so ok Im a glutten, I posted here months ago, probally januaryish my wife had left me in key west, after a bunch of shit I made my way home to canada, gota job paid her rent, as well as my own, kissed her ass left right and sideways, casue I was just really hurting without her. quit my job cause she didnt like it, sold my bus cause she didnt like it, and so on and so on I havnt re connected with any of my friends ...cause she didnt like them told her I wasnt going back on the road with my tribe...cause she didnt like it... k thats my life I thought I could leave my freedom, thought I could be happy I cant make her happy Ive been working 70 hrs a week, she has taken off on me what 4 times, two with the kids and 2 time she left me with them...the last time was before I had to go to workt a day at work almost lost my job, got written up at work arranged day care...then she shoes abck up Im on a weeks vacation, I woke up at about 11 3o after finally getting a good sleep, she bicthed a bit said something about e doing nothing...70 hrs a weeks nothingnow? she woint cook for me, if she cleans up after me I hear about it for weeks, shes gone away 4 times this summer I have once I quit drinking, she wont stop puffin away my pay checks Im still the bad guy? she tells me the only reason she is with me is so she doesnthave tow ork and she can stay at home with the kids it was too much of a pain for her to get on a bus and pay the rent so that was three weeks late, ( I start work at 5:30 am and get home around 9:30-11 pm) she tells me n the phone, when I just called from work appologising that I wasnt mroe patient when I wake up ...after sleeping 4 hrs and rushing to get to work so she tells me the only way she will be with me is if I stay 3 ft away from her no lovin no kissin........ k this is bunk what kind of person am I? seems like Im a bitch lately I guess I was taking it as my own punsihment I did some bad shit cheated on her and maybe focused moreon my tribe than her...that was a long time ago, Im sober now....not liking it to tell youthe truth I just cant go threw anymore. I work crazy hours my work is transfering me to edomonton, linz doesnt care as long as I send her money she doenst understand why I want my wife with her heres my vactaion and she takes off so she can take a vacation....didnt tell me that though just never came home yet..... fuckin eh now do you think she is bieng a bitch purposley? maybe to drive me away? or do you think she is testing my commitment? punishing me? fuck I dont know peace
Are you hitting the rigs? You kind of make it sound like you're in Grand Praire or somesuch hole. Because its sort of the run-of-the-mill thing there. The woman get stir crazy.
sounds like she's majorly pissed at you and doesn't believe you genuinely care for her. the two of you need to be on the same page to provide for your kids or this will end badly. i don't know if you're doing this, but often men think throwing a paycheck at the problem should be enuf. you are to be commended for working hard to support your kids, but if you think about it...there's a whole lot more required to make a happy family than money. try to make sure you're approaching the problem from a place of love rather than anger. you talked alot about the things you gave up 'for her'. maybe you need to clear your head and get in touch with your heart again. maybe then the answers will come to you.
well Im in hamilton now, but I am in a similar business,,,,,just not oil, could never bring myself to selling that far out into babylon. I work for a trenchless technology company. our work schedual is the same whenI hit edmonton in a week and a half, three weels on one off, though for the last 5 months Ive been working straight 14-18 hr days most weekends off. thing is she seems happier when Im at work. man I think I know the answer to my own question, I just didnt want to be the one to give up on this, we have two kids, been together 7 years married for 5 ....
clear my head..... we were free, we had everything I had ever dreamed of, a bus freedom a tribe, travel money is a new concept to our relationship, im not fond of this....its just another thing Im doing for her. I think your right though I do need to clear my head, I need myself back.
not tryin to bust your chops, dude...but i found it interesting that you said "we had everything I had ever dreamed of". maybe the problem is that you're not dreaming together. what are her dreams? a relationship won't work unless you're sharing a common dream. you have a wife now and her dreams matter too. you have children now, and they will have dreams as well. your wife may already sense that you're out the door, and that may be affecting her behavior towards you.
