The other night my girlfriend got mad at me again, but this time was different. Whenever she gets mad at me we always talk it out and never leave mad, and this time was no exception, except that I was left very unsatisfied. She basically said (not in these words) that the way I show affection isn't good enough for her. That's hard for me to hear cause I've never worked so hard on something in my life. I'm not a very open person publicly with my feelings, and she seems to think that because I'm not very affectionate to her in public that I'm not really into her. I tell her I am, but she needs it to be proved. So, without getting into details, I'm left feeling like I have to bow down to her every command, and that makes me kinda pathetic. Of course it's because I don't bow down to her that she thinks I don't love her in the first place, but I think it's a dignity thing. I'm left wondering why she'd want to take my dignity away. Things have been awkward ever since. I need to say something, but I'm scared cause she's gonna take offense to it. She's so confusing and insecure. I'm insecuer too, but at least I have a handle on my emotions, and only get mad when it's appropriate. I don't want to lose her, but it makes me angry that she's given me ultimatums and basing our relationship on other peoples relationships. This isn't gonna turn out good, I have a feeling.......
I don't think you should think about it as you bowing down to her. I think you need to think about it as...you care about her/love her and you want to make her happy. And if changing a few things (small!) in your life is going to do that...then it's worth it. just my opinion.
I don’t really like giving advice without knowing the people involved very well, but imo, she should not be putting an ultimatum upon you, she should not be putting you down for it... the fact that you feel "pathetic" is a very telling way of putting it. I don’t know the background of your relationship, how long you’ve been together, stuff like that; but when someone uses that kind of description, it’s usually a sign of bad things going on. You could be suffering from depression or she could be putting you through emotional blackmail; bad things like that. Basically though, if you're caving in to avoid a fight, if it feels like you have to walk on eggshells, be careful. Something needs addressing, and you need to figure that out, and fast. A professional would be a good choice, someone you can give a larger picture to that’s experienced in what that entails. Then again, if this is the only thing that’s really coming between you, I agree with Annie, you don't have to think about it as bowing down, it’s normal to try and make your partner happy, and perhaps it’s simple miscommunication; but for some reason, I think not. Just remember, you’re happiness is just as important as hers. Think about that long and hard.
i hate pda. i don't blame you at all for not finding it easy to engage in. regarding relationships, you kinda sound like a person who requires your personal individuality and relies on yourself first. she kinda sounds like she needs another to "be complete" and relies on the approval of others. (or something) but anyway, wow, it seems like you both have very very different ways of feeling and vewing things. it's like you both can't understand where eachother are comming from at all. you need either clearer communication or a breakup. lol... i dunno... if you really want to stay with her and she can't conform to you or you can't meet some middle ground, then you're gunna have to try to change. maybe try to find it in yourself to agree with her and then get over your own feelings. that's what i conclude without knowing what you guys are really like. haha ... i say leave the bitch and find someone less pathetic.
Why would you feel pathetic showing her that you care? That made no sense to me. She is telling you she needs something and cannot be in a relationship without it she is not trying to overpower you or give you an ultimatum. That's how it sounds to me anyway.
you should talk to her and tell her how you feel, and tell her how you would like things to be, but meet some middle ground, and if your not satisfied then, i say find someone else
Well, we just talked it out, painfully, but everythings ok. i guess. we'll see. The only reason I kinda freaked out this time is cause she said something like "sometimes I don't know about us " because of something which I didn't really know what else to do about. And every time after that fight that I said goodbye to her she was frowning at me disapprovingly, and that starts to wear on you very quickly, cause you dont wanna have to feel like shit when you're going out of your way to try and please someone. YOu know, all I can beis myself and she'll just have to accept that. She understood. I hope. But thanks to all for listening to my stupid problems, it's good to vent sometimes.....
I was going to say something like that! I would add punch her in the tits a couple of times. How's that for a Public Show of affection?
don't you think that with holding love for her because of your pride is kind of abusive? I am not trying to sound mean I just think you need to evaluate the situation and give her what she needs. It's funny how quickly us girls change for the better when we're given what we need.
