Butter's Girl Issues...Again

Hey everyone. Well, to all who read my last story...nothing ever developed or anything, which really sucked. I felt like crap for a long while, but now I'm finally getting over it. Well, I'm in college now, and its happened again. I've met a girl who is the coolest girl I have ever met, and we have alot in common. She's incredably nice, pretty, really smart, perfect. She hangs out with me and the rest of my group of friends at school now all the time. If she's not studying, she's hanging around with us. I can tell she likes me as a real good friend, but I've fallen for her hard. My last girl instance was basically because I had known the girl so long, but this one is because I actually have the feeling now that she's the one. I mean, I can just picture us together so easily. I've been trying so hard to get her to really like me. I've been the perfect gentleman. Payed for dinners, open all the doors, walk her back to her dorm at night, all that stuff. I've been the NICEST guy of all of us. She thinks I'm really funny, and she talks to me all the time, but she still doesn't see me as an "interest" I guess yet. I've been trying so hard to get her to see me that way, but I don't think I've been successful. We've known each other for three weeks now. I guess what I'm asking is, what can I do? Am I not doing something right? I want to be with her so bad, and I'm not one of those guys who just wants to get in her pants. So, what can I do??? I'm just so tired of being alone, and I really feel she's the one for me. Thanks in advance.

 

two ladders. your leaning to the freind ladder. jump the void while the space is still small and make a move.

 

Yea, but here's the thing I never understand...How can I make a move without ruining everything?! I want her so bad, but I don't want her to get all mad at me for trying to get closer, and then she won't talk to me or something.

 

you can't. relationships are a gamble. either she'll say yes, and you go out...or she'kll say no and you won't then she'll feel weird and won't be your friend...or she'll say no, and won't feel weird and still be your freind. how she'll react is how she'll react and theres not much you can do to change that. if you want to be her friend and don't want to take the risk, don't ask her out.

 

Well, I guess that girl wasn't the one anyway.

That sounds really great, man! That's what I would like, as well.

Hmm, as weird as it may sound, that could be a problem. Some girls don't appreciate that kind of stuff. I know many who would find that kind of "special treatment" annoying. However, some love that kind of thing. I guess you just have to try and figure out how she reacts to those kind favors.

Well, you've only known eachother for three weeks. Maybe she is a tad bit shy and needs some more time to warm up to you. Does she ever lie on your shoulder or anything? That's usually a good sign. If she strives to make physical contact, then you're probably doing well.

Haha, I don't even know why I'm replying! I'm the biggest loser around girls. Haha, you should probably never take my advice! However, I would suggest that you continue doing what you're doing now for a while longer and see what happens.

Man, I'm the SAME WAY! Really, unlike 99% of guys I know, I'm not looking for sex; I'm looking for true companionship.

Perhaps if you feel as though she REALLY is the one, you should come clean with her. Or perhaps, kind of hint around at it. Send her flowers and see what happens. Do something just for her and see what happens.

Once again, I'm rootin' for ya, Butters!

 

Dude, thanks so much Lucifer. Don't call yourself a loser man, you always help so much! I think you know more than you think...Seriously. Anyways, she seems to like the nice thing, because she's nice herself. Whenever I am nice, she always smiles and thanks me. The thing is, I've gotten really excited about her because girls never seem to like me. They always go for just the hot guys who just want to get drunk and fuck. I may not be "hot", but I don't look bad, and I certainly respect women and I actually don't drink at all. But she seems to really like me, but in the friend way. I'm sick of the friend thing, I just want a companion so bad, so I don't want to screw this up because an instance like this is rare for me. Its rare I can even get a girl to talk to me for some reason. Its wierd, saying this after only three weeks, but I would spend the rest of my life with her, that's how I feel. She's just perfect to me. If I screw this up by making a move and stuff, then I'm afraid I'll lose her and any shot of ever having a girlfriend, but if I don't make a move, then I'll lose my shot, too. I'm just so confused! So on that note, what do you think I should do?

 

Hmm, I say tell her. Tell her how you feel. If you don't, then you might feel this way forever. You never know, she might tell you that she feels the same way and you could end up having the absolute time of your life starting right now.

 

Maybe I will then. I'll have to think of exactly what to do, but maybe I should...Anyways, keep the advice coming, but, I have another question too. Why do girls seem to only like these asshole guys who drink all teh time and care only about sex and how big the girl's boobs are, while guys like me get screwed? I mean, if only a girl could finally realize that I would do anything to make her happy, and I just want to be their companion, but they never seem to. I'm so sick of getting absolutely no attention, and these total pricks get all of it. It just pisses me off so much, and I don't understand it one bit.

