My mom fucked me up, and I really, really think I have OCD.. Maybe it wasn't my moms fault...but it probably was. The fucking way she talked about herself. And I HAVE to shake up the mother fucking milk. I can't breath with stuff on my hands. Fucking sand makes me miserable.. I wanna have kids, but I'll fuck them up and be a bad mom, I know it.. I can't fucking enjoy myself anywhere I fucking go because I'm too fucking self conscious...I can't stop worrying that everyone who looks at me is thinking something bad.. I could never be anorexic. I don't know why, either.. And I HATE it when people don't like me.. Why? I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE. I shouldn't give a fuck, I know. I FUCKING KNOW THAT!#%#$#%##$ Now why the hell am I worried?!... I don't know.. I just don't fucking know. I'm too low maintenance to be this goddamn self conscious. What the fuck is wrong with me.
some scientists believe that ocd is when an archane animal grooming "algorithm" goes heywire and people over groom..... I freak when my left foot can't move, but when I'm slightly compressed, when I feel universal pressure I feel a sort of bliss, Why should I be posting here... I'm likely the most fucked up person here.....
ive had OCD for atleast 2 or 3 years, thats when i got checked for things like that... i need to go back, according to some online tests that i took seriously not very long ago, i probably have developed mild schizophrenia and a horde of other disorders. i fit in with the young hippies forum perfectly.
woah. it's okay micha. i like you. um... well. everyone has their little habits, you know. i can't go fer a couple hours without washing my hands, even if they aren't dirty, they just feel like they are. and when i talk i tap my fingers (or move my toes around..) on the left/right sides of whatever (leg/desk/etc.) to keep up with the syllables, haha (i blame that on elementary skool..) and when i stand i always sway to the side or back and forth...so... yeah
micha, you're only 15 - don't even talk about having kids yet. being self consious and thinking you're weird is part of being a teenager - it'll wear off eventually, when you have made a spectacle of yourself in public enough times that you know it won't kill you
epileptic, athasmatic, autistic, flat footed, prone to everything...... I have inhaled a quarter cup of asbestos in the past 5 years
the insulation under the house i remember, it was pink, and it was so dark under there, but there was little windows to let the light in. goddamn. i hadn't remembered that in years.
I dunno, I'm pretty fucked up... OCD tendencies, (previous) insomnia, (previous) depression... Anywho, don't worry about it micha; you're 15 and a lot of shit sucks because of puberty and social situations. At least you're not in the situation I was (and, well, still am...). It's okay to be self-conscious, and things will get to you; sometimes, you won't even understand why. I most certainly didn't; I still don't understand all of it, but I've got a decent idea now. Just give it time, you'll figure stuff out.
i used to have insomnia.. it sucked at the time, i think id like to have it back now... i didnt sleep for like 3 years or something
I took those personality disorder tests I am not doing so good. I scored pretty high in schizotypal, and alot of other things. I took the leader test, and I got Hitler (I knew I was gonna before I took it). I really think I'd make a better leader than him though (maybe not a better speaker, because he was one of the best public speakers who ever lived). Micha, you look great, honestly. I don't see why anybody wouldn't like you. Personality disorders can be genetic, but that wouldn't make it your mothers fault you got it. Did she do something that makes you think she gave it too you? Go to similiarminds.com and take their personality disorder test, its lots of fun. I think I am going to go take it right now. I alawys have to shake those stupid chocolate milks I get at the school, but otherwise its fine. I hate sand and saltwater, I think it irritates my skin, I ich like crazy. Are you so concious that you can't stop thinking? Cause, I never stop thinking. I don't know what low matinence means. Go take the test at http://similarminds.com/
Hitler I'm not even gunna say anything, because I'm sure you know what I'd say.. Heh... Well idunno she ALWAYS complained about her weight..I guess I just picked that up from her.. alright Well I have to shake up everything I drink...(well unless it's carbonated) And ya..I hate the beach alltogether...lol Never. I don't wear make-up, I don't straighten my hair, I wake up brush it and go. I don't wear all the latest trends, I don't have to be immaculate everytime I walk out the house....etc etc..
that blows my high school in new york had asbestos in only (supposedly) the 3rd floor ceiling.. most of my classes were up there too, imagine that eh, ive probably got quite a few things fucked up with me... my parents were in germany when i was inside my mother, and they were over there when chernobyl happened... all of europe got hit pretty bad.
