do you speak english?

do you speak english or american?

or american english?

are you an amercian that speaks american?
or an american that speaks english? [badly]

 

I'm a person who happens to live in England, who speaks English with a lot of colloquialisms and non-standard grammatical variables.

 

I'm an American who speaks my own form of dialect combined with Spanglish, Southern English, "Yankee" English, and a bit of English English slang. I'm unique.

But if I need to, I can write perfectly correct, by the books English. I just choose to write in my own style.

 

Clover, I keep seeing your posts all over the place, and I have to say that you are possibly the most annoying person I've ever come across on the Internet. You're such a fucking pain in the ass, words are useless. If I was your father, I'd put you over my knee and give your fat pseudo-intellectual ass a real tanning. Jesus H. Christ, are you a phoney.

"My grandfather is a millionaire"
"I speak a million languages!"
"I'm going to be a big soul-less lawyer earning six figures!"
"I like school!"
"I have a high IQ"
"I think I'm great because I repeat shit I've overheard!"
"I won't even look at a man who hasn't gone to some Ivy League cuntfactory!"
"I have an opinion on everything!"
"I want to be Secretary of State"
"I'm Jewish, isn't that great?!"
"Since I'm rich and well-educated it only makes sense for me to get into politics!"
"I've had sex twice, and the guys never cared to get me off... could this be because I'm a fat piece of shit?"
"Despite my amazing education, I'm always going on about star signs and all that crap that only stoner losers pay any attention to!"
"Woo! I'm an intellectual elitist!" (Whatever that means!"
"Because I'm going to earn more money than everyone else, that makes me better!"
"Money is important"
"If money had a cock, I would suck that badboy all day"


FUCKING HELL! GIVE IT A REST ALREADY! IF YOU WERE HALF AS GREAT AS YOU MAKE OUT, YOU'D BE OFF CURING CANCER OR ELIMINATING THIRD-WORLD HUNGER, YOU WOULDN'T BE WASTING ALL YOUR TIME ON SOME FUCKING SHITTY INTERNET FORUM!

FUCK YOU!

____

Sincere apologies to anyone else who read that.

 

I'm an American who speaks Slang depending on what racial group is prevalant where I am.

 

No habla inglesa.Habla Estates Unidos.

 

The language is called English
American is a dialect

 

I don't know, the lines are rather blured

Same here

I don't believe Americans who claim to speak English. They just think they do, but it's true we are two nations seperated by a common language.

I have in the past humored people by using American terms, shall do this no longer. It would be to deny my own language, and hey no one seems to return the favour.

Silverclover: LOL that's one of the most fucking pretentious things I've ever read.
Sure you're unique, sweetie, just like everyone else

 

bullys... everywhere... i go.. pointless picking on other people... the thing is its just so revealing about the bullier... just remember the times it was difficult to express yourself, and then allow people to express themselves without arbitration.. for crying out loud...

 

very well done HoldenC

 

I've ranted about the American language so many times, people would think i actually enjoy it. Well I suppose I do enjoy yank-bashing in general. Whether it's about what they've done to the language, they're silly sports, or George Fucking Bush.

Trouble is they did give us a few things like Charlie Parker and The Simpsons for example, so you've got to learn to live with the cunts.

 

I thought 'americans' spoke how us 'brits' spoke a few hundred years ago along with a few influences on the way obviously... If your talking about 'proper' english not many of us speak that way anymore innit.

 

I speak the kind of English you learn at school here with a German accent (I guess).

 

I like that kind of english.. mine is so dull Midlanders supposedly have the least 'corrupted' speach in the UK..probably a load of ******** but anyway, i am thankfuly wonderfuly exciting though ...(and modest)

 

Wrong. Proper english is simply standard english, with the standard being set by London and the home counties. The Queen's English, if you will. We don't speak like Chaucer or Shakespeare and neither do the yanks. So what?

