eh....bleh....

it should be a song

 

Thats really good Man,

 

Yeah, something that good, completely sucks...

It's great man! If you don't get excited by your own work, why should you post it? Post something that you get excited by.

 

It would make a song. Not a necessarily good song. The concept is fairly well thought out, but overall and the poem/lyrical part specifically hasn't been written very well. When I write poems, I write with feeling.. unless they are humorous, that's a different story, but I write with feeling and not thinking and most people write the other way around. Some aren't good at writing with feeling without thinking, but it is good to try.

 

that's cool, i liked it

 

lmao. george has crossed over to the dark side.



and tristan

I like a lot of your poems as songs, even if you mean for some to really just be poems every poem sounds really good as a song for some reason

ugh... hungry...

 

I can do it if you give me the tablatures to it/chord changes On second thought, maybe I don't want to be recognized for it.

 

I hope you have given that to a deserving gurl (or guy, whatever floats yer boat).

 

maybe not the latter.

 

There you see her, sitting there across the way.
She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her.
And you don't know why, but you're dying to try, you wanna kiss the girl.

Yes, you want her, look at her you know you do.
Possible she wants you to, there is one way to ask her.
It don't take a word, not a single word, go on and kiss the girl.

Sing with me now; sha-la-la-la-la-la, my oh my,
Look like your way too shy, you wanna kiss the girl.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la, ain't that sad, ain't it a shame, too bad you wanna kiss the girl.

Now's your moment Floating in a blue lagoon
Boy you'd better do it soon, no time will be better
She don't say a word and she won't say a word until you kiss the girl.

Sha-la-la-la-la-la don't be scared, you've got to move your head, go on and kiss the girl.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la don't stop now, don't try to hide it how, you wanna kiss the girl.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la float along and listen to the song, the song say kiss the girl.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la the music play, do what the music say you wanna kiss the girl.
You wanna kiss the girl...OR give her the poem... go on now, give her the poem.

(I'm sure mike rotch will love it!)

 

whoopsy daisy

 

The lyrics don't have to necessarily carry across much feeling themselves, if the way it's brought about vocally and musically portrays what you want