This is the first ream poem I have written.... please be kind Propaganda We are all nameless pawns in the eyes of the advertisers Lining up one after another to purchase the latest trend Fad after fad You’re popularity depends on how much you spend Your possessions own you Trapped by the gimmicks and tricks We buy, buy, buy without a clue Everyone’s looking for the quick fix Everything’s material, try to target the youth Hidden advertisement’s on the back of a cereal box’s Will we ever uncover the truth? No, everyone’s to busy watching the stocks Everyone’s fake Fake smiles and handshakes You take what you can get, get what you can take No one’s learning from their mistakes Good news, now you can buy beautiful Young girls looking at celebrity’s Making themselves throw up Design yourself a new face Silicon is the current trend.
Should I be so nice I don't even reply. Would it be better if I said great poem without listening to your questioning despair? I will say if you want something to grow feed it your attention. What is a joy for you? Find this, in yourself, and you will know it when it appears around you. Create that which you wish others would share with you. By all means use the mute button or turn the channel to bluescreen or static to better reflect your own voice. Make a collage from all the ads to better see your own combinations. Futility is trying to find your voice in other peoples words & pictorial formats. Your voice can only be found in the silent aloneness. Tune into your expansive universe. Paint me a picture of yes... not what is and should not be. Vote with your passions. Your words clearly cast the spell of what irritates you... in this you have a gift. The gift of offering what you sense. Please continue.
Actually - I think its not bad for a first attempt. Reflects the horror many of us share at today's somewhat brainwashing consumer society. It is a formal kind of poem - thats ok, but please don't hold back from experiment with different forms, perhaps freeer(?sp?) forms.....but do go on
I don't like the brash generalizations of this poem. And look at the last line....it doesn't work well as an ending, there is no conclusion.
Thank you for your opinions. This is just my first attempt at poetry, I have lots to learn and would love all the sugestions I could get.
every word you write down will be beautiful if you write it from your soul you need to keep writing and when you get in a situation where you feel you need to write, write it down and you will have a successful poem... your poem is great...and keep on expressing
