find. there arent many places to go where there are like minded people...and yes that arent infactuated with ones looks, but it is possible. the internet does seem to give a great opportunity for us to see into one another's souls without being blinded by their looks. i found someone that helped to really transform me on this site. it didnt work out but without it i wouldnt be who i am today. it was only through the connection that i was able to be really touched to the core of my soul.
they are out there....its just a matter of enjoying who you are and life, until they come bobbing along entering your life and getting to be with the real you, the strong one, the one that has become strong and independent and knows how to love. when you are ready, when he is ready, you will meet.....or so i believe

 

I'm sick of the drama, it's all the media's fault. They put too much pressure on ppl to be in relationships, and tell ppl what to do and what not to do when they are in a relationship.

 

lol That has some resonance with me.

 

Shame that, relationships can be a beautiful thing

 

well you certainly aren't alone. I've found it's a really lonely road to find the person I can have a real connection with. I've been down the pointless relationship road and it's all just BS. looking for hot girls isn't the way I'm going to meet that person I can love forever. there were times I was ready to give up hope but then I realized to be ok with not having a girl so I'll just take it as it comes but I won't get involved with anyone I don't feel a special thing for. maybe she'll just come to me without me even looking for her. maybe.