How it could be possible for anything else to happen to me or if my life is going to get anymore fucked up... Because I certainly don't know what to think anymore. Not to be crude or dramatic, but I believe I feel like I just threw a needle at a goose and it magically went up it's ass... and I don't know what to think anymore. It's like... after all the shit that has happened to me, I'd probably expect something like that to happen anytime now. Or maybe John Denver will rise from the grave, move to nepal, and become a monk... This shit is unbelievable... I don't even believe it. I mean, you know how great things would be if everything that surrounded me or was part of me was just one great big-ass lie. It'd be a whole lot easier, wouldn't it. I wouldn't actually have to live anywhere or do anything, I could just make-believe. I miss that. I miss pretend. I miss having my head held underwater. I miss my grandparents... and everyone that was in my family. all the people I've known who have just up and left. So... that shot was for Noah and everyone else that has perished and made it to a better place somewhere so close, yet so far away... And it starts to make less and less sense as time goes on, man. I mean really. Eventually it just becomes one slap in the face after the other. It gets to the point where you have to ask yourself what there is to lose anymore. And whoever you are, I hope you have a wonderful Saturday night/Sunday morning.
What happened, love? I don't think I've ever been in a what-else-do-I-have-to-lose kind of situation before...I almost wish that I had, though. Despite that, I've got myself a fairly good shoulder, soaked but steady. You should send a PM, I'm worried.
Well, I may PM in a bit... I just am in a really emotionless right now and don't know what to make of things, so first, I shall chill for a moment. Least I'm not blind or something, but my head keeps reassuring myself it really wouldn't matter too much if I were, as much as I really don't want to feel that way or say that to y'all. Man, I need a couple extra days off and a tent. That's what I need... just drive off to the Appalachians with a map till I see something alluring. Or maybe Camp Ocean Forest would do.
you should take off then, getting a change of scenery will help i don't really know whats going on in your life so i don't really know what i could say, but i hope that everything gets better for you, you're still so young (as am i, i mean i'm not trying to sound all high and mighty or anything) but things do get better with time, i mean this is the life we are given and we just have to make it what we want ...as much as its hard to do sometimes this life is ours for the making and if outside forces bring you down you just gotta push back and if everything seems so devoid right now at least you can hold on to the hope that it can't get worse and theres only up from here i hope that things get better for you babe ~much love
I'm so ashamed of everything that I can't even begin... well I can... it's that I'm not sure if my ankle is ever going to be the same from the car accident, thursday before last... I've had the same damn Jason Aldean song on repeat for like three hours. I can't take it. I don't want to be here anymore.
first step change the song..to something extremely happy, something so happy its ridiculous at least you didn't die in the car accident, you still have time to let your ankle heal, if your time was up you wouldn't be here, so you still have life to experience why do you feel ashamed? you shouldn't, what happens, happens for a reason even if we don't like it you should take some time off, and just clear your head time some time off for yourself
just mean ol ma here... but yunz all gotta find the good through all the shit......the shit never ceases flowing,,,, its part of life,,,, we just gotta wade through it all n make it all smell like roses.........seems impossible but it aint really... when we sift through all things no matter how awful they seem there are good tidbits from those experiences,,,, it may seem difficult at first... cuz it is,,,we think bullshit aint no good coming from my losin me leg or momm dying or cancer or whatever you have to insert here... but there is,,,, search for it.... once you learn to do that you begin to realize that it aint so bad afterall which in turn overtime leads to a lil bit different outlook on the ever deepening shit,,,, (yes it gets worse ... sorry) and its work to not become wrapped in the its a horrible life syndrome especially when it seems to be engulfing you like a giant squid n ya just wanna let go n let it squeeze the life outta ya as you slowly drown,,,,,,,, seems like a great option til ya actually begin gasping for air n that itself is a bit of a will to go on,,,,,,, taking the good rather than negative aint easy,,,, i fall to the pity me monster even now as an ol ma but i learn from absolutely everything along the way n just hope that my shit filled life leads me in the direction of the roses........just through visualization of positive and throwing the good out to the world round you,,,, it really does come back atya,,,,, we just dont realize it at the time often times,,,,
For a young man, you've got a good head on your shoulders. Hey I admit, I've probably never spoken to you, or you to me, but hell, you've made 30K posts and it's hard not to notice that you've got a lot of commonsense, intelligence and maturity for a 16-year-old. Might be a good time to embrace these strengths within yourself.
