Hi guys, I just joined the forum and not sure which section I should put this post in but of course a moderator can move it. Well I'm contemplating going to a brothel main reason being I am 25 years old (male) never had a girl friend or been kissed, my social life is well, I don't have one. My health has always had the better of me and I do not have confidence at all to try to get a girl friend then get shot down. My thoughts of going to a brothel are maybe not even for full sex service, I mean all I really want is to fool around with a girl minus the sex, I'd be to worried to have sex in a brothel knowing my luck I would contract STD, though the brothels I have researched that are in range from me both say they are 100% hygienic facility. What I wanna know is what would the pros and cons of going to a brothel be and can you pay for like a full hour etc but not have sex but do other sexual things, if i were to consider having sex at one to loose my virginity would it be emotionally damaging in any way? Also what would girls think of me if I did get a girl friend in the future and told her I went to a brothel for either fooling around or full sex services? Please this is a serious question I do not know what to do.
Most brothels in developed European countries are very clean, and if you use a condom properly, your risk of contracting an STI is minimal. However, this will not solve your social problems, and these are best solved by participating in activities like volunteering, taking classes, joining local sports clubs, etc. This is also a good thing to discuss with your doctor, pastor, or anyone you respect who understands the importance of confidentiality. I strongly advise you to talk to some people before you visit a brothel.
Going there would not be really to fix my social problems that was just an example of why I have never had a girl friend before, it would be mainly to satisfy my curiosity about the opposite sex, for instance, I've never really seen a girl naked (besides TV n movies) in real life, I wanna know what things feel like I wanna know what it feels like to have a girl do things to me. I have thought of things like I am starting University soon and if I don't get a girl friend with in a set time I will go to a brothel or something I mean I don't wanna be 30 and a virgin but at the same time I don't really want my first time to be in a brothel, its a really tough choice and there isn't really any one I feel comfortable enough asking this stuff to that's why I searched for an appropriate forum. In short and not getting to deep into things, I want to have sex andd fool around with her but doing it at a brothel? I'm worried it would be emotionally damaging in any way?
I wouldn't go to a brothel to fool around. Those aren't the kind of girls you fool around with, not with your face anyways. I can't see it being emotionally damaging, but you're a young man, and you might regret it one day in the future. Just as well, any potential future partners might not think so much of it. You mentioned that you're starting university soon. If it wouldn't be rude of me, I'd recommend taking this time to improve your health and your social skills. You will meet all sorts of people at school and will possibly create some great relationships. Only if you extend yourself though. You wouldn't want to sleep through an experience like that. As for being worried about being a virgin; being a virgin (or not a virgin) means nothing. Where your dick has or hasn't been has nothing to do with the person you are. Be a good person and people will like and respect you. Being sexually inexperienced isn't a big deal. If you find the right person you'll have plenty of time to practice.
go to the brothel, don't lick her pussy, and wear a condom. the fact that you claim to be a 25 year old male worried about being emotionally damaged by sex looks pretty trolly.
http://www.thelasvegascourtesan.com/nevada-brothels/ google 'nevada brothels' to get the complete listings....i have no clue if the link above is complete or current. my experience over the years with women has led me to the conclusion that a clean prostitute for sex...and maybe for discussion...would be every bit as rewarding emotionally and physically as any 'girlfriend' or wife that i had. considering some of the mental conditions of the xgf's/wives, a couple of them lying like a rug and one or two stealing...i cannot see how a prostitute in a nevada brothel could be much more dangerous, and certainly not as hard to get rid of when they go apeshit. the costs of a prostitute would be on the table; a wife or girlfriend...you frickin' never know what they're going to cost you. listen to tina turner's 'what's love got to do with it' before you get serious with some woman...free advice from an old goat. if you want to consider facts and not bullshit...call them. be wary, but ask your questions. if they are worth a damn, they will discuss things openly with you. they're in business, just like any other business...if your phone conversation doesn't sound like 'the customer is king', then you called the wrong one. always wear a condom....people all lie about their sexual activities...better a condom than aids.
Having been in the almost exact situation as you, I know from personal experience that going to a brothel was a good choice. I was a 23 year old virgin when I heard about a brothel not too far away from me. I made the choice to go there to lose my virginity. As it turns out that was the best choice for me personally. I wasn't a bad looking guy and previously had girls that were interested in me but I just wasn't ready. I was socially akward and was super nervious around women. Going to a brothel on my terms and being able to know I was basically in control of the situation took the pressure off. I did the deed and it did help me get over my hump socially and I'm a lot more open now. Since had serveral woman and girlfriends. I told two girl friends about my experience and one was more shocked that I had to go and the other was actually cool with the idea. Granted not all women will feel this way but I personally have no regrets.
