Do I Have a Right to Be Upset?

I wasn't sure whether to put this in this forum or a drug related one but here goes...


My boyfriend just moved into his dorm last Friday. I guess a few days before he left he tried heroin for the first time...After he said he'd never do that. But really, that isn't what upset me. What upset was that he never told me he was planning or that he even did it. You have to understand that the drug thing doesn't bother me. Everything that he tries, I usually try it with him. I'm a very understanding person when it comes to experimenting, and I always thought that we could tell eachother about those kind of things. Also, just a couple days ago I was told by his friend that tried it with him that he did it. That's how I found out. After hearing that I felt hurt and I called him to see if it was true. He then lied to me and told me it wasn't and he swore on our love and relationship that he didnt do it....But he did. Yesterday I got him to tell me the truth. He doesn't understand why I'm upset. Do I have reason to be? Not because of him trying it, but for him not being open and honest with me when he knows that I would accept it and not get angry....Just I want some opinions...Thank you guys.

 

Of course you have a right to be upset! if he said he wasn't and he decided to go back on what he said(lie) to you, then yes, you have every right to be sad. I think he wanted to do something for himself, but he didn't know how to go about telling you he wanted to. What i thik is that you need to have a deep heart felt convo with him about how he is feeling and why he did it. it will help im guessing!~

 

Heroin is a highly addictive substance that can radically change the person using it. If I was seeing someone and she started using heroin I'd look at it as a potential deal breaker ESPECIALLY if I had been promised that she'd never use it.

 

yesterday when he gave up lying about it, he told me that it really anything good and that he had no intention of doing it again. and herion was something that cause a lot of problems in my family so i know how addictive it is. i hope he keeps to his word and doesn't do it again.

 

good! drugs are bad(except for the occasional joint)-

 

i'm not really down on all drugs. like i said it wasn't really the fact that he did it that upset me...i've tried a lot of different things with him. that's kind of why im so upset that he didnt think he could tell me about that.

 

i was going to say he's a dick for lying about it, but after this revelation, he may be justified. obviously you would rather he didn't do it because of your own family problems, so if he wanted to give it a try then i can understand why he would want to hide it, even just to protect your feelings. if it happens again though, he's an asshole

 

i know what you mean and i thought about it like that too...and if i didn't approve of his drug use or experimentation i would understand...but he knows he can tell me about that kind of stuff because normally i'm right along side him trying shit all of the time. so i understand trying stuff...in fact tonight we both just tried E together. i don't really know where i'm going with this...hahah. sorry. but yes thank you for taking the time to give me your feelings on this. [= i appreciate it.

 

You have a right to feel anyway that you want, anything that you want. If you feel upset (which most of us would)..FEEL IT! Theres nothing wrong with it. Roll around in it for awhile. Betraying your trust is bullshit! He's opened up Pandoras box with this...cuz now..how do you trust anything he says? If you love him, youre in for a wild ride baby...if he's gonna lie...cuz you probably won't leave him...not until he hurts you enough anyway...I hope it all works out for you though...maybe it was a one time thing...but to me..if someone says they love me...they naturally think of me first, consider my feelings, and how their actions will affect me...definately don't lie to my face...Just remember...He's the one whos supposed to have your back-not stab you in it....

 

Yes you have the right to be upset. When i would lie to my boyfriend he would find out, ask me, and then i would lie again. Then he would finally get the truth out of me and i wouldnt even say to him that he doesnt have the right to be mad at me because he does and if he wants to ignore me or whatever then i let him do his thing because i know that i hurt him a lot. Just warn him once and tell him that you wont be mad if he tells the truth because a lot of times people think lieing doesnt the ones they love the most but really it hurts them more. Once you let him know that he wont be scared to tell the truth. Thats my opinion.

 

You have a right to be mad because he lied, i know what you mean you just want them to be honest with you. good luck with it