Dealing with being cheated on

Never in my life has this happened, or at least never had I known of it.

I have a very good memory, and this girl I've been seeing past 5 months after being engaged with my ex-fiance for a year, I had several times thought she was cheating on me.

So the fact she finally admitted it was not a shock, but after the dust settles ( this was sunday ), it becomes very hard to deal with.

I was talking with a friend yesterday about it, relaxed a bit, and talked with a girl I met a couple of weeks ago and got a date thursday.

But still, the fact a woman cheated on me I just don't know.

I found out the guy, there's nothing that spells cheating, I would acknowledge a better looking guy with more money maybe, but he's in no way better.

The way this has come about is because I do not call a girl every day in a relationship, not my thing, and I have been going to tennis tournaments this year since May and due to training and not having distractions I often go a week without seeing the girl.

So by timeline, she had the opportunity, but still the fact she took it is very discouraging.

 

So, she was all alone, not getting calls, and someone made her feel wanted. Honestly, I'm really sorry you went through this. I hope this new girl works out for you.

 

I feel like a lot of times you ask, am I less of a man, am I not good enough? But the truth is my brother girls cheat for all sorts of reasons but I would say cheating because the other guy is "better" is the minority. Girls like attention, especially when they are lacking a little from their SO. I'm sure all it took was him saying a few nice words and her being a habitual cheater (I'm sure this is not the first time for her). Roll along and don't worry, the guy could have been a little overweight, an IQ of 50, and losing his hair and given the right opportunity probably would have still happen.

 

Best way to deal with it: gratitude.

When she was down and lonely, he took the time and trouble to try to make her feel better. And though you were too busy to keep her emotionally and physically satisfied, she still found a way to address her needs without ending your relationship. She did, after all, come back to you, probably because she loves you.

Had you been having sex with someone else, too? If not, maybe that's the part that you really feel bad about. But that's not her fault.

 

Gotta agree with all that but it sounds as if it was one of those "exclusive relationships". Gotta hurt in that case I guess.

 

Sounds as if he had thought it was, but it really wasn't.

Clearly, he misunderstood. I know I run the risk of sounding jaded, here. But I do believe that people should rely only upon their own being, thoughts and actions for their happiness.

 

Got to agree with that.:cheers2:

 

Excuse me?

I made it very clear I didn't condone open relationships and that I wasn't what I was into with her.

This isn't acceptable behavior for me, I didn't sleep with other women and I damn well could have but I believed in my relationship with her.

 

Well if your that bitter, grab a hush puppy and take them both out for a drive.

I don't buy that shit about a girl not being able to suffer, it seems that their life can end.

Doesn't sound that your to happy with the new date, doesn't sound like she is going to kill the old girl.

It takes me YEARS to get over the last one, they just pile up the damage.

 

Yeah, think you missed what we were saying there. Have another read.

 

Being cheated on sucks. I'm trying to stay in a relationship where I've been cheated on and I'm still taking it pretty hard. Hopefully, things will get easier in time.

 

Metalgypsy...try to stop looking at it as something he or she did to you. You have no more involvement in that sexual act or acts than you wish to imagine, after the fact, that you have.

 

I don't think anyone can control how they see life, but you can resist how you react....it's so easy to shut yourself in.

 

I don't condone cheating for any reason. Yes people have needs, but there's an easier way than to hurt your partner by expriencing them with someone else. Talk, if that doesn't work, then the relationship is no good I'm afraid, cheating is WRONG!

 

Agreed:cheers2:

 

Yes I don't see the point myself.

She told me she didn't want to lose me, but I told her you can't have both, only one.

Anywho I am moving on, but that shit stings.

 

i'm sorry to hear you're going through that...

 

it seems that she probably did that because she wasn't getting enough attention, but she should have communicated that to you instead of cheating on you. maybe she did, you didn't really say. maybe you are over it by now, its been a few weeks and you were only together for what did you say, 5 months? i was cheated on 2 years ago, decided to stay with my boyfriend, but i gotta say, it still hurts, and it's still there in the back of mind, and when i think about it i still feel a little sick. it's a really hard thing to get over, if you decide to stay together, so it's probably a good thing you got out.

 

You call it love, but you are ready to metaphorically knife them if they have sex with or are intimate with someone else.

Its immature, selfish and egotistical and you are not really going to grow up until you are truly honest with yourself as to why you get so jealous

 

I feel sorry for what happened to you, and my suggestion for you is be a gentleman.
1. first apologize for lacking of attention in the past
2. congrat her for finding someone that would fit her needs.
3. thank her for all the good time that she gave to you.

Trust me, it is always cool and it hurts less on your side.