bullied... for sooo long. i dont know how to not be nervous.

hello. i'm having a problem.

im being bullied. i dont know how to stick up for myself. without getting... anrgy, or drunk.

its mental abuse basically and i have no compassion left for this person. i feel weak. no energy.
i think this is the intention of the bullyer..

i dont know what to do. theres noone i can talk to about this. becuase its so embarssing.

i need help or somone to talk to. why am i letting this happen???

i don ever feel safe with a person. im always being threatened. and its mental abuse i think. to constantly threaten a person..

what am i going to do???? i have so much hate held inside...

 

i know this is a hippy site and erything but im no hippie...HIT THIS PERSON IN THE FACE.

 

perhpas it would be easyer you help you if you gave more imformation?

Who is this bully? family, friend etc
where is it happening?
what are they doing?
and how many people are involved?

 

Quite simply, your thinking too much about it. You recognize the bully's intentions. When you recognize them, dont let him win, acknowledge what you need to do to and do it, dont think about so far ahead.

 

Well first off, like Xac says, if you put maybe a little more detail it would be easyier for me to give some advice, but for now I know exactly what you're going through, My ex b/f mentally abused me for so long, that I just got sucked into it, and it really is tough.

 

you can do one of two things, both though require a spine

1) Hit em back with their own medicine, only twice as hard and twice as ferociuos

2) Hit em back with 50 lbs of fist, then while their surpirsed hit em back an kick em on the ground till you hear something crack......then piss on them (last part is optional)

 

Hitting back isn't a option. Those bulleys are usually people who hang out in groups. So if he/she hits back she/he has to deal with a group.

I dont know if you are still bullied but if so then dont feel ashamed and just talk or tell somebody who can help you.

Dont be nervous around people. Its still your life. Just live it how you want it and fuck everybody who doesnt agree. We all have our things. People who always agree with others are sheeps.

 

Kick his ass.

 

I dunno, I'd need more details to help you out. What is he doing? What started it? Who is he?

 

wait till hes alone, then break his legs with a large blunt object. Then run. hahaha

 

thats the problem these days, i used ot be able to get ahold of a nice lead pipe quick...but ill be damned if i can find any anymore..its all stell or iron...i dont want to run the risk of the skin breaking open i jsut wnat to break the bones and leave a bruise! lol

 

thanks everyone. sometimes it does help to have smone say....'kick them down'

i know everyone has been there at some point. feeling like this.
it's in my psyche. it used to be my dad he would drink and be violent. then my mum, as sosoon as i hit puberty.. went crazy.
the only time she speaks is if its a threat. or an attempt to unsettle me. i think shes crazy. everyday she goes too far and i am so... bloody blind. i just accpet it without an apology. carry onlving in fear.
your right i think about it too much.
and i have no idea why id o this except that i must be really weak minded.
as a person. this person...is abusive, violent, cruel. and i really would like to inflict as mucch pain upon her as possible. another ascpet of me suspects that this is also her intent. to make me feel twisted with internal rage.

i mean what a torturous hing to do... its totaly screwing up my head, and i dont have a life excpet for this precoccuptaion.

any type of adivce would be really appriciated. i dont care how obvious, blunt, or radical.. anything

 

another thing that is screaming at me from this page is what someone said to me is. that ascpetc of another peoson you have difficulty with are issues within yourself.

but imagine if it was simply. two people. one good, one bad... inflicting all this damage.. how would you treat the bullier?

 

just take all your emotions and focus them towards one thing, do not allow your emotions to show on the outside, if you need to cry don't let them know simply take all the darkness and all the sorrow and harness it, build a shield of cyncism, listen to good music (simon and garfunkle I am a rock for starters) and whenever you're angry do not explode, simply become cold do not explode, just be quiet and very strong, like the edge of a blade, and take the blade of your emotions and cut them, they are you're parents you know them, you know their weaknesses, just think about it and exploit them, destroy them emotionally more thoroughly than they have destroyed you, then laugh for you are victorious


worked for me at least

 

crikey...

i dont want to destroy them . im fed up of destruction. i had tried that alreday. feebly a few years ago by moving out and drinking myself into comas.

now im at the stage.. where im no longer destroying myself.. but am also stuck in kind of powerlessness / permisssion... to enjoy... my own.. guiltless life.

im sort of quite alot actually, warped by shame and guilt. for letting myself be treated.. like this.

im just ... now what?? you know?!

 

destroying yourself is pointless (drinking etc) it just allows them to place blame off of themselves (we raised a good child, the child I raised would never do this etc.) seriously, the best defense is a good offense, it is not just some cliche, it is true, if you blitz them, destroy and subjugate them before they understand you have rallied you will have won, they will have lost and seeing the difference will allow you to move on, parents are people as any others, they have their strengths and weaknesses.

 

I think "kicking the shit" out of the person who is bullying you or even bullying back isn't a good idea, but holding back all the anger you have inside of you isn't either, because like that you are poisening yourself.
My suggestion would be to go out into the forest or a park, or where ever you can get away from people and shout and scream all that anger out of you. Stump on the ground, throw a stone, say all the nasty things you think about that other person out aloud and do that until you are getting exhausted. Maybe you'll start crying, maybe you will start to laugh, just let your emotions flow. That can be very reliefing.
And then maybe lie down on the grass, hug a tree, look at the sun, take in some new life energy from the nature.
Hope that helps a bit

 

I disagree. imo, all it does is feed more hatred, and validate whatever is motivating the bully to behave the way they are.

I would suggest first learning about abuse and figuring out how it's affecting you, and work on those issues to help get some confidence and happiness back. I'd work with a psychologist as well, they're trained to give you tools to deal with it, and they're something safe you can turn to. When I was dealing with this, the thing that helped me the most was learning that it wasn't my fault.... I wasn't being screamed at and being insulted because of something I did, it was because when she felt bad about anything, it was someone elses fault and 99% of the time I was the one around to blame it on.

That's when you should set boundaries. Don't acknowledge the bullies behavior. There has to be a clear message that the game isn't going to be played, period. If they insult you, walk away, lock yourself in your room, and crank your music up. If they bang on the door, leave. If they try and stop you, call the cops. If they act like a civilized person and want to talk, then you can talk.

I don't know your situation exactly, but I can tell you that it's very easy to get into an escalating tit-for-tat cycle without even realizing that you're participating. Actively fighting fire with fire is a bad, bad idea. However, there are plenty of techniques that do work. Check here:
http://www.greatbridgelinks.com/SpeakOut/

 

Hitting or punching is just going to make things worse. Talk to your friends. If they laugh at you, or embarress you they arent really your friends. Make an attempt to not go around the person, if you see them coming, go the other way. If they continue to bully you, laugh and agree with them. ( I know that sounds like it might hurt more) but if they think it isnt bothering you , they wont do it anymore. If all else fails, then like pull your pants down and shit in the mud or something..(litterly) that'll scare 'em off..hahaha.

 

this is some incredible advice. i dont want to poison myself with feeling like im a bad person.

i need to get away from the game. and also take some more risks.


i wish i wasnt so easily... bullied in genral. stick up for myself without fighting., assertion without agression. sound smple but it can be more difficult than you think yto chnage your whole personlaity and psyche