"I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade." -George Carlin Reply with good quotes you've heard, not necessarialy Carlin.
I don't believe God put me on this planet to judge others. I believe he put me on this planet to gather specimens to take back to my home planet. -Jack Handy
"If I tell you I'm good, you would probably think I'm boasting. If I tell you I'm no good, you know I'm lying." - Bruce Lee
“Things are as they are. Looking out into it the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” - Alan Watts
Not really a quote but a funny line, maybe it is a quote? You wouldn't know true beuty if it was out in the parking lot waiting to give you hepatitus... Which it will be in 10 minutes. - Will Farell, Saturday Night Live
Good thread Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present. Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121 AD - 180 AD), Meditations, 200 A.D. Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. Euripides
nothing is true, everything is permissable. -hassan i sabbah think for yourself and question authority -dr. leary
"immortal technique is treason to the patriot act, so come and get me motherfucker cause i'm not coming back"
yes I cpied and pasted, so what? “I feel stupid when I write the word banana. Its like, how many na’s are on this thing? ‘Cause I’m like ‘Bana … keep going. Bananana … damn.’ “Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I’m swimming, sometimes I’m not sure which one it is. I gotta go by the outfit. Pants - uh oh. Bathing suit - okay. Naked - we’ll see. Should I be swimming faster, or am I getting laid?” “A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he’s persuasive. ‘Dude make a left.’ ‘Those are trees…’ ‘Trust me.’ If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I’d probably just start calling out letters. all Demitri Martin quotes new fav comedian
