GF said her "hearts not in this relationship"

Me and my GF has been together for about a year and a half now and everything was great up until a few months ago where we started fighting over the smallest things ever. The last thing we fought about is when she called me and I asked if she was finished with work and she says "Is that all you care about?" and then we started arguing from there because I said I'm just anxious to see her. In this relationship, we never see each other that much. Weekdays she stops by at night and during the weekends I see her either a Sat. or Sun.
It seems like she always tries to cop out of this relationship but SHE doesn't want to do the dirty work. She tells me things like "You know my hearts just not in this relationship anymore." "I'm too busy with work, I don't even really have time for a relationship anymore" and then when I say "Oh do you want to break up then?" she is quick to just ask me "If you want to, just tell me you do.." but I don't say I want to break up. I know it's my problem because I am in love with her and I don't want to break up with her, but she isn't feeling me anymore yet she keeps playing with my emotions by being a girlfriend figure to me by coming over being with me. I asked her why she does this if she doesn't have any feelings for me and she says that she thinks that maybe it would come back.....but it hasn't. What should I do to rekindle this relationship? We were contemplating a break, but she says if we take a break it's 50/50. Either she will realize that she doesn't want me in her life, or she will realize that she misses me and wants to be with me. What should I do?

 

I'm sorry to tell you this, dude cause you love her but you really need to just end it with her.
Theres a life time for love and many fish in the sea..
Go fishing and find them.

 

From what you have written, she has already told you it is over in her own way and expects you to probably end it so that she does not have to.

While it may be painful for you to go your separate ways,it will probably more painful for you if you continue to try to fix this relationship. If one in the relationship no longer wishes to be there, it can not be fixed.

It is far more difficult to deal with being hurt constantly than to end something and deal with the finality.

What ever you decide to do, I hope that you will be alright.

 

Sounds pretty round about to me. At least you will know one way or another. Either you will discover it is hopeless and be able to justify letting her go, or she will decide she wants you and gathers all her feelings back.

You have to look at it like this, you can't rekindle or force anything- it's only her who can do that. Take the break, take the chance.

Hope all goes well.

 

thats absolutely right. i just need this reality check.
i was telling her that i wanted to fix this relationship but it takes 2 people to do it and thats when she said "but what if i don't want to?" but a part of me is still holding on and I hate it! I don't know why I want her so bad when she's right about us fighting over the smallest things. but all I said was I wanted to fix the relationship so we don't fight and we can both just be happy. But I know that's not an option. I'm just thinking about all the negative things and how we fight so easily, for example one that sticks out in my mind was when she was working late and then she called me and said she was stressed out and I asked her "Are you done with work yet?" and she angrily said, "Is that all you fuckin care about?" and we fought because I was just anxious to see her. Like just things like that it's ridiculous.

 

All in all though mate, if you guys were to break up

be the bigger man, don't do her dirty work. She sounds like a bit of a coward, trying to make you break up with her. Let her do it.

 

What people argue about in a relationship is usually only the trigger, the problem is underlying. My guess (that is all that it is) is that she is saying that because she does not want you in her personal space. It is rather like a message that it really is no longer your business what she does or is doing.

People never fight over what really is wrong.

You need to evaluate for you, how much more you can take and are willing to. If your answer is that it should end, then end it. Waiting for her to do so will only prolong this, which is never a good thing. To be honest, who ends it is immaterial, other than allowing both parties to move on. Most times that is the only option left.

 

hate to tell you , it may have seemed like months to you but it could have been years to to her, you just started seeing it months ago, which is sad that you never noticed it before it got that bad. but by then its over. men listen up , see us, see our needs, dont get lazy . and i dont mean laying on the couch lazy , i mean relationship lazy

 

Daralicious, I know, but why? I might've only seen it 2 weeks ago but if she's been seeing it/fell out of love with me for a much longer time, why does she keep contacting me and making like we still are in a relationship yet her heart isn't in it? That's why I'm confused and feel like she's just playing games. Pretending to be into me by texting me Good Morning honey in the morning, etc. Mixed signals like this but when we fight she wants me to tell her to go away and stop all contact.

 

Whats her big bad career if I can ask?

 

Thats code for she thinks she can still change you.

 

I think I was in a similar situation with my ex. I was in it, he wasn't. It happens. Ending it was the smartest thing, because although I'm not over him and I miss him, I knew that it wouldn't have lasted and it was better to get it over with sooner rather than later so that I can find someone who does love me I'm much happier (in most aspects) of my life now. I'm meeting more people and making more friends. More than anything, I miss the companionship, but by the time we ended it, even that wasn't there anymore.

 

Someone has to drag this shit into every discussion.

 

I don't think this is a matter of making the other feeling more special... It's childish if that's what she wants. If she wants to spice anything up to get the feeling back, she should do that. He should try too, but it seems to me that he has been.

 

so you're saying this started before they even got together?

women listen up, just tell us what the fuck you want and we'll generally be glad to do it.

what?

"someone has a crush on you, do you feel the same about them?"
"who is it?"
"that's a secret until you say you like them back."
"I DON'T KNOW, WHO IS IT!?"

 

it could be so many things , do you live together? she may not have enuff money to move out , or she may think you dont make enuff to live on your own, so shes torn.

 

The very deepest of analyses