thast interesting I thought about that whenm I wrote "I" though tahtw as the plan, that was the life I had always lived and wanted, we traded it for babylon when the kids were too young too travel, then got abck into it. Ihave asked her SO many times what she wants out of life, she wants to be a mom ok shes got that now, what else no answer I have made everything she wanted happen for her, when I ask her what she wants, I make it happen now what, shes not happy despite anything I do, thats the point I keep doing it, I keep giving my life away, giving my dreams away, she doesn't even know what she wants, give her space, did that oh by the way she came home, now shes happy..... wanna take bets too see how long that changes my computer says its sunday 5:29....as an experement lets see and document this. how far do I have to go into hell before its far enough......
and fuck yes I am looking for someone to say...thats far enough someone to give me justification.... remember...Ive given my friends up......I have no interaction anymore this hell this is my life
no one can give you justification. only you can know if you're really justified in walking away...and you are hesitating to do that. so there must be some knowledge in your heart that you're not doing everything you can to make this relationship/family work. sounds like the last time you were apart, you weren't happy either...so there's that to consider too. maybe what's needed is some creative thinking about new solutions to problems, instead of revisiting the old efforts at solutions that didn't work out well. one thing for sure, nursing regrets and resentments about sacrifices you've made isn't going to make things better.
i don't know if i agree with lady of the freaks... it sounds like both of you are incredibly unhappy. maybe you're hesitating leaving because of the kids, because you have no other ppl to turn to to help you get through this, because a change that big is hard, because ex-wives who have custody of the children can be more vindictive than wives.... i don't know what you did to make her so angry... were you taking off a lot before without her, with your bus and tribe? is she trying to even the score somehow? even so, from what she says and how she acts, she's completely pushing you away and doesn't want to have anything to do with you except with your money. she can get your money without you giving up your life completely. if somehow you honestly deep down want to try to make it work, i suggest counseling. but she has to be on the same page as you. you both have to want to make it work, and it sounds like neither of you do right now. to be honest though, i'd be scared divorcing her... BUT you will be allowed to move on, make new friends or reconnect with old ones, etc... allowed to find happiness that she isn't allowing you to have at all right now
she sounds depressed, the kind of depression that turns to anger and rage have you two considered couples counselling perhaps?
Tru Although dont be surprised when the counselor points out problems with your life style that may be relative. If you lived in/on a bus like that in NJ.....child services would surely be at your door. Hope you can work it out.
weve dealt with child services, as long as we have bathing/cooking facilities ect everything a house would. then they dont have an issue. Its our right canadian or american to live and to bring our children up the way way we see fit. I am roma this si our culture, true its not prevelant in north america, nonethe less its how I am how my kids should be. my children see more than people ten times there age, they have circled the continent. over and over the learn culture first hand, they are imersed into different languages animal and geographic studies, its one thing to teach about tectonic plates, its another to drive the entire length of the rockies and show he the colloding of teh earth, show them the ice fields of the artcic, show them the desert and the difference between high and low desert by actually going there.......
Your children suffrer the most in this situation, work things out or divorce, for them. You don't want them to be frustrated just for growing up in unfunctional mariage.
shes not roma. though lately shes been dissapeering like a gypsy quite a bit. I have no idea where her and the kids are right now.....bit worried actually
then it would stand to reason that she might find raising children on the road difficult to adapt to psychologically.
you think...... sorta late for that though. so should I just become a miserable babylonian, livin like everyone else? should I pretend to thik for a second thats an ok lifestyle for my children? society say whatever the fuck it wants too, this shit is wrong slaves who live their whole lives as slaves thinkin their free....... not for my blood. but thats the point isint it? its not for me I cant be someone I am not for anyone else. I have to be true to myself, and I guess she does too.
Blinkin, Welcome back. I remember reading your story. I won't say I know exactly how you feel, but I certainly can relate. Although the counseling idea is a sound one, if she won't go, then it's time to be true to yourself. Don't feel as thought you are the one giving up on the relationship. You might tell her you are tired of being the sole supporter, both financially and emotionally. If she has taken to disapearing alot, then maybe she is seeing someone else on the side. Yes, divorce is expensive, but so isn't you getting so mentally burned out that you keep losing jobs. Dude, this ride is about to stop. You need to make sure it stops in a good way, instead of crashing. If she won't see a councelor, then you need to see a lawyer. You gave up your bus, your tribe, and your friends and the booze. What has she given up?
