After fucking up royally, she's essentially being forced into rehab by her family. Third serious drug treatment in 9 months, the first two being detox places (first also a psychiatric unit). I can't really talk I do drugs too, but this just sucks. I'm starting college again on WEDNESDAY and I know this is shitty for her too, but I don't need this on my mind... not after my last and only other girlfriend who was equally as unreliable and sketchy. I guess men really do look for women who remind them of their mothers... I dunno what to do. I half want to just say good luck and peace, given how things have been this past month. See: http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=456474&f=65 I do want to keep being invested but I have so much going on right now and I just know this is going to make everything way harder. I haven't had a break in dating since January 2010, save for a few days. I need some good solid ME days for at least a little while. However, I'm not the kind of person that would take a break with someone and make vague plans about coming around-- I don't like to think about that. It's either happening or not.
or one that still does drugs maybe a breakup would be best for both of you, until she sorts her shit out
Kindly do not accuse me of showing zero support, as you know virtually none of our history except what I've shared and are therefore speaking out of your ass. Why is it that every situation I've ever been in with women requires total support from me and I am suddenly a dick for considering myself in the picture... Now drugs are a totally different story. You're right Nyxx; nothing is going to get better if I just do my own thing here. I'm not saying I won't do any work here people; I'm just sick of waiting around for people to change and I know that's largely on me, too. I don't do what I should do for people a lot of the time-- I'm just questioning whether she's intending to take this even remotely seriously. When someone tends to lie it makes things even murkier.
You are not a dick for looking out for yourself. Sometimes when we ask for advice we might not like what we hear. Relationships require work and support from BOTH parties. From the limited info I have I would have to say time apart would do you both some good. You can focus on school, and she can focus on not dying. good luck to you both
Nothing you can do, your girlfriend must have a *want to want* she has the problem and also the cure..just be around for her.... I wish the best of luck.
It comes down to this, and throw out personal guilt here, throw it out the door and disassociate to a degree here, Mist. You are part of her life and her in yours, BUT nobody should be waiting hand and foot in the halls of romance for someone else. You might have affection for her, but just because you might care, that's not enough sometimes to maintain a relationship. IF SHE GETS HER SHIT together in time, ok awesome. But I tell everybody with problems with substance abuse to absolutely forget doing the boyfriend and girlfriend thing as the motivation for breaking those habits which have become a negative in your life. Going back to being single should be seen as a neutral.
Seeing as I don't know much I'm going to not do drugs for at least the time she's in there. We can talk about the next step when the time comes.
From what i have read sounds like you two really need to work on trust and communication. I hope that she really wants to and tries to better herself for the relationship and for herself. You can only quit something if you really want too. No one can make her truly quit. YOU can be there for her and try to guide her through it and help her. If you want this relationship to last communicate with her every day while shes in rehab. Call her and let her call you or whatever i know they usually have limited priveleges with outside comunication. And i agree with everything that nyxx said. I think you should do whats best for you. Do what your heart tells you or your gut. I wish you both the best of luck
There's some really good advice here. I don't have much to add except I feel for you. Went thru the same thing myself. The most gorgeous babe I've ever known was also a beautiful person but got hooked on smack. Don't know where she is now or even if she's alive. You can help as much as you're able but you can't do it for her. good luck with it whichever way it goes.
Waiting for someone to change is like watching grass grow.. you can toss the seed in your yard.. and sit and watch it.. but there's no guarentee that it'll grow... or how fast it'll grow... you can help it out and nurture it and give it support to help it grow.. but still.. there could always be things that prevent it from growing.. and that's when you say fuck it and get sod
Thanks for all the replies. We were on skype for about 4 hours working out what to do, and we came to an understanding where we talked about our frustrations and we have a game plan. We're sticking with it, seeing her and hearing her reminded me that I care too much to not work at this. Self sacrifice for someone you care about is a necessity. Day by day, we go on.
ok...is all the sappy support talk finished yet?... ..its my turn.....please do not think i am being mean here...y'all know i am not the ''sugar coating'' type dude...bail...bail and bail fast...this girl is gonna fuck up your life for ever 3 rehabs and a mental ward?....before she is what?...21?.... lets say you are so committed that you are gambling the rest of your life on this girl...which you are.... it is gonna be hospitals and jails and pills and counselors and visitations and child services and std's and court and more court and disappearances and infidelity and stuff being thrown and broken and stolen and pawned and mistrust and lies and crying[very little make up sex] and maybe at the end a funeral and that is years and tears of incredibly horrible shit cause you have an attachment thing going on........because you wanna be invested bail the fuck out of there and find a normal person...let her family try and fix her...i guarantee they hate you and blame you anyway. ..you only live once...why live with that awful fucking misery
