Alright, my girlfriend and i have been dating for almost 6 months now.....and she has this HUGE problem with me partying, Unless shes with me. She doesnt want me to smoke, drink ETC ETc at all. Now ive been telling her that ive quit doing everything, except for when im with her, when she does it with me,,,,,but in all reality, i havent quit,,,,,now i dont smoke as much as i used to, but i do still maybe once or twice a week.......am i a untrustworty asshole and should live up to what i say im doin, or what?
Why does she have such a problem with you smoking and drinking? When she met you, you were smoking and drinking then, right? DON'T LET ANYONE CHANGE YOU!!!!! But also, don't lye about you not doing it anymore......trust is a BIG thing with any relationship! GOOD LUCK!!!
Oh when we met, it was at a party, and she smoked with me her first time........she just has this huge problem with it all of a sudden
Then DON"T CHANGE!!!!! I hate when I meet someone at a party and then they have a problem with me partying!!!!! WTF!!!! If she really likes you then she will except you for who you are!!!! Good luck and KEEP SMOKING!!!! lol
Well,,,her deal is that she says partying is ok once in a great while,,,,,but she has problem with me smoking everyday,,,,,but what can i do,,,,i went from smoking almost an eighth a day to making an eighth last me a week or two,,,,,sure its good economically but wtf?
you got to assert your independence, even when in a relatinship.as long as youre not smoking everyday, or drinking too much when you drink, youre not hurting anyone.
Who cares!!!! Let her know that's who you are, and that's who you have always been. If she doesn't like it, then she is not worth your time. If you cave into her and tell her that you will quit or cut back then she will expect you to do that with all the things you two do. Like I said, DON'T LET ANYONE CHANGE WHO YOU ARE!!!!-because you will be you forever, but you may not be with her forever.
Be your own person and don't change to please her. Ultimately women get turned off by guys that they can control and boss around. Don't lie to her. She obviously has trust issues that need to be dealt with so I suggest that you confront her about her trust issues.
Did she know to what extent you partied when you first started dating? Not to take a totally different side than everyone else or anything, but I know it would piss me off if I suddenly found out my boyfriend smoked and drank alot. Also, are you sure it's just the partying that pisses her off? Girls are awfully good at confusing guys at what they're mad about.
No,,,she knew damn weel i partied alot before,,,,,she kinda just looked the other way for the few mnths we were together,,,,but now she thinks i do it too much,,,,,which, sure i may over indulge sometimes, but it doesnt affect our relationship at all(cept for this now).....shes ok with it all though if shes with me,,,she hates it if i do anything with my friends with out her
Don't lie to her. If she wants to be with you then she will have to just accept you. I had a problem like this with my boyfriend, but it was me that didn't like him smoking and drinking all the time. I used to hassle him constantly about smoking and all that, but eventually I realized that I didn't really want to change him and I just got over it. I cared about him enough to accept what he wanted to do.
first, ask her WHY she wants you to stop drinking and smoking and partying. is she concerned about your health? is it a trust issue (maybe she thinks you'll get wasted and cheat, or she thinks that you'll be hitting on other girls, etc)? does she think that you might be out of control? i'm not trying to judge, i don't know you, but if she doesn't party much, maybe she worries that your drinking is leading to alcoholism or getting out of hand? maybe she feels like you are mean or rude to her when you get drunk? talk to her, and ask her! most likely, you'll find out that she has a reason for it.. and that she's not trying to be an evil bitch and change you. once you find out why she feels the way she does, then you can decide what to do. i'm not saying that she's right for doing what she's doing, but it seems like everyone else is saying, "don't let her change you!" and while that's decent advice, i thought a different opinion might be appriciated. also, don't lie to her, and don't pretend that you're not doing something that you're are. don't tell her you aren't smoking, and then turn around and light up a joint... you could use this as an opportunity to help her understand that things aren't as bad as she thinks... but if you lie, and tell her you quit, then she'll think that she was right in asking you to stop. she might think that you agree that alcohol is a problem, for example, even though you had no idea that was her thought. just come clean with her, find out whats up with her thoughts, and go from there. if she doesn't like you getting wasted at parties because she doesn't trust you, then lying about your habits only confirms that you are not trustworthy.
Well it seems quite obvious. You're not compatible. Break up. You're not an asshole, just a weak pussy.
I agree with lawngirl. Sounds like she is scared of you losing control when you do it without her, and she's scared of you getting wasted and then cheating on her. And to be fair, she has a point, people are much more careless when they're drunk or stoned. If it was the health thing, I think she wouldn't do it with you together. Make sure she knows she can trust you. And to all the people who said "never change who you are", this is true to an extent. But in this case it's not about changing "who he is" but "what he does". Big difference. Sometimes it's important to find a compromise in a relationship. Though it looks as if you have already compromised quite a bit, so only thing left to do is show her your trustworthiness. Good luck.
