staring at the cealing the lights are all out i can think cant move or breathe its all unreality to me despair washed over me i cant remember when but now it seems as though its always there lurking in my soul splitting through my heart darkness covering my mind why am i living this life its just causing more pain every time i get close to someone someone i should be able to love no matter who they are every time it gets screwed up and theyre fucking gone again im alone and no one cares left here in my hell that they say is my home while she drinks herself to death i wish itd happen sooner so i could be free but no shes alive and ready to hit me again so how do i disappear this time every time i find someone someone who could love me they get snatched from me so im alone again i dont know maybe im not meant for love maybe i should just go on in my darkness alone in despair until i eventually die or kill myself maybe thats better i just dont know anymore
Hey FMC, You put a lot of emotion in your work. I really like this poem, especially the line You remind me a lot of the sheer desperation I felt in my family home when I was 16. It was die or get out, for me. I got out. I got my own place. Things have never seemed so bad since then. Keep writing..... Peace, Aidan.
depression if its the chronic type you're talking about is very uncool ... i've been there done that and got the tee shirt .... tried, unsuccessfully thankfully to end it all in a car ... the only people who can understand what you're going through are the ones who've hit the wall ... the rest just keep saying things like "pull yourself together." hang in there sweetie.
