Well, here's the deal... My girlfriend went out on a Erasmus student exchange program to a different country. Distance has its toll on people and yes, she cheated on me once. The problem would seem simple to solve, dump her then and there. However something puzzles me why did she actually tell me. According to her, she couldn't bare looking me in the eyes and lying to me, making any sort of solid building on a shaking floor. She has been crying her eyes out to me over skype for hours and hours. The moment that I couldn't bare to see anymore, she kept telling me that I only need to give her one chance and that I'm her one and only love. -THE- love. She has been quite manipulative over the 3 and a half years but I'm not sure whether this is a desperate cry for me not to leave her. Telling me anything I want to hear just to stay. I told her that we're no longer a couple, but that if she so wishes, I will try not to block myself away from her entirely, giving her a incredibly slight chance to redeem herself. If this would be a simple relationship, I wouldn't put that much thought into it, I wouldn't feel sick each time I thought about it and I wouldn't have broken my arm by punching it into a tree. I was already planing how I would ask her to marry me and was already saving up for an engagement ring. So yeah, this is my (probably usual) story. She cheated on me, she's clinging onto me with all she's got and crying her eyes out. I'm at a loss. Advice :|?
Doesn't weed simply make you feel depressed if you're already in a shitty mood? I'm in a really horrible place right now, but I don't want to jump under a train.
i cant say anything for sure, because i didnt know her this past 3 years nor talked to her... you know, so this is what i think i say, you take a better look at these last 3 years you say she was very manipulative i think youre the best one to tell if she was manipulative enough to the point of this not being a desperate cry not for you not to leave her
i find that if i am in a shitty mood, weed brings me out of it if i stay in a shitty mood and i keep smokin weed - it becomes the weed that keeps me down
By saying that, I meant that for example when we get into fights, she makes it happen so that I'm the one who has to apologize even though she started the fight, that I'm the one who has to back down on my principles. And now, when what I believe is at a higher priority than what I feel, she's asking me to back down on it one last time.
The cheating is bad but the real problem i see here is the sentence above. Anyone that manipulates their partner doesn't see them as an equal, and if its been going on that long see this cheating incident as a perfect opportunity to let her go. You said that's shes been crying on skype which leads me to believe she's still in a different country, if that's the case i would suggest letting the air clear but staying broken up at least until she returns. Obviously you care about her enough to plan and even save up for an engagement, but if you realize now that the trust is gone you're saving yourself some heartache and time in the future by letting her go. Good luck man, hope ya figure out something that leaves ya happy in the long run. My $.02
I understand u love her and that she was away when it happened but the fact that she cheated is at least a red flag she holds her needs above ur relationship
Just got the bullzeye.. Yes, at some point, I did notice that I was a sort of a lap-dog and that I was so madly in-love that I couldn't see it. She only needed to snap her fingers and she had whatever she wanted. I wanted to make her the happiest woman alive, yet she sort of.. used me.. I still blame it on myself for pampering her and not being the man that I am, putting the foot down. In a sense, that's where I felt that I slipped in this relationship. When it comes to trust and forgiveness, I'll never in my life forgive her for what she did and gaining my trust is incredibly difficult. I literally have no idea what would she have to do to gain it back because each time she goes out and parties, gets drunk, I'll think that she's cheating on me again.
dude if i were you i would try to move on until she comes back to your country. i wouldn't waste time over the internet with her. take the time away from her to let yourself think through it don't try to make things conditional, don't think "well she saaaid it was like *blah blah blh*" just go through your own process of forgetting about her until she's home - you'll probably come to terms in yourself that's me
That's basically the idea.. But knowing me, if I won't be over her by the time she's back, I might just get down right soft.
Unless he drugged her no it doesn't. I dunno u see my post y'all all know I loves the sex but if I give myself to someone I'm there's and I don't cheat because I wouldn't want that to happen to me drunk or sober its just not an option. If she really loved u she wouldn't have done it and don't u deserve someone who loves u enough to consider ur feelings before they make a descission like that
U gotta do what feels right for u but from the outside looking in I see a girl who is striving to discover herself on her own not marriage material
Eh.. I might've rushed with the engagement thing.. We're both just 21, but she found out what I was planing (even though that the plan was to keep saving up for another 15 months) she burst into tears screaming why did she ruin it.