Honkster, just curious - did the brothel or at least your "partner" there, know you were a virgin? And if so, do you think they "handled" you a bit differently than a "normal john" (like maybe a special "virgin package )?
I don't think she knew right away but she knew probably mid-sex. I was awful haha. She kinda took control and was very nice to me after. She gave me a hug and a sprite and walked me out the door haha.
Like Honkster, I think I've made the right decision frequenting brothels. I had my first sexual experience without paying, but honestly the only difference was that money didn't exchange hands. The risk of STIs, emotinal damage, and stigma (for instance, the stigma of having sex before marriage) were all there. To me it seems as though there is always some readily available stigma if you look for it. I have learned a lot of invalueable things about myself from professionals. Not the least of which that I can make a lot of women cum...they were faking it. The only questions I can answer are: a) I prize my experience with hookers; b) I have told all my non-paying girlfriends about my experiences with sex workers and they were understanding, even curious; c) I have been frequenting brothels off and on for about 10 years and I have yet to contract any sexually transmitted infections. Ultimately, I would like to meet a bisexual girlfriend who wishes to go to brothels with me. And set my dick on fire once and for all...:2thumbsup: Good luck in whatever choice you make.
there's a lot of issues to contemplate here one is that you say your health is not so good. working on your health will probably make you happier, and also make it more likely that you find a relationship. regular gentle excercise, meditation, tai-chi, yoga, qi-gong can all be good for many health problems. avoiding processed food and try to eat mostly fresh cooked whole foods served warm (that's my take on it at least) can be good for you. seeing a good md/ getting a second opinion might be good. also maybe seeing an acupuncturist/ chinese herbalist. ejaculating only infrequently might help. frequent ejaculation can drain your energy. not ejaculating frequently can help keep your sexual energy high, which can naturally help you connect with a partner. it sounds like what you would really like is a gf. putting some more effort into finding one might be your best bet. you could see a councilor about the problems you've had with establishing relationships. you could try dating services, etc. so if what you really want is a gf, then it's going to be worth your while to put some effort into finding one prostitution seems to me like it should be a last resort, if you are not willing to wait to get a gf or if being in a relationship is unappealing to you there are a number of dangers and problems. some prostitutes are victims of human trafficking. many are traumatized, victimized, or addicts. there is certainly an std danger. there is also a danger, as you mentioned, that it would be an emotionally negative experience. there is also a danger that you would get ripped off by the hooker. I don't know where you are and what options that you have available to you, but I know that there is something called sexual surrogacy that you might want to check into. so it's basically prostitution, but that is designed to be therapeutic. I think that this would address a lot of your conderns another option is that if you just want to fool around, you could go to a strip club. laws vary from place to place, but there are certainly places where you could get a girl to grind on your dick and play with her tits. if you do go the prostitution route, the safest thing is to get a handjob, or get a bj while wearing a condom. if you fuck her, certainly wear a condom, but be aware of "ring around the collar" herpes. don't ass fuck her, anal sex is pretty high risk for std's. maybe do some reading about std's beforehand, even if you just want to fool around. could be that you get talked into more. be ready to stand your ground and defend your interests, there are certainly hookers that would try to rip you off or push you into services you don't want. never forget that she is a hooker also never forget that she is a human being, quite possibly one who is suffering, doesn't want to be there, and is sick of being treated as a sex object. find one that you can make a connection with, try to be as loving as possible. so to summarize, I think the best thing to do is to get medical treatment and counciling. then trying to find a gf. if that fails and you don't want to wait, maybe sexual surrogacy or a strip club. brothel is last. oh, and maybe try to find one that is a little classier than the others hope the situation resolves in the best way possible
I would recommend starting off at a strip club. Go as many times as it takes for you to get comfortable with being around naked women, and talking openly with them about sex and eroticism. I think having your first sexual encounter with a pro is a great idea for anyone who can afford it. I don't know where you are, but an upper-end escort service would be your best bet in the US for finding a reasonably intelligent girl who would understand your situation and handle it well. Be honest with her; tell her exactly what your goals are for the evening. She can teach you how to treat a lady, and your first real girlfriend will benefit greatly from your knowledge. What will future girlfriends think about this adventure? You don't have to tell them. What we are talking about here is nothing resembling an emotional relationship; you're just learning how everything works, physically. I think it is entirely optional if you choose to tell this story to girls that you haven't met at the time this takes place. Very few people marry a virgin anymore, so there is no assumption of innocence or "purity", whatever the hell that is. If you were dating me, I wouldn't pressure you to tell the story of every sexual experience you've had in the past. As long as you don't have incurable STDs, all that matters is right now. Fail. Everybody deserves to be treated with basic human respect, but these girls understand and accept what they do for a living. Give them a little credit for knowing how the world works. They get paid to be sex objects because they are HOT, and they know it. They would rather do this job than be ugly and poor. Trust me on this. I've known some girls who had...well, plenty of experience in this field. If you like them, give them big tips. It's all about the money for them. Emotionally fragile girls don't stay in this for long.
