Feeling a bit down today.

I'm at a point in my relationship where we can't understand each other anymore.
I feel so shitty today man!

 

men and women aren't supposed to understand each other

 

I feel bad today too, but I fear mine is just everyday life dragging me down.

What you guys having trouble reaching common ground on? (If I may ask)

Then why did God make John Gray?
(Or Dr. Phil.. I guess.. for you modern people)

 

I feel the same man!
There's no strong communication on both parts,and I feel taken for granted:/
Im inlove with him but I'm hurt inside and he can never hear me out without walking away from me.

 

feel better SW, feel free to hit me up for a chat whenever

 

Well, is there anyway that you could say you peace that wouldn't make him wanna walk away?
Was there ever strong communication?

 

Yea I can be an idiot and spill my emotions to harshly to him:/
I'm also doing wrong.
No I dont think there ever was.We've been like this for too long,I'm about to give up

 

Thanks IB.

 

Everyone fights in a relationship and gets angry and stuff. I'm led to believe that this is what healthy relationships are like. Cause when you're with someone all the time it's inevitable you're gonna get moody with them.

 

Very true. But man the fighting is consistently,everyday.

 

I've never fought with Debbie. 3 years, 10 months; so far.
I think that ideally, no relationship should need yelling - and think it rather nasty that a tumultuous relationship should be considered "the way things are".

Well, if you are too harsh, you should expect harsh reaction. Try being softer and see if he will respond better.
I don't think you should call it quits before talking to him; maybe he is as unhappy with the way things are heading as you, and will be willing to work to change it

 

Is he Mr. Sweetleaf or boyfriend Sweetleaf?

I hope you can work things out and things will get better.

 

But do you live with her and see her every day??!?!?!!!

 

I wish!

But I don't fight with my sister either

 

I dont fight with my gf either.

 

Then why'd ya say?

 

Some people bring out the best and worst in each other- equal balance = growth
you gotta ask yourself are you learning by being challenged by the issue of lack of communication? I know its one thing I cant live without in my relationships

Sending waves of positive vibrations your way

keep shining beautiful sis-star!



xxx

 

I've heard that how you communicate is one of the best predictors of a relationship staying together.

Couples that can be positive, or even affectionate, while they communicate even about things that bother them, are much more likely to stay together.

If he is walking away, you are probably hitting him with too much negative emotion. If you are yelling or making accusations, and his response is to walk away, you're probably making a bad situation worse. Can you imagine what it must feel like to have someone yell at you and not be able to articulate what you're feeling, or to feel so powerless or overwhelmed that you can't represent yourself?

If you yelled or made accusations, I suggest that you apologize, tell him that you love him, that you want to understand him, and that you want to find a way to work things out so that you can both be happy. Try just doing some listening. If you can get him to explain himself, try saying what he says back to him (unless it's really obvious), for example "so what you're saying is that you feel [fill in the blank] when I [fill in the blank]". Mirroring back what someone says to you helps to register with them the fact that you understand what they feel and that their point of view is valid. You may not agree with what he says, but rather than immediately launching into a counter argument, it's important to first make it clear that you understand his point of view and hear him out completely. It's important for you to show that you want to embrace his expression of his point of view, particularly when in the past he has just walked away.

When it's your turn to explain how you feel, I suggest that you do it in terms of how you feel, rather than in terms of accusations against him (for example, "when you do [x] I feel [x]" rather than "you are always doing [x]"). If it feels right, you can even try being affectionate while you express yourself. It helps to communicate the important theme of loving him, and that the communication is about trying to make things better.

You may want to talk about the particular issues that are causing trouble here.

And my stock answer for most problems is that seeing a relationship councilor either together or unilaterally is always and option.

 

Be gentle.

 

I'm surprised no one suggested that when you get too low

....you need to get high :ssmokeit: