Coming Out At Work

Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by db8rgrl, Feb 23, 2006.

  1. db8rgrl

    db8rgrl Member

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    I would like to know what people think about coming out at work.

    1) did your sexual orientation influence your job choice? Have you decided to pick a particular industry because you perceived it to be more gay-friendly?

    2) Would you come out at work even if your employer/coworkers might react badly to your disclosure?

    3) If your state has protections for discrimination, would you be more likely to come out at work?

    Answer my survey at
    http://unspecified.net/survey
    which will statistically determine the relation between wage and disclosure.

    Responses are confidential and cannot be linked to participants since NO personally identifiable information is solicited. This research has been approved by the Institutional Review Board (which regulates ethical research on human subjects).

    Thanks in advance for your help.
     
  2. mushie18

    mushie18 Intergalactic

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    there is no need for me to come out at work.
     
  3. Night_Owl49

    Night_Owl49 Since 2006

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    If I had a job I might think about it.
     
  4. SageDreamer

    SageDreamer Senior Member

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    I work at a university where discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is not permitted. The city we are in also forbids such discrimination. I'm open to a few of my coworkers.

    When I deal with coming out questions, it's a matter of whether coming out or being gay has anything to do with the situation.

    Universities are generally more gay-friendly than many employers, but that wasn't why I chose the field.
     
  5. db8rgrl

    db8rgrl Member

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    Thanks so much to all who participated in the survey. I've shut down the website, and I'll post the results when I'm through.
     
  6. SelfControl

    SelfControl Boned.

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    Well, in the name of continuing the thread: I've had a number of jobs where I have been "out" or "in". I've always taken the attitude that if no-one asks I don't tell them, so it largely depends on the kind of job I do as to whether anyone asks. But I'd say in recent years I've avoided the issue as much as possible within the boundaries of polite conversation.

    I figure, like a lot of people, that my sex life is pretty irrelevant to my job. But more than that, when you start a job you are spending a significant portion of your life with people of whom you have little prior knowledge. Because of this, it's likely that there will be a fair few people who, given the choice, you would not spend that much time with, for whatever reason. But you don't have that option, so you try and make the best of the situation. You know little or nothing about people's attitudes and views, but you do know that if their attitudes and views don't fit with your own, there's not a great deal you can do.

    With that in mind, it's just a lot easier to work if people know as little as possible about you, be it your sexual orientation, lifestyle, hobbies, music taste, whatever. I've worked with people who've found homosexuality either highly amusing or offensive, and while they're generally civil about it, since it's so irrelevant to my job I don't see any reason to make it an issue.
     
  7. txbarefooter

    txbarefooter Senior Member

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    I work with a bunch of right-wing conservative homophobes so coming out is not an option. I also agree with SelfControl that it is a lot easier to work a job if people know as little as possible about you.
     
  8. De Sade

    De Sade Member

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    Ones job has nothing to do with their sexuality..keep your private life to yourself and dont wear your sexual preference on your sleeve. Straight Bi or Gay, you'll find it will take you much further in life with little hassle..the same goes for ones politics and religion as well.
     
  9. SelfControl

    SelfControl Boned.

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    Well, I don't know about that. But even if it does, no-one should ever be obliged to state aspects of their personal life without being asked.
     
  10. jehryn

    jehryn Member

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    I work at a call center and never has the question ever been asked about my sexual preference. I find it better to stay away from that topic and to have normal conversations and make friends then to have people talking about your sexual preference behind your back. If you tell one person, they will tell other people and those people will tell other people.. its all a stack of dominoes.
     
  11. qqcom

    qqcom Member

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    I just refer to a boyfriend or whathaveyou as matter of fact
     
  12. The_Warden

    The_Warden Member

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    Hello There.
    Well I virutally came out at work within a matter of moments i walked in and said Hi you lot.. Im 504 the new Parking Attendant im gay and if you dont like it then sod ya all... It wasnt that drastic but along that line.. They all accepted it and were fine and i found out a new PA is gay as well.... Never knew that!!!!

    Half my work force are gay so its pretty open

    ?Greg
     
  13. zpiper

    zpiper Member

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    Ahahah well i work in a kitchen with some really butch straight woman...and I'm extremely girly comparitively... so they didn't know until my girlfriend picked me up from work ...they don't seem to bothered though
     
  14. Comfortably Numb

    Comfortably Numb Member

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    Why come out at work? So you can be proud of who you are and feel comfortable sharing your life with others.


    I work and have worked for corporate America for several years... not my ideal career choice, but you have to do what you have to do.

    I have been out for 7 years and at each job I have had since then, i've come out. It made me feel a lot better and no one ever treated me any different than the did before they found out.

    Coming out, whenever and wherever you can, is freeing.
     
  15. SelfControl

    SelfControl Boned.

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    If it was a job I liked, and which I expected to be doing for a long time, I think I'd feel better for it. I still wouldn't announce it to the whole office or anything, but I think it'd just make life a little less stressful if you knew everyone else knew and was okay with it. If it's just a clockwatching job that you do for the money, I guess that'd be different, but if it's a career, it's as much a part of your life as your home time, surely.
     
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