girlfriend and i got into a huge fight.....

my girlfriend and i got into a huge fight to the point where we both did things that no one would ever forgive each other calling each other names, she hit me i didn't hit her back but i did call her a lot of hurtful things and i broke her phone. we were both drunk. now we are supposed to be broken up. we both apologized and i asked if she wants to make this relationship work and she says that she doesn't want to be with me anymore. yet she is sleeping over my house and has sex with me. but when i ask her if we're back together she says "no i can't be with you anymore because of how you treated me" and then tells me that she needs time to think and clear her head but as of right now she doesn't want to be with me anymore. but if she isn't planning on giving me another chance or wanting to be with me, then why is she still sleeping with me? I am so confused. she claims she won't ever forgive the things i said and doesn't want to be in this relationship because she isn't happy. maybe she thinks if we are friends, we won't fight... but still have the benefits of being in the relationship yet not really being in one?

 

Quaaaaazy bitches,,,

I dunno. It seems some distance is called for here, for the purpose of re-evaluation, which evaluation you cannot possibly do if overmuch proximity is involved.

 

Many seemingly unforgivable things can and will be forgiven in time. Yet another example of how alcohol is often death to relationships. That's your problem.

 

Maybe shes not sure if she wants to breakup.You know how women decide on things-with their emotions.Do you really want her back?I saw a blog that deals with this issue at
http://www.squidoo.com/fixing_breakups.Maybe this might help you.

 

She doesn't sound like someone that's ready for a serious relationship.

You don't necessarily either.

 

Hmm, that's pretty intense especially if she hit you.

I tried to be friends with my ex after we broke up. It was horribly unhealthy and one night (after lots of drinking) it all exploded similar to your story only no hitting or breaking things. I realized that night why we couldn't be together at all.

If you two broke up and she's still sleeping with you when she knows you want to be back together with her then that's pretty cruel. I'd say just move on unless the two of you do some serious talking (and perhaps ease up on the drinking.)

Good luck man.

 

This guilt trip is BS! It doesn't matter what you said to her. Physical abuse is inexcusable and she would have been arrested if a neighbor had heard/seen the altercation and called the police. She's the one who crossed the line. She just betting that you're to whipped to stand up for yourself. She's trying to manipulate and control you. Making you kiss ass in hopes of getting back together, but ass kissing will not earn respect. Does the fact that she's sleeping with you, but not with you, make you respect her more or less?


CALL HER BLUFF.

Tell her you've though about it and have too much self respect for yourself to stay with a girl who thinks it's OK to abuse you because you offended her. Don't contact her, don't answers her calls. Wait a few days and see if she wants to give it another try.


If you want to take it down a step, you could tell her you got asked out on a date. Since your not together anymore, you said OK. That should be a good way to start talking about the real status of your relationship.


The truth is, if she's sleeping with you, then she really has no issues about being with you, or the way you treat her. She has already come back for more. Just don't confuse being WITH you and being FAITHFUL to you. She may just be looking for the next thing or keeping her options open.


Do you really want to be with someone who keeps the status of your relationship in limbo? Love isn't about drama, manipulation and control. And you don't seem very happy with the current status. She either wants a relationship with you, or she doesn't. Let her know that there are two choices. 1) Rebuild the relationship. 2) Move on.


Life is short. Why invite unnecessary stress to your existence? Would you willingly sign yourself up for a year or two more of this treatment? How long will you be OK with trading your self respect for a piece of ass? Why don't you try being in control of your destiny for a change?

Don't worry yourself about losing her. To hear her tell it, you already lost her. Either she wants to be with you, or she doesn't. If this relationship isn't going to happen, then it's best to accept it and get past it as soon as possible...before it completely destroys your confidence and well being.