ego-loss?

can some of you experienced users clearly define what ego loss is exactly, ive heard it mentioned a few times.

 

sometimes called "breaking through". basically you lose all touch with the physical world and what is "tangible" as you spiral into the depths of your own subconcious. this is generally coupled with revelations about yourself, the world around you, and life itself. you will feel very enlightened but have very little recollection as to what ACTUALLY happened while you were lost, nor will you be able to explain your experience to anyone.

the best way to achieve this is to take a higher dose of whatever psychedelic, whether it be lsd, shrooms, dmt, mescaline, etc, put on some headphones and just relax, maybe stare at some visualizations program, such as electric sheep or the milkdrop plugin for winamp. there should be very few people present, and its best to do it at night. during the day there is a lot to see that could distract you from your goal. day and night are both fun for tripping, it just depends what your intentions are

 

I dont know the technicalities for "Ego-loss" but ive had encountered what I think it is. You find your self drifting away, somewhat out of your body, time and place. My life flashed in my head for a split second, and all was gone. No name, family, friends or knowledge of any life experiences. Then several seconds later I had game of 52 pickup with my mind, regaining all that i had just lost. It's only happened once and i cant really describe it, because i was most of all scared out of my tree trying to figure out what happened, but looking back i feel as if ive almost gained more then what went missing. Things go missing in the black abyss, but are also there to be gripped.

 

This is ego loss. This is from my last mushroom trip. It can be found in full at: http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2022632&

The next day comes and everybody that threw in comes over. We decide that we want to put some in chocolate and save some whole. A girl picks up some chocolate and some digital scales and brings them to my trailer. We measure out 12 grams of mushrooms, split them between 6 bars and wait for them to cool.

Eventually, everybody went about their day - work, responsibilities, etc. However, since my car was broken, I had no way out of the house. This means no work. I decided I'd wrap the chocolates. I start to cut them out of the mold when I realize that they're sticking a little bit. Not too bad, but it's leaving a little bit behind on each one. I finally get them all wrapped and figure "What the hell, I'll eat the leftovers and a little stem." And that's what I did. Time: ~4:30 PM.

Right after I dose, my friend shows up. He bought an eighth as well and I have a decent bit more, so we decided to go out to a lake and trip. The only catch is that he needed to go home and change. He does and comes back around 30 minutes later. By this point, I'm feeling giggly and have light patterns and tracers. He's still sober, so we hop in his Jeep. Time: ~5:00 PM.

It's a decent drive to the place we went, and there is no way a car could ever make it. An ATV would have trouble with it. Not his Jeep, though. He eats his eighth about halfway there so that he'll just be getting butterflies in his stomach by the time we get there. I chew a couple caps, too. The final road we drive down is basically an overgrown dirt road, barely passable. But we get there. Time: ~5:25 PM.

By this time, I'm tripping pretty well off the little bit I ate. It might have equaled an eighth in total. It was then that I realized I was in for a ride on the best mushrooms I'd tried to date. It made me tickle inside to think of that, so I ate another stem. By now, I was almost completely peaking. The visuals were going strong - very colorful and inviting. Not so harsh like acid, but very flowy and serene. We decide to smoke a bowl of some pot. Time: ~5:45 PM.

As soon as the bowl was gone, it hit both of us like a ton of bricks. All of a sudden, everything was dancing, time ceased to matter and communication was impossible. For about 30 minutes after I had fully peaked, I had complete ego loss. Everything had ceased to exist, in my mind and in my eyes. I was staring at the trees behind the lake when all of a sudden, they started dancing so hard that they all came together, along with everything else I could see to form one giant kaleidoscope. There were no individual objects anymore, including me. All I could think was "What the fuck??" I was completely mind-fucked. My thoughts were racing so fast that there is no possible way to begin to keep up with them. It seemed like they were a laser cutting right through my brain. This whole section of the trip was very DMT-like, and I wish I'd had some, although I don't think I could have hit it properly. At this point, I could not keep track of time anymore. It didn't exist for me, or what was once me.

Soon enough, I finally was pieced back together and had somewhat of a normal thought process back. Everything seperated again to what it was before, although I was definitely still peaking. I remember sitting in the Jeep for a long time, not being able to come up with anything to say except "What the fuck?" and "Wow." At some point during this phase, I was staring straight ahead and saw a faint, grey dot coming closer to me. Something communicated with me and asked "Are you ready?" I asked it back "Ready for what?" and the dot came a little closer. Now I could tell that this was a tunnel of some sort. Once again, it asked "Are you ready?" "Yes," I replied, "but please take it slow. I've never been here before." "That's fine. Just remember you're safe." was it's answer. Very slowly, I started to enter the tunnel. I had no idea what was at the end, except for the fact that it was something of great power.

Finally I start to see a light at the end of the tunnel. "I want full speed! Please, I'm prepared now!" All of a sudden, I was skyrocketed into the light. What I saw can only be definied as perfection. It was the great energy that drives us all. The Buddha-mind, if you will. If I had the ability, I'd have cried. You cannot see something this glorious without being moved to tears.

After this, I came out of the tunnel, going past perfection and came back to my body. When I "woke up" I was having visuals harder than when I went through. EVERYTHING was dancing and full of energy and love. I felt in tune with everything in the world. I was at Nirvana, there was no doubt.

