First off, apologies if this the wrong place to post this or if I shouldn't really be posting here specifically...I couldn't really find a forum out there specifically for partners of bisexual people that are posted on regularly enough, and I'm not sure if this one is intended to be open to everyone or just people who are bi themselves... I'm actually a straight guy in college, dating a fellow student who considers herself bisexual. We've been going out since April but things have tended to move very slowly...on one of our dates she explained to me that she wans to take things slowly and that she's dealing with confusion due to being bi which seems to be largely why she wants to take it slow to begin with. She explained also that she isn't sure she feels a real connection beyond friendship yet and she didn't want to lead me on. I hadn't known beforehand that she's bi, and the next time we met up I asked her if it was hard to share it with me and she said that yes it was...she doesn't share it with many people. We've agreed to keep taking it slowly for now and I really do love spending time with her. And just for the record, I'm definitely very bi and gay friendly and open-minded. So I guess I have a couple questions for advice: 1. Most importantly, how do I help make her feel more comfortable with it and maybe foster that connection as well? I really want her to feel that I'm fine with her being who she is and in the long run (depending on where this goes) I'd definitely want for her to feel comfortable with who she is as well. And of course I would ultimately want her to feel a stronger (i.e. more romantic) connection with me, and I'm not sure yet if I understand how her orientation might become a barrier in that. So basically, any advice or insight? 2. I have to admit it's a slight concern for me that she could be lesbian and confused...again I'm gay-accepting, but at the same time there wouldn't be much point in me dating a girl who just isn't attracted to men. She did say too (since I asked her) that she sometimes thinks she's more attracted to women, but ultimately she does think she is attracted to both. Is it common for people who are gay/lesbian to think they are bi for a while? Or is it more likely she really is bi? I'd certainly have no problem dating and/or being in a realtionship with a bisexual girl. Thanks for any help...and again apologies in advance if this isn't the right place.
It is very common for gays and lesbians to first consider themselves bi before becoming gay/lesbian. You must give her time to find out what she really wants, she will give you mixed messeges all the time probably and will have a difficult time with this. If she really is bi and wants you, then there is no problem. If she is a lesbian, then you have a problem. However, she might just be curious...
to be frank and to the point. Ditch her! She isn't intrested in you and doesn't have the balls for lack of a better word to jus say it. That and even if she does..you need to tell her to figure out what side of the fence she wants to play on before dealing with her further. Unless you jus wanna deal with a bunch of non-stop drama and issues that stem from this! Plenty of girls will like you for who you are and appreciate you being all man. So I say ditch her and dont waste your time on trying to change someone. It wornt work anyhow and it will jus fuck you up if you get more involved!
I agree, if she got into the relationship, but is questioning being in it, she already doenst plan on being in it long... you'll be the one hurt in the long run... she might actually have a relationship currently with a female and doenst know how to tell you or something, if she had a hard time telling you she's bi, the she might have a hard time just plain being open with you... I'd give her the "lets be friends speach" and move on bud.
well, i'm actualy married to 2 bi girls 1 of wich thought she was a lesbian till she met me & realized she was bi i suggest that you realize that the female female bonds different from the malke female bond & isnt a threat to your relationship if she explores her sexuality let her know that its ok to feel the things she feels & explore them without jealousey (as long as shes being sensative & careful about it & how it could affect u as well) you'll grow more together as she discovers herself & becomes more confortable with who she is & dude unless u just started dating, shes not the 1st bi girl youve dated only the 1st to start questioning it...or at least being open & honnest about it she odviosly trusts u since your open minded, so be open minded & allow her to discover herself in the end youll have a more honnest well rounded & complete understanding of eachother & what u might share good luck
