Desperately wanting to explore, but how do I tell my GF?

Hello all,

As per title really... I'll give you a bit of back story.

First of all, up until the below (you've all heard this before...) I considered myself "straight". Only ever being attracted to women.

I've been "curious" (you may have guessed that) for a while now... it all started for me with watching T-girl porn, couple of/few years back. At first it was an occasional thing... It'd get me really hot, then I'd feel somewhat guilty and ashamed for it.

Then, after a while, more thoughts and fantasies creep in... Thoughts about sucking cock.

I have also always had a thing for high heels (very hot on women) and have now got 4 pairs, probably 10 pairs of various stockings, then bras etc etc. So yeah, I like to get dressed up too. I love this in combination with my TS fantasies... and this progressed into having fantasies of sucking cock and then getting topped whilst dressed.

Probably halfway through all this I got in a relationship with my girlfriend. Now, don't get me wrong, I love her, love having sex with her etc. I just can't shake this craving for sucking cock. It never really seems to go away. It started just a little thing in the back of my mind... now it's constant, and I can't get horny without it taking over.

Now at this point I should point out, the feelings of guilt and shame have gone... Couldn't care less. I am what I am, if that means I watch t-girl porn in high heels and suck cock, so be it. Life, in my opinion, is too short for labels and holding yourself back.

So, now we get to the point... thanks for still reading. I don't know what to do. I love my girlfriend. I really want to try some cock... I've thought about just trying it, in a moment of weakness... I've spoken to people online, but when it comes down to it never gone through and arranged a meet. It's because I'm not the sort of person to cheat. Although my urges really do their best to override my morals...

So, what do I do? I love my girlfriend, I know she really loves me. Does anything for me... she's very open minded about most stuff. She's also very sexual and open minded about that. (We've done anal, played with butt plugs etc (both of us)). However, she's very against threesomes etc (it came up when my mate was talking about it and I spoke to her) and said "she wouldn't like that" (me being with someone else).

So, any advice? I mean, I don't want to lose her... but also feel myself getting more and more down, uncertain about the future because of this... she wants to move in for instance, but this is a big reason I wouldn't (she doesn't even like me watching normal porn...). I also don't want to not explore this, and regret it later in life when I've missed so much.

Sorry for the essay, but thanks for reading. If feels better to actually put this out there, even if it is on a board.

Any and all help much appreciated

 

Been speaking to someone online...

:drool5:

Sooo hard to not go through with this...

Dammit, why do I have to be in a happy relationship :juggle:

 

i understand how u feel, i want 2 try it myself. i enjoy pantyhose 2 so 2 experience this as a bottom while n my hose would b fun. my wife knows of my curiosity as well a guy friend who wants 2 get involved but dont c it happening.