Hi peeps, I have been with my GF for about 2 years now when we first got together everything was perfect loads of sex cuddles and loads of fun and laughter. We moved in together 5 months after and have now moved to another place together, we have been trying for a baby and she has a few problems with concieving so that has stressed her out a bit. Lately she has gone off sex has no time and talks to me like dirt. I have questioned her on how she is and she states that she does not know she just feels depressed. Our sex life used to be great almost everynight and now its about 3 times a week only. I know you people are prob thinking 3 times a week is fine but she used to want it everyday and that suited me fine. I understand she is going through a tough patch and I am trying to be supportive but i feel she is falling out of love with me fast and I have done nothing wrong. I have questioned her if there is anyone else and she assures me there isnt she does work with loads of guys but I trust her but her recent behaviour has got my mind working overtime. Any thoughts on this or am I just being a muppet.!!! Thanks
if you wo want to be in a REAL trusting relationship, then you should show here that you trust her. And then, if there DOES happen to be another guy, she might see that you were better and more trusting and break up wit him o somethin.
It could be more than just "a bit". There may be an emotional disconnection if she feels like she is failing, and feels like she can't talk to you about her (or your) feelings. It may be helpful to see a counselor who has experience with couples coping with infertility. That's not always a good thing to do.
time to move on before she robs you of everything that makes you a man... knocking her up is the stupidest thing you could possibly do run for the fuckin hills....
Personally I wouldn't move in with someone else unless there was something keeping them down such as a marriage or even some kids that way neither one of you want to separate for the sake of the marriage or kids. But just her being your girlfriend she could get up one day and decide to just leave, leaving you with all the crap to deal with. Maybe she wishes you would have proposed by now or maybe she blames you for not being able to have a child when its clearly her fault. Who knows... But if you notice a sudden fall in the relationship it's either fix it fast or get the hell out fast.
Stop trying to get her pregnant! If you are going to be with her for the 18 years it takes to raise a child, you (both) shouldn't be looking for "loads of sex cuddles and loads of fun and laughter". You should be looking at each other's character, how you support each other in good times and bad (or not), and whether the other person meets your standards for "parent of my child". If you're not as interested in having a kid as she is, stop and get out! Don't saddle her with a kid and an absent father. If you are more concerned with how you feel than with how she feels. If you spend more time fantasizing about how she could make you happy than you do planning how you are going to make her happy, get out! If you are committed to her and the (future) kid(s). If you are going to be there for them (not for you), ask yourself if you see, by her actions, that she has that same kind of commitment. (Neither a well executed BJ nor a well worded explanation of her love for you is evidence of commitment.) Note the word "commitment" not "love". "Love" is written in flowery letters on a 15 year old's Valintine's card. Commitment is what keeps you doing the right thing, even when you don't want to. The kid hasn't asked to be there, doesn't get a choice, and needs you (not just your $). If caring for the kid isn't your #1 priority, wait until it is. Ask your self if she has the same kind of commitment. Ask yourself if you trust her to be there for you and the kid, no matter what. Ask yourself if you can live with her lifestyle habits (how important are dirty dishes) for the rest of your life. Ask yourself if she and you are the kind of parents that you want for your kids. If it all checks out. Buy a ring and ask her to marry you. Pay cash for the ring, if you can't afford a ring, you can't afford a family. If it doesn't check out, if some of the ingredients need "more cooking", STOP ! Wait until everything is in place, the commitment between the two of you, the financial needs, the prospect for a prosperous future. Wait for all the ingredients before putting a kid into the situation that the two of you have created. The kid deserves all of this, don't let let your child down.
Run. Don't look back. You aren't the problem, nor the solution. She want's a baby. That is all. You are who is supposed to pay for it. As there is no baby on the way, there is no need to be nice to you, nor fuck. Once a baby comes, there will be zero interest in being nice to you, and you will likely be given the shove. If you do separate and she magically becomes pregnant with 'your' baby months afterwards, get a DNA test. You are there for the fun, sex and love, but it sounds like she has another agenda that only involves you financially. Run.
Well if shes treating you like dirt, there is clearly a respect issue brother...try talking to her about this, and how you feel. If you guys are living together and have a developed relationship that should not be a problem and if it is, clearly somthing might be wrong. If you feel left out in a physical aspect of the relationship, thats also important to discuss as it will effect your emotions and will rub off on her. Communication is key to understanding relationships and the other person.
Well, she's not forced to attend to your sexual needs. Though, you're also not forced to stay with her. That being said, the moment someone is impolite toward me is the moment their ass gets dropped. I don't care who it is, or what kind of past we've had. That is a crystal clear boundary in all of my relationships from the very beginning; from bosses, to friends, to family, to lovers, to strangers. Unless, of course, she pulls out a fucking whip. Then, that's hot...
