Everything is getting worse everyday, the anxiety, the depression. I cry everyday and night. I start getting panic attacks when I have to be around people. The only thing I really look forward to most days is going to sleep at night. My friends are all busy with their own lives, most are married, engaged, have kids, or careers. I wanted all those things in my life but I just don't think it's going to happen for me. Seems like every time I want something and try to go after it it just fails and I end up extremely hurt. I'm to the point now where I feel like why try? Why even bother with anything anymore? I don't know what to do anymore. I've spent hours researching suicide but there's really no "easy", quick, painless, guaranteed to work way to do it. I talked to one of my professors about my anxiety and he talked to someone at my college and they will pay for me to see a psychiatrist for it but I can't cause I don't have any way to get there. Also I don't want to go to therapy. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone and in counseling or on meds that make me like a zombie. There has to be a better way... P.S. I'm not interested in becoming religious or finding Jesus. If religion/god/jesus helps you with your life problems that is wonderful, but it's not for me.
problem with you is you don't seem open minded, or care to do new things.. no to be rude but no wonder why you haven't accomplished anything. Suicide can and cant be the answer,but for you i don't think it is,because your still pretty young and you have many opportunities to move forward. Come on take that therpy waiting for you just do it,see what happenes. As long as you just try!Dont waste your whole life asking yourself ''what's wrong with me'' good luck
You're only 21. when i was younger i thought i'd be married and have kids by the time i was 21 cause that's what my parents did, but it hasn't happened and likely won't for a few years. there isn't any law that says you have to do such and such by a certain age, everyone's different. you should go out and meet new people, people who are similar to you. there is a whole world of people our age who feel the same as you do.
There are several things you can do 1. Start drinking 2. Grow up and realize that all of your problems aren't even really problems, there are millions and millions of people on the planet that would literally kill in order to be in your shoes because their lives are such shit. 3. You should examine yourself and think about why you react the way you do and what you don't like about those reactions. When you avoid situations that you are fearful of, the avoidance only serves to exacerbate those fears. If you are honestly thinking about killing yourself because you aren't married,engaged, have kids or a career at 21, then you kind of need to mature a bit. Thinking about killing yourself because your "life is so bad" is for 14 year olds. Your life isn't bad, go to Africa for a year. You'll find out that worrying about a career, having kids and being married is nothing but a luxury.
Kitty, sounds to me like what you should really be doing instead of all this research on suicide is sitting down and reassessing your priorities and desires, find out the root of what drove you to wanting such a cookie cutter existence, maybe stumble across some new interests in the process. Second thing would be to find out whats driving the social anxiety disorder? Find out just why you care so much about what others are thinking about you and stop it, start worrying what you think about you and to hell with everyone else and their possibly judgmental psyches. After all it's not even nessisarily that they do think bad things about you but rather you think they think bad things about you. They are only other people and have no more pertinance or relevance in your life other than what you give them. Good luck :cheers2:
I am going to second the first response. You sound like you dont want to do anything that may help. You have been offered therapy, why not JUST TRY it? If you want things to change..you HAVE to take the steps to make those changes.
therapy is the tits, they will help you find answers to many questions i'm certain you have about yourself. i.e. why are you so anxious and how to fix it. and meds don't make you a zombie, if you find the right one, they put you in the moment and help settle negative thoughts.
