Appreciate the Stoat

Discussion in 'U.K.' started by lithium, Oct 26, 2006.

  1. lithium

    lithium frogboy

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    Today, Friday 27th October, is National Stoat Day. The BBC are having a season of Stoat-themed programmes across their digital channels. I was just looking through their stoat microsite on BBC online and saw these snippets of factual info. Well then, you learn something every day!


    - The stoat is an opportunistic carnivore which lives close to rivers throughout the UK.
    - The stoat feeds mostly on mice and bats; sometimes it will catch and eat a small dog.
    - The stoat is an amphibious animal with a thick waterproof coat and an excellent sense of smell.
    - The stoat was first introduced to Britain from Iceland in 1987. It was common for stoats to be kept as pets on fishing boats during long sub-arctic trips. The practice has since been outlawed.
    - The stoat burrows into soft ground to create its nest, which is called a "gaff".
    - The stoat is not a mammal, but actually a kind of bird.
    - The stoat can leap almost two miles in a single bound.
    - A stoat is the same thing as a badger.
     
  2. Power_13

    Power_13 insult ninja

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    Oh my goodness my brother is a stoat! [​IMG]
     
  3. paulfreespirit

    paulfreespirit Senior Member

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    a stoat can leap almost two miles in a single bound :eek: man will have to get one "it can go the shops for me .
     
  4. Peace-Phoenix

    Peace-Phoenix Senior Member

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    A stoat shares 95% of its DNA with a pedophile....
     
  5. Power_13

    Power_13 insult ninja

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    Remember, a badger cannot harm you.

    Unless it is carrying a gun.
     
  6. Peace-Phoenix

    Peace-Phoenix Senior Member

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    Or molesting your children. Badgers share, on average, 96.3% of their DNA with pedophiles....
     
  7. Power_13

    Power_13 insult ninja

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    Robbie Williams' middle name is Badger. This is in tribute to his Great Uncle Badger, who lost his throat in the war. Ever since then, Great Uncle Badger had to communicate via a broken Speak 'n' Spell that was missing the key for the letter N and would turn itself off if he tried to get it to say "nipples". It was a broken life for Great Uncle Badger in those dark, dark days :(
     
  8. Peace-Phoenix

    Peace-Phoenix Senior Member

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    It is a well known fact that Robbie Williams shares only 1% of his DNA with a pedophile. It is also a well known fact that pedophiles share 100% of their DNA with children....
     
  9. phoenix_indigo

    phoenix_indigo dreadfully real

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    Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger ... Mushroom, Mushroom!


    *ahem*
    sorry, couldn't help myself
     
  10. Power_13

    Power_13 insult ninja

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    It could be said that a lot of children have quite a bit of pedophile in them. However, that would be a fucking sick joke and I refuse to lower my standards to such a level.
     
  11. lithium

    lithium frogboy

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    At 6pm there will be an official 7 minutes silence throughout Britain and across all the BBC's services, held to commemorate all those stoats who gave their lives in defence of our country.

    David Cameron was quoted as saying:
    "The recently declassified documents pertaining to the use of stoats as mineclearing mammals, I mean birds, they're not mammals, they're birds, at the ill-fated Battle of El-Alamein just goes to show that we can't trust a word Tony Blair says."

    [​IMG]
    YOU OWE YOUR FREEDOM TO THEM
     
  12. lithium

    lithium frogboy

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    A stoat protects its freshly-laid egg:
    [​IMG]
     
  13. lithium

    lithium frogboy

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    Grr! Angry stoat!
    [​IMG]
     
  14. shedtroll

    shedtroll Peace, Love & Linux

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    [​IMG]
    little baby stoat.....
     
  15. lithium

    lithium frogboy

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    [​IMG]
    "YUM, HUMANS TASTE GOOD"
     
  16. verseau_miracle

    verseau_miracle Banned

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    Yikes, how did i miss THIS one!

    Well, im a little late for the national stoat day unfortunately:( Im so sorry, all you heroic, honourable stoats. Belated respect coming from over here. A stoat once helped my granny across the road and gave her a penny

    Stoats are called stoats after the great St. Oat, a gent renowned for his expertise in troat fishing in the late 1800s

    I LOVE YOU, STOATS
     
  17. Peace-Phoenix

    Peace-Phoenix Senior Member

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    What caring instincts it has....
     
  18. lithium

    lithium frogboy

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    National Stoat Day is, as every year, the 27th January. For the next few days this forum will become entirely stoat-dedicated. All posts must be stoat-related or at the very least uh contain references to a small mammal. Anyone found to be in breach of this regulation will be subject to a Winton.

    Celebrations for National Stoat Day including a selection of stoat-themed poetry and stoat-shaped biscuits will commence shortly. Thank you for your attention.

    STOOOAAAAT. EGGGGG!


    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  19. silverhippy

    silverhippy Comfortably Numb

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    These things look ugly to me, my cat didn't eat yet today..

    [​IMG]

    peace
     
  20. Fingermouse

    Fingermouse Helicase

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    [​IMG]
    The rare flat-tailed stoat considers its next move
     

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