Extra Blessed and Not Put to Use and Frustrated

Ok, so long story short I've been with the same woman since i was 17 and am now 30. We love eachother very much and have a pretty happy relationship.

For the last couple year's she's been realizing that she's not happy with alot of other things in her life. In turn it's affecting her happiness and our intimate life.

Anway, i've always been extra lucky in "that" department, but never thought much of it or focused on it. Lately i've been really self aware of it and it's been making me have all sorts of crazy urges that I've never experienced in my whole life. It's like sometimes i just want to go nuts! I feel so guilty feeling this way.

In a certain way i feel like i'm not being put to good use right now. Also, it's so tough because we love eachother so much, but i've never been with anyone else, i hate that i have that curiousity. It's so tough to deal with, when all i want to do is just live life and not think like that!

I just don't know how to cope with all the urges! Does anyone else ever feel like this, any thought's / advice from anyone?

 

bein with the same person for that long is bound to make u curious
i was with the same person for 1 year (yeah i know it dont seem that long)
but i always got curious n had other urges
so i asked for a break from him
went out n explored
and well i like wat i found
n i completely broke it off with that guy

point is
if u have the curiosity
think it thru
and maybe just maybe it might be sumtin u wanna go out to explore...

 

i appreciate the advice sg girl, i really am in love with my girl. It's just that I feel like becoming so aware of my size is making me have really strong urges, I wish i knew how to cope with it as crazy as it sounds. Or i wish i didn't meet so young, i would have done things much different.

 

... 1 year is not nearly the same as an over a decade relationship. And none of your relationships seem the least bit serious anyway, so especially not yours.
Really, I hope OP disregards your advice entirely - as a one year relationship by a hedonistic fool (those are two separate critiques of her by the way) is not nearly as valuable as a loving relationship that one has been able to sustain for 13 years.
Please OP, consider a break only as a very very last resort, as it will surely be a complete slap in the face for your woman (I almost said wife, but realized you didn't specify), and likely a true end.



I've only been with my first girlfriend for almost 3 years. I've already fought with curiosity and mastered it. However, I can't possibly imagine how the scope of time might magnify such curiosity. Nor have we ever had a period of sexual downtime (aside from the first few months =P)

I'd like to refer you to my favorite sex and relationships columnist Dan Savage, in case you don't find anyone else's commentary soothing enough. I am sure some of my fellow HFers will offer plenty of valuable advice, and maybe even advice that just hits you perfectly - but if not, I offer you him as a backup, because I feel inadequately experienced to answer well.

 

Duck, thanks again, to be honest i'm kinda split between both points of view. Some days i'm so pent up i feel like i could go crazy. Other days i'm reserved. Just wish that there was something new and exciting i could figure out to deal with it all.

 

Does she know about your displeasure?
Have you taken up to masturbating?

 

We've talked extensively about it, generally we've come to terms and love eachother alot, just doesn't cure the on going frustration and physical needs, you know?

Just wish this issue didn't make my senses so aware and start makin me think about it all the time, and also pose physical restrictions in terms of compatibility.

 

I don't see the hype about having a big dick, at all. But, I suppose I can understand how having something that's in demand could make you feel more wanted..

Have you brought up the idea of other women?
Or, can you give any background on how you think she may react?

 

Other women are definitly not an option. And as I said before about being big, i never really focused on it until it got brought to my attention by some other people. Then i started thinking about it like crazy and it's raised my libido way too much thinking about it.

 

your cock size has nothing to do with your libido. forget that part of your argumentation.
its a matter of your personality and personal values. some ppl are into lastig relationships, others arent. some settle down after a wild life, others dont, some find their wild side when they are permanently engaged others are content with what they have.

if you really love your girl, you will control yourself and/or work out a solution with her. normally ppl in your age have already completed their selffinding process, so if you have those feelings now, its most likely curiosity - quite understandable (hell, i experience the same after only 7 years with the same girl). however, you are no slave to your libido (or your cock). YOU decide, not your urges. sit back, take your time and explore your own feelings and fiews - just dont make the mistake to thow away a 13 year relationship on base of a momentary urge.

btw - "big"....well, you know, some ppl are well trained and dont run off to become olympic athelets. maybe you really have a big johnny, but that doesnt mean you have to fuck as many women as possible. you are a man, not a mindless animal.

 

Well, you have to figure, midlife, for guys, is like a second teenage =P

It's very likely that other people showing interest in his size, just triggered the idea in his brain that "other people want me" and since he isn't getting much physical treatment from his lady, that has been underlined, emboldened, and italicized.

Yeah, this is pretty much what I was thinking, 4 years on me and the same advice, maybe I could've spoken up =P




OP - If other women aren't a possibly, I suggest massive amounts of porn =)
Also, try to calm your woman down. Talk to her when she seems stressed. Give her back rubs, cook for her if you don't already, maybe even take over her chores when you're feeling charitable.
Maybe take her out for a nice dinner or two, something nice and romantic like fondue =P
Don't expect any of this to get you sex, or you are only opening a door for disappointment, furthering your troubles. But do expect it to help her feel better, which may just possibly lead to her wanting to hop into the sack a little more often eventually =P


Edit: just saw this in other thread:

My ex?

Sherlock Holmes time *cracks knuckles, light's cob pipe, puts on deerstalker*

So, it seems that this woman and you have gotten back together, and it seems more recent, as you haven't gotten out of the habit of referring to her as your ex.
How recently was this? Why did you break up? Has she been sexually cold ever since getting back together - or is this truly new?

 

That's really great advice for everything, i appreciate it. For the record i'm sure i'll remain in control, I definitly don't want to throw away the relationship due to some sexual hangups, it hasn't always been this way. Generally I feel like i've been awakened somehow though and it had to do with being blessed. Still trying to figure out how to deal with it. And somehow word got around town about it, haven't figured that one out yet, but I've received some extra attention and I feel like that's temptation putting me over the edge. But for sure i'll beat it some how. I'm not the kind of person that could cheat like that, too many feelings involved and i'm too honest. But damn sex drive can drive you nuts sometimes.

 

duck, we've always been together from 17 to 30, she's never been my ex, maybe that got confused somewhere. Probably me, sometimes i write fast and my sentences probably didn't make the most sense!

 

ugh i wish i could put this thing to use, this when i get so frustrated and pent up. Sometimes it's so hard to maintain a relationship, I so wish I were getting some right now. So tired of getting turned down due to a mismatch of sizes!!! Anyone else frustrated too?

 

Sausage!

 

Eggs!

 

ha thanks for the thoughts orgazmik

 

lmfao. Sorry!

 

@OP: Generally i would always be a bit sceptical if receiving attention for something... is the person really interested in you? or is it your blue eyes/long hair/your talent as an athelte/your looks/your cock/whatever they are interested in? its always nice to get attention, but personally i prefer the attention being focused on my whole person, not just an aspect of my body. Most likely guys dont have this problem that often, but maybe the gals here know this better than us.

 

First Orgazmik, wow, you're hot, second, thanks for posting a reply to this thread, only wish you had some good practicle advice in this forum. At least I had a reason for my extra blessing to feel good for a while