It's perfectly clear that the American language has had a reform, either intentionally or through mistakes that have gone uncorrected and found their way into the American dictionaries. You can see this in the way that in America pronunciations and spellings have been changed in order to match each other. For example, proper nouns like Derby, Berkely, Warwick, Worcester, in America are pronounced as they are spelt. it's true that words such as Colour and Centre in English have had influence from French, but then let me remind you which is the older language and French has influenced English long before America was colonised. Fact is that those place names date back to long before the USA got going and are derived from the traditional way we pronounced words. Listen to a posh bloke from England (like Prince Charles for example) pronounce words like 'heard' and 'burn' and what you'll hear is 'hard' and 'barn', and Berkshire and Derby have broken everyone else's pronunciation too. If that's not traditional, I don't know what is. As for other names such as Wymondham and Chalmondley well it's pretty obvious what's happened there. Across centuries of speech the pronunciations have evolved but the spelling stays the same simply because when things get written down they are more or less protected from change. That's what happens with languages unless they have a reform. It makes perfect logical sense though, you just have to use a bit of nous and also know a bit about the languages that influenced it. This is where yanks come unstuck, because all they ever learn is Spanish. What they really need to learn to understand things is Latin and Greek which can be found in all the modern European languages in some way or another. Even German, which uses little latin vocabulary but an awful lots of Latin constructions.

But one of my BIGGEST pet hates in the American language has absolutely NOTHING whatsoever to do with reforms of language or influences from outside or sticking to the traditional ways of speaking. Yes, you may have guessed, I'm talking about adverbs. Americans don't have them. Well they do, but they use the same words as their related Adjectives. It drives me up the wall.

And another thing, also putting spellings and accents aside, is the meanings of words. Americans have taken derived meanings out of their contexts and made them the primary meanings of words. The biggest examples of this that come to my mind are Mad (which they use to mean angry), and Smart (which they use to mean clever). It's quite clear how this has happened "you're driving me mad", well if something is driving you mad then it must also be making you very angry. "You look smart", you look well dressed, presentable, you give the impression of clearly knowing your stuff. Or "that's a smart move", - for example, in a game of chess, a tidy efficient series move played with finesse shows that the person who played them must be intelligent. But if it's that clear, how come the Americans don't realise it themselves?

There're also a couple of phrases that have crept in recently that really get up my tits. First of all "I could care less". Yanks say this when what they mean is "I couldn't care less". Think about it for a second. If one could care less then one must care a finite amount. I could care less about a lot of things. That's nothing unusual. It's when I couldn't care less about something that is worth mentioning.

Substitution of "to be like" for "to say". I get infuriated by this and tend to take the piss by making it transitive "the other day I ran into an old mate and I was being like to him how it's been so long since i last saw him" just because I find it so bloody ridiculous.

"Like I said." Jazus, don't people know the difference between Like and As? Dear oh dear oh dear.

And of course the spelling of Definitely. Even in America it's not correct to spell it with an A, but due to their twisted accents, people are visualising an a in the word as they hear it, and so are accepting an a in the word when they see it written down.

 

i don't like that either 'could care less'

I understand what your saying but it is a bit pompouse to think they can't do whatever they like to a language..don't we do it all the time. How many 'english' words are not english at all..give those guys a break.. we have bastardized (is that with a s or a zee ) the language and the spellings because it is 'ours' are you saying all is forgiven. If some says 'you do the math' to me though and is not american i have to restrain myself.

Realy my english is so god damn awful ..many of these things slip me by..

 

well that's one I'll let them have, if they can only do one operation at a time then I suppose it makes sense for them to call it math.

English is OUR language though. It's becoming the international language, which is all well and good. But it's been corrupted by Americanisms on film, telly and the internet, which is why foreigners find it so easy to learn because it's all around them. People go on about how foreigners are so good at learning languages and the English aren't. That's not EXACTLY true. Foreigners are good at learning English, and we in the United Kingdom are also very good at learning English. I think you'll find though that Foreigners are no better at learning other foreign languages than we are. It's simply because other languages not all over the telly and the internet and aren't forced into everyones faces everywhere they look. So a lot of foreigners are learning English incorrectly, except for the Germans (bless them!) it seems.

oh and another thing. A billion has twice the order of magnitude as a million. that's why it's called a BIllion. How the HELL do you apply the number 2 to to a million and arrive at a thousand million? It just can't be done. Just that yanks like to be called billionaires it seems.

 

This is almost xenophobic

 

I love foreigners. I just wish they'd get our language right, that's all!

 

I've read that about 80% of the English words have their origin in another language.