Heres some drunken stories of mine, hope you'll be entertained -Mine isnt that great but ill tell it anyway. 2 years ago my friend had a party with a bunch of shity 40 proof vodlka. Well im a pretty small guy and i was only like 5'3 then and like 100 pounds. It turns out i had like about 15 shots in about an hour an half and a bunch of pepsi and vodlka. I remember about 45 minutes of the party and woke up in my friends closet using his jeans and shirts as a blanket. Everyone thought i had died or something and kept trying to take my pulse and shit. The worst part is i missed strip poker and my friends smoking for the first time. Also i had to go to work that morning and i went in drunk with a huge fucking hangover. Lucky the driver there took care of me and got some shit to get rid of the hangover. -ok i got a story for you guys (im not the best story teller but all my friends thought it was funny, so ill do my best) So me and my buddies decide to go to a friends house to go get drunk in his hot tub. So we are in his room getting change to go out to the hot tub. Im looking around for a safe place to put my clothes where they dont get messed with, so i put them in the closet and figure thats a good place for them. We then go out to the hot tub get piss ass drunk off of shitty drive threw vodka, this is also the night i decide to join what my friends call the botherhood and get burned with a black n mile on my back. After that my friend decides to give me my first piece of chew. Im so drunk and now getting a huge rush from the chew (never smoked or anything so first time with nicotine) my head starts rolling around and the juice drips down my throat making puke all over the side of the hot tub. My buddies decided that it was time for me to go to bed. So im helped back into the house and pass out on the floor still in swim trunks. I wake up at 5 in the morning to go take a piss come back and pass out again. Like 20 minutes later one of the guys falls on me and wakes me up so i go move over to a new spot on the floor. Another 20 minutes later i wake up to sounds of someone puking, the dude that fell on me was now throwing up in his sleep all over my friend. The guy that is being puked on doesnt even wake up, the rest of the people in the room are now up and laughing their asses off. I shake the guy for a little bit that was thrown up on he stirs looks at all the puke on the floor and him and moves a foot over and goes back to sleep. Then my friend tells me that the guy that was throwing up also pissed in the closet. Lights turned on and we think hes parents have heard the noises and decide its time to dip before we get busted. We start getting dressed and i go over to the closet and discover that he fucking pissed all over my clothes!!!! Im fucking pissed and my friends arent helping me out by laughing. Lucky for me the piss the didnt get my jeans wet just my hoodie and shirt and my friend even had a hoodie in his truck for me to wear. So we then dip out before we get busted and go to steak n shake to nurse our hangovers. Later we go back to my house to go back to sleep. Before we do that i pick up my car and i discover that my car wont start. So my friend that drove me to my car picks me back up we go to my house and go to sleep. Probably 30 minutes after we get to sleep our friend that got thrown up on keeps fucking calling me asking me what to do because he has throw up all over his $300 letter mans jacket. So what a shitty way to start a day, piss all over my clothes, a huge hangover, my car wont start, and when i finally get to go back to sleep i get called 10 times waking me up each time. Ill tell an embarrassing one. I drank about 3/4 to a whole thing (cant exactly remember) of that shity vodka thats like 40 proof and is a liter or two. Well dont remember alot of the night but i woke up on my bed naked with a wet blanket wraped around my waist. I kept thinking how the hell did the blanket get wet. Then i pulled it off me and got a wiff of it. I had passed out and pissed myself. Thought i had ruined my mattress too, but i got some stuff for cleaning up catpiss and that took care of it. This was the first time i had ever drank before and i had also just gotten really into smoking. I blame this all on my one friend cause he was the one that got me really fucking drunk. His reasoning was, i was funny high so i was probably really funny drunk. Well he made my drinks and put a lot of southern comfort in it (yuck hate that shit) after i was pretty hammered and yelling motherfucker alot they started talking about how one friend was a virgin and got really drunk on his birthday and went looking for some pussy from this one fat nasty chick. Everyone started laughing at him and etc, he then said something like it sucks to be virgin, to which i replied dude id fuck ya if i could get off the couch. Everyone just turns to me and starts cracking up, they even got it recorded on some pen thingy. That night i also puked a couple of times but made it in a bag and the sink. The only bad thing was it turned out the sink was clogged and the chick who's house it was had to put her hand in my puke to unclog it. Just remembered another. I was drinking with a buddy one time and he comes out with a drill and starts drilling fucking holes in his coffee table. I just look at him and he says a tipsy person shouldnt have power tools. Then a couple nights later his dad stoped by the house and said i like what youve done with coffee table. Those are all i could find typed up atm and im about to go over to a buddys house
how the fuck is that 2 girls one cup soo known, its uterly disgusting, i first heard of it when my friend sent me a video from youtube of some guy trying to watch it, then he pukes, fuck theyre even making reaction videos about that disgusting act
I'm feeling a little down, so I don't care if your entertaied so much. Have you considered playing with yourself?
Take a muscle relaxer and just sleep if you're that bored. I did...I'll be off to have strange dreams soon. Last time I took one I dreamed about Lode. :leaving:
Eh, got dumped and also lost a great oppurtunity in Florida yesterday. I'm taking the weekend to sulk about it. Then next week, I'll come up with something new and cool. I mean, I already sort of have come up with something tenously... But I'm still a little down.
Oh My tenous plan is cooler. It involves doing this... Here. And if she wants to, alongside someone I like.
Everytime I have to take a big poo and have to hold it in... I think of that vid... and it makes me want to go that much more, but not on anyone, really, seriously.
