Are you detached?

Do you consider yourself to be a detached person?

I am pretty emotional so I am not, but many times I hold things in.

 

See sig.

I am not all the way there. But I do consider detachment to be the key to almost everything.

 

I probably seem that way in real life outside of home because I don't show my emotions well in public. Emotions are very very intimate and to tell you the truth, I'd rather be seen naked in public than crying in public.

 

I've learned to detach myself emotionally from most things... UA's sig says alot.

 

Well, I think it is a balance of looking detached while still maintaining some emotions within, and keeping them well under control.

 

Well, I feel emotion a lot, but never to the point where I act on those emotions. I haven't cried in, wow... maybe 10 years. Around people I am pretty closed in and have a hard time opening up. That's why I prefer being a lone wolf. I do have a hard time expressing myself in person.

 

Yes.

 

I don't show my emotions very often at all.. Even my best friend has only saw me cry a few times.
My emotions are under control though, I still have emotions inside.

 

Looking detached while holding emotional energy inside is not detachment.

 

I feel like I have the capacity to be detached but I don't follow it through often enough, if there is anything to follow through. What I am saying is that due to some measure of cowardice and some bad circumstances in recent times, my emotions have gotten the better of me again and I have some work to do before I can re-enter a "state of grace" as Leonard Cohen puts it.

 

Um...Kinda hard for me to answer the question the way it was posed. I guess I need to know what is meant by detachment.

I feel intensely...sometimes I feel well and sometimes I feel poorly. I'm not talking about my outward demeanor either. I don't think feelings "make me" do things either.

I haven't been to jail yet, so that's a plus. :biggrin:

 

I don't know how to explain it than.

I mean, if someone is detached they feel no emotion than? I always thought detached was more external and that internally, there could still be some emotions, just not externally obvious.

 

He is referring to people who are not siamese twins.

 

Having to process emotions- even when appearing to not have them, will likely sway one's ability to deal rationally with a situation.

 

Good sig, Facey. :cheers2:

To get back to the topic, I don't like the idea of holding shit in. That's all I can really say. I like expressing my emotions.

I also think there is a difference between what I feel and what I project. The projection is not the feeling, and in many ways feels like the denial of the feeling.

When I project, I'm establishing a false causal relationship between my feeling and displacing it onto some object that appears to be "external" or "outside my control."

When in fact everything is outside my control.

 

So detached is actually kind of a negative term in a way.

I mean, business wise it is very positive.

But some people could see it as negative.

No emotions are involved at all in detachment?

 

If one is able to selectively detach from certain situations- where people are not going to have their best interests at heart- is to their advantage.

 

There may be different types of detachment. A person who is detached in an unhealthy way buries their emotions and their overburdening thoughts or in other words "hold in emotional energy" so essentially they appear calm without dealing with their problems. These people are kind of mindless.

A person who is detached in a healthy way acknowledges their emotions and their overburdening thoughts, deals with them and partially detaches themselves from these "feelings". Buddhism has a lot to say on this topic. Have you ever tried meditating? Have you noticed that the key to peace is not to stop thinking and feeling but to observe and slow your thinking and feeling?

In short, to be detached in a healthy way is not to ignore feelings, but to observe them and become in control of them.

 

Are you talking about detachment from outcome or detachment from your feelings?

 

While not necessarily the same, I see those two as interrelated. Too much attachment to an outcome is usually due to too much attachment of feeling to that outcome. For example, "My whole self worth and sense of happiness depends on me winning this game today. I cannot lose."