ego death ???

hey everyone im new here and keep seeing a lot of people talking about ego death. i never heard of this until joining the forums (which are great btw!) and the member PB Smith recommended i do a search for more info. im asking if anyone can explain this more to me, its kind of confusing and people are making fun of me for not knowing what it is lol. Im just confused because to moi, acid and mushrooms have always made me have such profound feelings of love for myself and my memories, who i am, how i think and feel about life etc. i felt like i was dying before on psychedelics but there was no feeling like im reading about here, it was just like actual dying and there was nothing, like passing out, then i came back and cried lol. i just don’t seem to understand, why anyone would not want to be themselves???

 

my definition is just what it says: you see your ego die. you discover that everything you thought was true is actually a lie - your life, your beliefs, your dreams, your ideas. you see that mostly all of it is bullshit. its mind blowing. i experienced it for the first time last week. its not very cool but i feel that i learned things that would have taken me decades to realize.

 

Here, I did the search for ya.

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=383609&highlight=Ego+death&f=117

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=389226&highlight=Ego+death&f=117

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=331710&highlight=Ego+death&f=117

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=311480&highlight=Ego+death&f=117

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=291514&highlight=Ego+death&f=117

That should get you started. The first link is a good starting point, as it has some really good explanations/descriptions of the experience. Also check any linked stuff in thread. I know I posted a link to Richard Alpert (Ram Dass) giving an interview and he describes it perfectly.

It's not that people don't want to help newcomers out it's just some of these topics have been gone over very extensively in these forums. Any time you want info on a topic, I suggest doing a search first, read through what grabs ya, then come back with a new thread if there is more you are curious about or want to share.
It just gets old answering the same questions endlessly.

Read through the threads linked to and I'm sure you will have a much better grasp of the concept, then come back to this thread and discuss.

 

Are new insights done then?

 

thank you and i will keep that in mind about searching lol. i think i have experienced something like this, what Ram Dass is talking about (ive seen that vid before). but it didnt feel like my personality was gone entirely, it felt like i was realizing that everyone is the same essentially but i also felt like my sense of being and my memories and my body were special. there was love but it was coming from inside moi, not from a cosmic consciousness or anything. ill keep reading the threads though, i must be missing something

 

No you dipstick.
That is why I suggested reading through the material that is available FIRST, then re-visit this thread for further discussion, didn't I?

Often the questions asked by new members have very simple, basic, type answers that have already been addressed in these forums.

 

I know it's been said many times in here but, increase dosage.
True ego dissolution is almost a function of a high dose psychedelic experience, LSD especially. About 250-300ugs is pretty much a sure thing as long as the setting and your mind set are all good and secure. Unfortunately knowing the dosage of any hit is guesswork at best.

 

i took 6 hits at one time last summer, its the most ive ever done, and idk other then feeling completely out of my mind, very confused and sparkly, i didnt have anything like what everyone is saying. when i came out of the peak i was in love with myself lol i thought i had died, actually i was certain that i had...

 

If "you" see the ego die, then who is the "you" that is watching?

 

yea, this is what i mean, its confusing me

 

Well to me, it means that it wasn't really ego death at all.
The ego is essentially you, it's your sense of self. Without the ego there is no "you", so how can there be someone who watches the process of ego death?
What is there behind the ego that watches the ego die?
The soul? Pure awareness?
If those things do in fact exist, I don't think they would be congruent with a sense of self, able to be summed up with a "you" or an "I".

 

i tend to agree with you neodude, i dont beleive in a soul

 

That may be neodude, but throughout all of lifes experiences there does seem to be some aspect of awareness that is uneffected by your state of mind whether drug induced or otherwise, that seems to be observing or recording it all.

 

You sure did. And the memory of this helps with the condition of being tired of answering the same old questions. If we stick with it, we find that we develop new answers to the same old questions. We learn as we teach.

 

...sigh...
Sure, whatever.

 

now im even more confused!

 

I'm definitely not denying it's existence.
I don't think that ego is awareness, I think it's simply self-awareness. There is an awareness that all other things arise and fall in, including the ego, however, there doesn't seem to be anything about it that is indicative of an awareness that is divine or permanent or special.
To me it seems to be anything but, it seems to be a blank slate that means nothing at all. My experiences have led me to believe that the awareness that is behind everything else is in fact nothingness, it is devoid of personality and "self-ness", and in that way, it can't be described as being a "you" that watches something.

 

There is part of you that is silent witness to everything that happens. You may consciously connect with this space by turning off the commentary in your head.

 

And if you pass through the veil to the point of "being" that awareness devoid of personality, you have attained ego dissolution.

The true reward of such an experience is the coming back through it, where many have described being able to piece themselves back together with a new set of priorities in life. Amplify that which is good and beneficial, leave aside that which is negative and counterproductive.

The ego death itself isn't the marvel of this experience, it's the resurrecting of ego after it has been dissolved into it's myriad labels and roles that comprise "you" in a new and hopefully more positively oriented direction.

 

With this statement I completely agree.
I can almost picture the Howard Cosell archtype holding a mike a running the play by play of my daily life.