Blackout

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by TrippinBTM, Oct 27, 2006.

  1. TrippinBTM

    TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

    Messages:
    6,514
    Likes Received:
    4
    Blackout

    I've lost time.
    It's not about forgetting,
    the events haven't slipped my mind;
    there never was a grip on the grey matter
    for them to lose.

    My eyes were open,
    yet only to a dark vacancy;
    I was awake but I was not aware,
    stumbling around, stone drunk,
    I lost myself.

    Buzzed-up laughs
    turned to the scowl of the drunk;
    angry words uttered in the night air,
    trash-talking and ready to fight my friends;
    or so I've been informed.

    Was I that man
    cursing his loved ones in a rage?
    Am I the one with that darkness inside,
    revealed to me only in a binge
    lost to memory?
     
  2. hippie_chick666

    hippie_chick666 Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,768
    Likes Received:
    1
    Very well written! I like your style of writting!

    Peace and love
     
  3. lanaia74

    lanaia74 Member

    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    0
    VERY well done!
     
  4. TrippinBTM

    TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

    Messages:
    6,514
    Likes Received:
    4
    Thank you both. I only wish this wasn't based on a real situation. :&
     
  5. Dark Party

    Dark Party Member

    Messages:
    38
    Likes Received:
    0
    Powerful things are happening here, but you lose me a couple of times becaues of the word choices (stone drunk, trash-talking). You need to be very precise in poetry.

    But I like it.
     
  6. Biida

    Biida Member

    Messages:
    833
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gave me shivers, navy blue .
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice