broken up - confused - has anyone ever been thru something like this?

me & my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up (4 wks before xmas). We had had something really great, and then my life suddenly got really hard - and I had a lot to deal with, and we were spending so much time together (too much - i was over there 7 days a week - that's part of the problem...) - he was really good & stood by me to a point, but then it just got to be too much - & I kind of agree with him. But he just never told me it was too much - I think he felt like he had to be there or he wasn't a good boyfriend - but in the end it made me too needy and then he suddenly turned into a jerk - but this was at our 2 year point - just the point when couples hit that - wow - you are *human* after all -

the next problem is, we are both artists, and our vulnerabilities intersect in a way that we set off each others fears & negative traits - but - until at least the beginning of this summer - we just loved each other so much - I felt things light up when I saw him - and he would run up to me, and hold me...

Has anybody ever broken up - & thought that all hope was gone, except one tiny little thread - a thread that says - we really love each other - we just have a lot of fears & emotions to work with.

nobody has ever been in love with me. Its hard to let it go, and when I look at some of the letters he wrote, even when he was being kind of awful to me this fall, he apologized for his confusing behavior, and was really honest. We had a confusing break up - because it was supposed to be a break to work on our own stuff - but we still broke up - I was feeling awful, and rejected - I had to initiate the break up - he finished it, and then acted like we had never broken up. He was really showing his Inner Jerk and I finally couldn't stand it - I told him - if you can't give me closure - give me space. And he has. And I can't stand it. I don't know what is worse, the crazy mixed signals he was giving me that made me say 'leave me alone!' or actually being left alone.

has anyone been thru anything like this, and worked things out (even if it took a long time?) or, has anyone been able to work thru their hurt and loss and be friends after? I want to be a good hippie, & be loving to this wonderful person who came into my life, and showered love on me, and changed my life in many good ways, but the pain & fear of loss is eating me up, and paralyzing me.

Help - loving Hippies, help
your experiences & thoughts would really mean a lot to me

 

Personally I've never remained friends with an ex. I believe ex's are ex's for a reason. I'm not saying it's impossible...just that I've never done it. But sometimes you just have to be thankful someone came into your life and taught you valuable lessons and except the fact that you have to let them go. Have you talked to this guy about the situation and possibly getting back together?? If you want to be with him let him know. IF he says yes, then great...if he says no...move on.

 

I can sent a lot of love in everything that you wrote.
I think that as long as it has love in your heart for this person keep trying to streight thing up.

Everyone needs some space and some time off once in a while. But that doesn't meen it's over. You were together all the time, that explains why bouth of you need this time alone.
My advice is to give him a space for a while, but to let him know that you are here for him and that you care for him and that you love him no mather what.

 

Well said Marija.
When me and the hubby were dating we hit a point when it was call it quits and get away. We were apart for 8 mo., then we ran into each other one day talked as friends for awhile. After a little bit of time we talked through what had happened. He barrowed my couch at my new place for a few days while I was working because he had no where to go and when it came time for him to leave because he got things in order I told him I liked having him there and wanted him to stay. He remained on the couch for about a month and then things just progresses 3 years later we married we have now been married almost 4 years and it has been almost 10yrs that we have been a couple. Hope this helps in some way. Try being friends again after thing have cooled for awhile.

 

it sounds like you have much love for this guy, keep working thrue it and hopefully you wil be able to work things out
maybe the space will give you the break that you need to be able to patch things up.
take care, good luck
{{{hugs}}}
l
xxx

 

layla, i want to tell you that i know how you feel i am going through literally the exact same thing as you right now! if you want to talk i think you and i could help each other out alot!