Ain't no "free love" at a brothel. Better to find some equally desperate girl on the internet (ie, craigslist, etc) and both have some fun and maybe start something more lasting and fun, than to get infected, degraded, and used at a brothel.
fail fail. maybe some or many understand and accept what they do for a living, but for example, there are a significant number that are victims of human trafficking. So some have been kidnapped and are basically sex slaves (this may not happen so much in the states, but it does happen). More commonly here, there are girls that start off as independents, but a pimp threatens and forces them into service. Pretty common for predators to push hard drugs on runaways, then pimp them out. Even in situations where girls are not getting pimped out, it's pretty common for hookers to be addicts, have sexual abuse histories, or mental health issues. I don't think that that is every girl though. There are lots of different reasons why girls get into prostitution, and I think there is usually a mix. That they like to fuck and like money are common reasons. Some girls are going to be more comfortable with what they do than others. I bet there are some happy hookers out there, or some who like what they do much better than doing a 9-5 maybe not, but I think there's a lot of turn over
Not at an upper-end escort service. That's part of why I think they are worth the extra cost. The human trainwreck girls that you are talking about walk the streets or work the low-end brothels. They can't earn top dollar with their shitty attitudes and flaky behavior. I don't understand why anyone would want to hire them. Being desperate enough for sex to pay a junkie off the street is one part of male thinking that I have never been able to comprehend. Nothing good is going to come from dealing with those people. Save your money and hire someone from a place that has been listed in the phone book for a few years. There are no bargains in this business. Did you know that some liberal, progressive fathers actually hire upper-end pros for their virgin sons? (I wonder what percentage of the mothers are not told of the plans.) They want their sons to know what they are doing when they finally get a real girlfriend, and they know that you can't learn it all from a book or video. If the future girlfriend is not a virgin, she may have no patience for incompetent male virgins, and a relationship with serious potential could go down the drain before it has a chance. If the girlfriend is a virgin, she will probably prefer to be with a guy who knows what he is doing, for her first time. That would be less painful (physically) for her. In other words, the guy may be better off to deal with his virginity problem before there are other complications. Sometimes you can find a female friend or acquaintance who is open-minded about serving in this training role for free, but I see no moral difference whether or not she gets paid. It still isn't a real romance. I have been with virgin guys before. It really does take a lot of patience and understanding. The funniest and most pathetic part of it is when a guy thinks that if he doesn't admit to being inexperienced, the girl won't figure it out. Let's get real. The girl is going to know.
I'm 28 and in the same situation, bro. I've spent countless years fretting over being alone, not being with anyone, not getting laid ... the list goes on. You'll learn to get over it and accept that certain things are more difficult to come by then for others. It's hard for guys like us to be chick magnets. One woman I met a couple years ago I've had frequent and delightful conversations with. We'd share anecdotes, she would give me lovely hugs. She is a real doll, and she seemed to give me all the signals indicating she liked me, but in the end when I repeatedly said we should spend time together she was so disinterested. I got over it. We still talk, but I know it's not in the cards. This has been my life in a nutshell. What I can suggest is if you're not confident about meeting women to date them is just friend them. That's how many relationships begin. Over time, show them how loyal and caring and dependable you can be. Learn to be more comfortable around them, you'll be surprised how much you'll change. If you want to hit up a brothel, go for it man. I certainly will hit up a classy one in Nevada soon. Just make sure you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the women there are screened FREQUENTLY for STIs and wear a condom because it's the smart thing to do. If in the future you meet a girl and are afraid she will freak out if she knows you spent time with a prostitute, just get to know the girl well enough before you date her. If you get a good read off her and she seems like she would be fine with it, just mention it and get her reaction. If she's cool, ask her out when the time's right. Just know that you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket. If a girl rejects, you there are plenty of fish in the sea. It's just a matter of time. p.s. Sex is sex, whether you pay for it or not. You've felt one vagina, you've felt them all. Shouldn't matter if you pay for it or not.
