Being Single

It's been awhile since I've been single. Over a year and a half now...but now that I'm not in a relationship anymore, I remember what it's like....

I like the feeling a lot. The feeling that I can do anything, any time, anywhere, without having to worry about what someone else is thinking, doing, or how they are going to react.

I feel like I have the world at my fingertips... That's not to say that I don't miss having someone to cuddle up to already, to keep warm, to hold tightly, but I think this freedom trumps all that at this point.

Sometimes I think this need for freedom is selfish, sometimes I think it's the only way to live, and sometimes I just don't give a fuck...and I think that's OK too...

I don't know, it's a random thought...I'm happy right now...just where I want to be.

 

I know how you feel. It is liberating and you have a sense of atonomy (sp) that you did not experience before. Enjoy the good life gurlie. Before you know it, you find the right person at your fingertips.

Peace!

 

Meh...I'm not interested in getting into a relationship right now...at least not here while I'm in Michigan.

 

I haven't been single in a year and almost 9 months...I loved being single, but honestly, we've become so co-dependent, that I couldn't imagine how to go about without him. I'm a strong and independent enough person to do just fine on my own, I've already proved that to myself, but I really don't miss much about the single life...I feel just as liberated and free now as I ever did.

 

Co-dependence? *shudders*

 

I'm so glad that you're feeling good Annie. I think, from some previous posts of yours lately, that you were feeling kind of restless with your relationship, and it didn't seem like you were truly, in your heart, happy with the way things were.

I think you're on the right path.

{{{Hugs}}}

 

Congrats on being single

I have always enjoyed being single... relationships are nice, but not until you find the person you truly click with... I've been in a couple of relationships, but being single is the only way I truly know how to live. I think a relationship would be good for me though, it will bring me down to earth from the clouds and being co-dependent on a person will make me more responsible.

Enjoy your freedom

 

I haven't been single in 12 years. Sometimes I fantasize about living alone and only having to do my own laundry It's all good.

 

Now you can blast rap music as much as you want

 

i've been single for 3 months now... it sucks

 

Likewise. I don't even know if I know what it's like to be single since I've been in an eight year relationship and before that I was only single for a couple months and had a four year one. Eh.... sometimes I think it would be nice... there are benefits of both I suppose.

 

Maybe I'm seeing things. But I've been noticing lately that successful women tend to derail their lives by being in relationships. Think about it. Britney Spears was making it do what it do before Kevin. Whitney may have had a functional coke habit before Bobby, a mere vice. Fucking wit Bobby, she's at the repeat rehab level and the ultimate crackhead joke. Rene tried to jack Janet Jackson on top of cheating on her. Then she was on top of her game......until Jermaine. She got fat and had to lose it. And that album she made after they got together, didn't it go wood?

Even me. I love my boyfriend but when we got together, I was about to graduate and on top of the world. Now look at me 2 years later. I don't blame the guys really. I just think that its plain old hard to be a woman. Its draining to be in a relationship, especially a bad one.

Then again, what do I know?

 

Being single is alright, i haven't been for almost a year now. I was single for such a looooong time now that i'm in relationship, it feels right for me. It's nice to have someone you love to love you back and share a life together. Though I have to admit, relationships are a little hard sometimes, but it's so worth it when you are with someone who's just right for you. I don't think I'd like to be single again, for me it was like there was something missing in my life.

 

Well, as of the past few months, he's been more dependent on me because he lost his job and I've been the "provider." I guess, though, I thrive on that feeling of being needed. He got another job here in town now, so we'll have extra money, but we were doing pretty okay before, too. Our cars are busted, so we haven't had to pay ridiculous gas prices or routine maintenance, so that really keeps us afloat. It's nice that I won't have to pay the bills solely anymore, but I honestly did enjoy the feeling that I was helping someone so much and it was benefiting me as well. I guess I may end up really enjoying motherhood...because I really liked babying him, lol.

Of course, I still want him to keep his job, lol. We're living rent-free right now, but trying to accumulate the funds necessary to move down south by the end of the year.

So, I guess by co-dependent, I more or less meant that he's been dependent on me and I've been dependent on that feeling.

 

I've been single for well over a decade... and a huge reason is the fact that I'm quite selfish about things. The act of compromise, which is something very necessary for any relationship to work, was creating excessive amounts of undue stress and making me behave in ways that sabotaged the relationship. I've concluded that the world- well at least this little corner of it, is a better place with me flying solo.

 

What exactly is codependency anyways? I mean, I know the definition but I have never understood the difference between the fine line of codependency and a healthy give and take relationship.

 

I'm not entirely sure but I believe "codependency" involves one party being dependent on the second being an enabling force (covering up, making excuses for...") in a life defined by a problem behavior like alcoholism or drug dependency.

 

i miss being in a good relationship. i havent been in one that amde my heart sing since july. ive been ina coupel relationships since then but short lived and nothing spectacular. nothign relaly worth remmebering aside from the sex

 

Dang, MissF, I think you have something there...

It is hard being in a relationship! I feel like sometimes it gets in the way and makes things way more complicated when trying to achieve goals...when you have someone in your life, you tend to try to make that person happy instead of trying to make yourself happy...

I don't know...but I totally agree with you.

 

I don't like being single, it's been way too long since I've been in a real relationship where I could actually see a future. I miss the feeling of being loved and being in love, sharing my life with someone and knowing that someone really cares about me. I would love to find someone I can have that kind of a relationship with but I'm not obsessed with finding that. I can be happy by myself too.