 

Heh, I wonder the same thing. I don't really understand it either. I like to think of myself as a nice guy, but I guess that's not good enough. You know what they say: "Nice guys finish last." I guess it's true...

 

as a girl, I think the reason that most girls go for the assholes is because they really don't know what they want in a guy yet. They want excitement and also they feel like they need to experiment, be it drinking or drugs-even sex. But this is not every girl. Every once in a while you'll find a girl who knows exactly what she wants. My advice: tell her how you feel and explain that you don't want to ruin your friendship if she doesn't feel the same way. It usually takes me about 6 weeks to figure out if I want to have a companionship with a guy, friend or a guy I am dating. I hope this helps you. Good Luck Butters!!

 

Thanks for the well-wishes! I sure hope this turns out well, I need this so bad. I just don't want to screw anything up, I just get so nervous! I mean, I wish there was a way to find out if she likes me or not, without messing anything up...

 

Well, things are statring to go downhill. It just figures, I guess I should be used to it by now. She didn't have roomate, and now her friend here is going to move-in with her. But her friend is this huge party-girl who drinks and all that shit all the time. That's not how she (the girl I like) is at all, but now her friend is kind of turning her that way I'm afraid. She even said at the beginning of the year that she wasn't going to be in a sorority or party or anything, and now, because this other girl is, she's going to also. Now I'm so afraid that she is going to start drinking alot and stuff, and then not ever hang around me, or worse, have something bad happen to her because of this. I'm just so sick of losing, I always do. Nothing in this subject ever goes my way, and now I'm afraid the one whom I feel I would be happiest with might leave, too. Is there anything I could do? I'm just so afraid of directly telling her...but I don't want to lose her either. Its just hard for me, I'm very in-experienced. I just really wanted this one to work out, think it still can?

 

I think you just need to tell her now. Don't let her get away, man. I see that as the only option now. Also, keep in mind that just because she may start drinking doesn't mean that she won't like you. But, yes, definitely go tell her... now.

 

all I have to say is don't be too nice, or too available.......you don't need to be around her every chance you get, leave her wanting more...also, leave a little mystery about yourself, don't go telling her everything about you.


i'm rooting for you too....you seem like a good person...relax, you will find someone eventually.......and remember that it IS a gamble, you've got to take it or leave it and not be too safe for your own good.

 

butters, butters, butters, you are such a sweetheart! What you have here is the perfect oppurtunity to grow! Doing something scary, is always a way to push and test your boundaries, and broken hearts birth beautiful souls. You've got the courage, just do it. Tell her how you feel! It seems to me that you've developed a friendship withher, let her know that that is the most important thing to you regardless of how she feels, and stick by that, if things don't work out right now, perhaps they'll work themselves out later. Let her know that your concerned about the way things have changed since her friend arrived. I'm not an expert, but I am female, and if I was in this situation, I would want the guy to take the steps that I'm sharing with you! Best of luck!

Namaste.

 

as a girl, I would say tell her how you feel, be sincere but... I don't know all girls are different, if it was me you were asking out I probably would want you to do it sweetly and sincerely, but don't go on and on about how you're in love or anything; if you are, maybe say so, but so many jerks say that to get into a girls pants.. the jerk pretending to be nice... so you might want to not go on about it. Make it short and sweet then see what she says. I'd say just don't smother her at this stage Good luck hun!

 

Awww, thanks so much guys, I appreciate all the kind words! Yea, I think that's what I'll try to do this weekend, even though I'll be scared out of my mind. Thanks for the input so much, I must sound pretty dumb asking all of this like I'm 12 or something... :& I'm just new to all of this!

 

I was reading your story here, butters and white ginger's advice here is the first thing that popped in my mind. It's like Samuel L in Pulp Fiction telling homegirl to be like the Fonz.... cool. From my experience, most girls don't like guys to come off sounding overly desperate, makes them think they're just looking for someone, but not *them* per se. Were it me, I'd just simply ask her out... it's true, she might freak out a little but you gotta take a chance sometime, and if anything, it'd seem that if she didn't say yes, you'd still remain friends as long as you left the subject alone... for a while

Regardless tho, you seem like a swell chap... and if this doesn't work out for ya, I'm sure good luck will find it's way to you soon.

 

Yeah, he definitely is a great guy! Butters will have no problems finding someone, I know it!

 

I somehow doubt that you will have problems. from every post I've read from you, you seem like a sweetheart and you're cute too