All of my life I’ve never really received much motherly or fatherly compassion and have grown bitterly use to it. My mom died when i was 11, and my dad hasn't really been that close to me, but rather close to alcohol. But that's all fine with me and everything. As a matter of fact since I’ve lived my whole life without real parental figures I’ve grown to prefer that. But now i have a whole new thing to deal with. Over the past few months I’ve grown a close relationship with my dad and step mom. And as far as with my step mom maybe a little too close. It first started to bother me when i was setting over at there house smoking pot with my step mom, which was very drunk, and next thing i know she's rubbing on me and just in general making me very uncomfortable. I'm the type of person to hold back this sort of thing and not say anything. So today she calls me up drunk telling me all these things about how she wishes i was her kid and that she wishes that she could have given birth to me. She went on and on about this and half the time i couldn't understand her and would have to ask her to clarify what she meant. To sum it up she kept asking me what i thought, and i would say, "about what?" and she kept saying that i knew, when i didn't know what the fuck she was talking about. The whole conversation was just too much, and it was making me very uncomfortable. So she eventually asked me what i thought of her as a step mom, and asked if i hated her, and asked why i couldn't tell her i loved her. She wanted me to look at her as my mother, which is fine, but she's not. I told her the truth. I can't tell her that i love her because that would feel way to awkward. I figured that it was obvious that i did, but apparently not. She told me she was an all or none person and that it was either love or have nothing to do with that person. She asked, basically, what was bothering me and i told her that it was all of this emotional, close relationship thing. Right then i knew that just fucked her world up, but i was being honest. She responded as if it was no big deal, but i knew it was very much so. Her behavior toward me was making me very uncomfortable, and i had to tell her the truth. So she rapped up the conversation by basically saying she will stay out of my life and not bother me, leaving me feeling like an ass. I was trying to tell her that that didn't have to be. That we could still laugh and have fun together. I told her then that i did love her, but she just gave a weird laugh and said, "never mind." She just said that i needed my dad and not her. Then she hung up on me. I called her back and she didn't answer. That really upset me. Tell me, is this my fault? Was i an asshole. What better things can i say to fix this situation, and just move it in the past? Thanks
sounds like she cant respect the fact that your mother died and you will probably have some close-ness issues with mother figures and possibly with women for a little while, at least until you get into a stable realtionship where you know the person wont just up and leave you (or at least, most folks whove lost a parent that i knkow are like that) i think you both owe each other an apology. her for not respecting the fact that she can never ever take the place of your birth mother (nor should she try) and you because, well, you know you couldve handled that better (remember us chicks dont usually like the blunt obvious answer, we want it packaged in styrofoam and handed gently to us so it doesn thurt our delicate sensibilities and no im not joking seriously most women are like that). hopefully itll get fixed with time
Sounds to me like shes got some issues she needs to sort out with a clear head. No booze or smoke or anything else.That kind of head trip crap she laid on you ain't right. Sounds to me like you might be more mature than she is. Be open but be damn carefull.
And another thing i forgot to mention that she said. She said that she wanted me to come over to her house so she could pet me and SMELL MY HEAD! I had to ask her again if that's what she said because i just couldn't believe it. If that's not weird enough then i don't know what is, and i don't want to know. It was getting a little to weird for my taste.
She called me apologizing yesterday, and i told her not to worry about it. Just don't call me up drunk anymore.
Yeah, you should have a talk with her when she is sober. Then maybe she would understand And remember to smile, it always makes every awkward situation more enjoyable
It sounds like she has a lot of issues that she need to work out. It was wrong of her to rub on you and call you up drunk. Perhaps you are to close. Try explain to her that you want her in your life but in more of a mentor sort of way. Explain to her the boundaries and make sure ya'll are both on the same page.
