back in contact! help!!!

ive been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years in october, and like every couple there are ups and downs fall outs and bla bla....

well me and my boyfriend split up january this year due to me looking at his phone then approaching him about it... of course my fault for looking i saw texts on there from the receptionists at the hotel he used to stay at when he was away... he said they were friends and nothing to it... we split as he knew there was no trust in the realationship. we stayed friends,got back together in june as we kept seeing eachother , missed eachother to much and we were still in love....

i went on holiday with a friend for 2 weeks and when i got back he was fine and wanted to see me straight away chatting non stop! on the sunday i looked at his phone i know it was wrong and bad of me and dont know why i done it, but his back incontact with the girl that kinda broke us up... but as i was looking it looks like shes doing the texting and his replying with like non questionable texts back just giving the answers to her q's... shes lives up north and he lives south in my area....

his absolutly fine with me nothing has changed only his moods but thats where he is tierd... i have had few rows with him where he has had the chance to say its over but he hasn't.. still being supportive and all lovey with me.... what do i look out for is it a bad sign there texting? just be friends as he says? or is there a spark thier? am i being silly and getting parinod and going to go how i did last time?

HELP PLEASEEEEE!

 

Paranoid.

 

may i ask why you say paranoid.... any one else have their views i'd like to hear!!!

 

i have to agree, you're being paranoid- the term insecure works just as well, take your pick....
the fact that you keep going into his phone and there is nothing to state that he's been anything but loyal to you backs this up.

 

thank you hun.... he hasnt told me that they are back in contact he doesnt know i have looked through his phone either! eskkk

 

you should tell him

 

I say paranoid for a few reasons, one being that your snooping, which is basically looking for issues and not very honest.

And your worried about a girl, when you say yourself that the texts aren't sexual. It's silly to think that you'll be the only girl in his life.

 

maybe he hasn't told you because of your assumptions when they were in contact before...if you tell him you're snooping in his phone then he'll think there isnt any trust again(which doesnt really seem like there is)and you two will probably end up breaking up - possibly permanently.
If you want to be with him, stop snooping and start trusting!

 

first i wont tell him as yes it will break us up and probably not friends. i need to change and start trusting more....as another question if he wasnt down with me and after out disagreements over the weekend then wouldnt he of said sod it lets call it a day... i love him and i ned to stop and change at then end of the day its him im with and his with me.....

does any of you guys have facebook?

 

Sorry. your not being Paranoid. You have a right to not trust him for what he has done to you. But I have been in the same situtation. 11 years togather and the last 3 years we were engaged,with building a housetogather. I done the same thing, Looked at phone records. They don't lie. When I found out, I confronted him. He told me he was going to stop talking to her. So we could move on. I believed mine, when He told me that he had stopped talking to her. Come to find out that he was still talking to her and going and seeing her as well. Lying to us both about everything. So I can tell you one thing it needs to STOP. The texting or whatever it is. You need to tell him its you or her. He can change his number. Because the other lady knows what she is doing. TRUST me. Hope it works out for you. You have a right to do want you need to do to start trusting him. If he don't mine you looking then he wants to work thing out. But if not. You need to be happy.

 

i think it's been clear so far that the texts haven't been sexual or anything...

 

Which says alot, and he TOLD HER that he's back into contact with her, he would lie if theres something going on.

You should trust your partner or not be with them.

 

can i please say he hasnt told me that he is back incontact with her as he knows i will not like it.... plus shes doing the texting all the time by what i saw.... the texts are not sexual... i think i need more of a male answer to this as they understand more anddd ?pastry chef is the same age as me

 

thank you dallas 14

thank you asswomen for your opinion and views

 

why don't you just get your boyfriend to answer? honesty is just as important as trust in a relationship(they go hand in hand).

 

mary j blaze - thank you hun for the last comment... help me one thing every one can add to this yet again.... but seriously if he was texting her wanting to get with her then he wouldnt be so in to me still... plus when we had arguments this weekend he would of just walked instead of making it work between us? and trying to please me to much .... he can trust me i can trust i know it doesnt sound like it but i think its really down to being worried insecure and putting silly things into my own head?

 

its hard to say what he's thinking and what his logic behind it is, that's why i think its best to just come clean about snooping in the phone, assure him that it'll never happen again and discuss why you did it in the first place.
It will really open up honest communication and hopefully put both of you at ease in your relationship.

Ultimately it's your choice in how you handle the situation....I think though it would really be in your best interest to be honest with him if you want to build a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.

 

What does my age have to do with anything? Age doesn't show maturity.

 

ermmmm thank you mary j blaze!

i was only saying sorry...

 

The fact is, you shouldn't be going threw his shit, it's not nice. If you know what it would get you dumped if you told him then you shouldn't do it.

If this bothers you so damn much tell him, and break up with him. I hate to burst your bubble though, you'll never have a boyfriend who doesn't have other female friends. It's not fair to assume as much. Further more you should have the confidence in yourself that he cares about you more then this other chick. Your his girlfriend, when you came back and he was all excited it went ot show how much he cares about you. What are you so worried about? He sounds like he loves you, even with you trying to make him sound dishonest he sounds great.

Take a look at what you have hear, and how you'd feel if you lost him over a harmless long distance friendship, how you'd feel if he was doing the same to you that your doing to him.

Figure out why you don't trust him.

Then start working on it, starting with leaving his phone alone.