Domestic Violence

I'm interested in what you think about domestic violence towards men? Have you ever experienced it?
The reason i ask is because here in the UK a male soap actors wife was apparently arrested for attacking him, she was held by the police but later released.
Anyway what irritated me is that the media kind of made a joke about it. The male actor in this situation always plays a hard guy and so the media played on this basically saying he was far from a hard guy because he was attacked by a woman. If it was the woman who was attacked it would be a completely different story for the media.
No wonder guys find it hard to report domestic violence if the media doesn't take it seriously. It seems to me they are spreading the word that it is embarassing to be attacked by a woman, it shouldn't be like this.

 

And to boot, the chick in question does editorials against domestic violence for the Sun all the time.

That's feminism for you.

Problem is, if he had given her a bat in the gob in self-defence he'd be in the nick now.

 

Hitting another person is wrong, but so is calling other people names, not understanding your family members, spouse, brother, sister, mother, father ...i think if you fight all the time that is also domestic violence... because it creates such distress that you can neither report it, nor can you run away from it.

 

I think the media is stupid.

 

you mean if i havnt had girls i was with smack me with shit try to kill me and otherwise be jelouse controling and violent .....yes quite a feww times ...

 

Its become socially acceptable for girls to hit guys.

 

Big issue for me, philosophicaly, although I've never been with anyone who's tried to hit me. But generaly, women's bodies are considered more valuable than men's. This is a double edged sword in so many ways. Some of the bad ways this effects women : sexual objectification, body image hyperconciousness. Some of the good ways this effects women : encouraged to see doctors more often, protected from physical violence, evacuated from dangerous places first.

However, the male body is generaly ignored and degraded, considered expendable.

 

As a nurse, I have taken care of a few males who have been hurt by domestic violence - mostly knife wounds. However, the number is insignificant compared to the number of women who are treated - mostly blunt trauma - fists - kicks - or clubbed with a blunt object. Several of them have died because of head trauma. This was in a major medical center at the state capital. People have no idea how dangerous it is to hit a person in the head. Hell on TV they get right up.

 

This is interesting, I cannot seem to figure out whether your response is subjective or if it carries any general truth to it, anyway I cannot help but wonder about how women are more protected from physical violence while men are not... any examples?

 

I think he means with instances like evacuations
"women and children first"
*guessing*

 

RE : Subjective of truth, probably both.

Yes, Ginger, evacuations and such are the most obvious cases. But really everything. If two men are seen fighting, people cheer them on. If a man is fighting a woman, he's likely to get lynched. Women are not allowed into combat situations in the US military because they've found that male soldiers will get themselves killed trying to protect them.

All accross the board except for rape, men are the victims of violence more often. Muggings, lynchings, shootings, stabbings, attacked by strangers or friends, attacked by men or women, attacked by the police.

Also women's bodies are more protected from dangerous situations. Men have the vast majority of physicaly risky or damaging jobs, as well as the evacuations etc. discussed above.

Also women's bodies are protected in a preventative manner. Women see doctors on average more often than men. More research money is spent on female-specific diseases than male specific diseases. And while the motivation behind it and the preasures applied can be damaging, I am continualy surprised that people don't realise how much healthier it is to be preasured into being thin.

Do you need more examples?

 

I hear what you're saying, David, and I'm not interested in getting involved in the main focus of this discussion, however I don't realize how much healthier it is to be pressured into being thin. I assume you mean ' rather than being pressured to be fat, or whatever state you are in, fat, thin or inbetween.'
So many young girls have eating disorders because of the pressure to be thin. I worked at a Teen Centre, and so many of the girls there had eating disorders. Even one of the girls that worked there with me was did the all-round 'binge-purge-fast.' And it isn't just about the eating disoder, it's the foundation that sets the circumstances for such a harmful habit to manifest. I don't want to sound like I'm attacking you, but how is that 'healthier?' And what is it healthier than?

 

As I said, the motivations behind it and the preasures applied can be damaging. My sister was anorexic for over 4 years. We were worried about her dieing for a couple years. She was also running 5 or 10 miles a day while eating almost nothing. I am not denying the damage that it does.

But the vast minority of the female population are caught in full-blown eating disorders, and it usually lasts less than half a decade. For the majority of the population, how it is healthier should be emediately obvious. Being fat is unhealthy. Fat people are less happy, get tired faster, are less flexible, develop back problems, and oh yeah, they die sooner. Why don't we recognise ignoring the obese male body as being just as damaging as paying too much attention to the emaciated female body?

 

Ah, okay.

It seems to me that there is recognition of the harmful consequences of obesity. Do you mean 'why don't we do something about it?,' or that we need more recognition?

 

We seemed to have moved away from a good question

 

Yup, that's my fault. As an apology, I'll comment to further realign with the original post. -hem.

I think it's scary, particularly about the media not taking things seriously. The influence 'it' has is just incredible. I know I was highly influenced by the media when I was younger, and my friends were influenced as well, and I was influenced by my friends, so I got a whole load of second-hand media too.

The more I think about some of the things I don't say about myself or express because the things are unusual and perhaps socially unacceptable -- certainly not supported by the media -- the more realistic the idea of men not coming forward with this information becomes.

I also have a hard time imagining a situation where the domestic violence is aimed at the man. I suppose I've assumed that if a woman attacks a man, he'll undoubtedly be stronger and be able to hold her arms or something. Is it that they don't do that, or they get caught by surprise (in the case of knife wounds, I suspect this is the case), or they're afraid, or the woman is stronger? What actually happens generally? (Assuming that there is a 'generally.')

 

Well consider, my wife is a nurse she works on an adult psych. unit she has done that for years. She works every weekend. Two 12-hour shifts. It is a rare weekend that goes by that she does not have to fight. She attends a days training once a year. I am 6 foot one at about 180 pounds. I am a combat vet with the standard military training (years ago). I know that she could whip my ass in a fair fight. She has a lot more experience and training that is more current that I have. She fights males every weekend. She has help, true. However, many times it takes a while for the help to get there. Many women in the world are as tough and experienced as the average male.

 

"Many women in the world are as tough and experienced as the average male."
I can see that being true in the case of your wife, however from the couples I see around me, that is far from the case.

 

We don't live in a void.

No person is necessarily stronger than another. Any body can kill anybody else, reguardless of who can run the most laps or do the most push ups.

There aren't fair fights, there are fights with suprise, guns, poison, rocks, sticks, and anything and everything that can be used as a weapon.

 

Can't tell if you're being cynical, but it sounds like it. ["We don't live in a void"] That's why I asked: