so i have this stuffed dog holding a cupcake thing, it's white and looks kind of like a bunny. and a few nights ago i caught him dancing in a top hat. i started out just seeing movement out of the corner of my eye. my door was completely closed, so i knew it couldnt have been the cat, but i didn't really care. then i saw the movement out of the corner of my eye again, but when i looked he was standing up, fucking dancing like the peanut man. he wasn't holding a cupcake, he was holding a peanut man cane. i stared right at him and watched for a few seconds, and as soon as i realized stuffed animals don't dance and i couldnt be seeing what i was seeing, he stopped. i swear i'm not lying or exaggerating in the slightest, it scared me totally shitless. i'm probably going insane! or i have a posessed toy. just thought you all'd like to know
Well,according to the Cornish journal, Excorsisms and Definitions of Ancient Dancing Manifestations circa 1864,London Press (Piffle and sons,ltd) authored by sir Ivor Biggun,the antidote thus follows,that 'the victim must remain calm at all times.The recipient of such inconveniencies has in some past event (possibly during a sufficient intake of soft narcotics) invoked a 'canine' manifestation.The spirit of which may inhabit any suitable recipient to hand.The appearance of a 'dancing dog' may be due to sexual inactivity on the part of an uninhibited female of sado masachistic persuation (unchartered in some regions of the globe) thus the victim is advised to partake in a ritual consisting of an ancient coupling in which upon entering a chalk drawn circle upon the ground,one suitably fertile erect male of bohemian origin in taking the female in his arms,chants the legend 'dancing hound,dancing hound,thy inner sanctum must be found,be I mad,or be I wise,the way for me's between your thighs' and upon reaching climax the female then bites the neck of the male and emitts a high pitched wailing sound (as recorded on the indian ocean by sailors aboard the 'cods wollop',1734) followed by a long string of appropiate expletives.Upon completion of the ritual an oak pipe is smoked and a band of mistrels enter the circle to perform songs from the 'All ye freewheelin' gypsies' The above may work for some upon the first transaction but I'd reccommend a repetition of these instructions at least 10 - 11 times per evening. .....Hope this helps!!! .