By this time, we were both sober enough to talk, although neither of us could describe what we had went through. The best we could manage was "Are you tripping like I'm tripping?" And yes, each of us were. This was when shit went a little bad. We heard a boat on the lake. Most people out there will not tolerate people tripping. Cops would be called instantly. We talk about it for a few minutes and decide we need to leave. My friend was still tripping hard, as was I, but we took back roads and made it home safely.

Edit - I just read over this and noticed that I said I had only eaten a gram before I peaked. It was actually close to an eighth, although I wasn't weighing them. I just had 5 grams in a bag to start with and kept munching on them through the day, with most of them being eaten early.

 

It is so hard to define ego-loss. Ego loss is when your conception of who you are is shattered to reveal the truth... that you are simply a point of consciousness inhabiting a body... nothing more, nothing less. There is no more "you" interacting with "that" - "you" and "that" become one and the same. It doesn't really have anything to do with visuals or anything like that, at least how I define it Timothy Leary could probably do a much better job of explaining it, hehe.

 

^^agreed, it isnt necessarily about the visuals, its more about your exponentially more complex and transcendental thought patterns. although the visuals do serve as a sort of gateway to "somewhere else" so to speak, which help you achieve such thought patterns. each specific effect works in a system to achieve omniscience.

 

The definition might not be hard to explain, but the experience is. I never seen any visuals, but life, universe and everything does shatter. But explaining how that seemingly sturdy peice of glass shattered is unordinary, and something of another nature. Anyone without an ego isnt looking around them, their looking at them selves, pondering who, what, when, where why THEY are. Fuck i dont know im drunk, but ego loss is death without the flatlined heart. Its something more then anyone can truly explain. Ive seen horror shows, a man hanging from a tree, but nothing like being somewhere completly out character.

 

When you realize that You and I are actually Me It's our fears and beliefs (thanks to religion and a society based on complete control) that disconnects us.

 

Courtesy of "Ask Erowid:" http://www.erowid.org/ask/ask.cgi?ID=2758

 

i dont think you have to be frightened while it happens though. cause you definitions line up pretty well with my acid trip. cant for the life of me describe it and i cant recollect much of what actually happened either. completly forgot who i was and what i was. i was just some being, an entity. but i wasnt scared one bit....untill my friend busts through the door yelling about how he got jumped. that brought me back to reality a bit and got me a little edgy

 

how many tabs of lsd should one have to experience this or how many ug's?

 

That also goes different from person to person. Ego-loss can happen to you even on a smaller dosage than what you usually take. I guess it depends on a moment.

 

about 4 months ago i had a very terrifying experience with LSD, I lost my ego. i didnt know if it was normal or even possible to have such a vivid trip on how much i took. anyway, i was in the middle of a semi-bad trip already. i was alone, frying balls, and really high. next thing i knew my reality shattered and i was imprissioned within my mind. As said before by others, ill never EVER be able to describe what happened or what i saw. it definatly tops the list of the scariest shit thats ever happened to me. i fully regained my ego later that night. i questioned myself, i questioned the world, i questioned reality. to this day i still try and interpret this hellish nightmare. havn't dosed since, but i plan to soon, i know i probably wont happen again... but still.

 

something that sounds similar happened to me. was about 4 or 5 monthes back, except i wasn't under the influence of anything. i know i could never describe what happend either, mainly because its the type of thing the mind as we know it could never even begin to contemplate. anyway id be interested to hear from you.

as for ego-loss i can give only my thoughts. A place where the "I' dissolves into oneness.

 

Thats when you hear somebody desintegrates while he talkes to you!

 

haha true, thanks for pointing that out, i guess i didn't that didn't sound as i was intending it to. what i ment was kinda hard to put into words. trying to find the right way to put it i realise how difficult it is. but here goes again...

where the "I" dissappears and is not seperate from the true self. the consistent judgements stop, the "i want " stops. where someone doesn't go out into the world thinking primarily about their want. yup, that really is the best i can do :huh: guess in a way its a term one has to find for themselves

 

don't warry I know what you think. I was just making joke. You know when acid starts working and you just say that to your fellow tripper: "I can hear you desintegrate while you are taking to me!" Usually it is followed by a lot of laughter and turns the trip into the right direction - to joy and love!

 

You weren't under the influence of anything? i definatly want to hear more about this. what was your setting? mindset? how'd it start?

And shapeshifter, your sig pic sorta resembles a person in the middle of an ego-loss trip... a positive one atleast.

 

If you can even begin to describe ego loss, you havent experienced it. Very simple really, considering that it is the parasitic ego which consitutes complexity itself. What is the ego in nature, other than your identification to your awareness? Everything does not have awareness, it is quite apparent that everything is awareness and your individual existance is your ego. Lose that and descritption becomes impossible. We can recall feeling like we were seperating from our body, but what is that other than a continuing pattern of recognition? It's still "you" in some way, having a seperative cognitive memory of something "you" experienced.

 

My first run-in with ego loss was a hit of 10x salvia.
Nothing about the rules of the universe applied.
At best, I could only remember there used to be some facade I belonged to, I just couldn't recall what it was. It being people, me, life, objects, etc.
I had no idea I was tripping, I didn't know what I was or how everything worked. I was just in a confused state where I had nothing but a conscious with no basis whatsoever. The most alarming part of that is even though the first time, I REMEMBERED that where I then was was the truth and everpresent reality.
The most terrifying yet awesome thing ever.

I was just testing my bong with a small pinch of the stuff. lol.

LSD, shrooms, mescaline...these I prefer to have the normal, fake me I've come to know interact with the trip. DMT and Salvia are for for the bungie jumps into WTFness.