Got one Mom question.

Do you think it's right for my mom to use my hair to get good grades meaning, If I get 1 C a dread gets cut off do you think that's fair? Cause now I'm getting scared....

 

hm.. dont know. guees its good motivation for you to do your homework, haha. my parents let me just try as hard as i could and if i got a C, i'd say i couldnt grasp the subject anymore than i did, and they go "oh ok". ... i probably would have failed a lot if they started giving me rules like that (they realized when i was young not to threaten me/tell me i cant do something).

 

hell no! thats not a resonable way to motivate u at all. YOU are your motivation. if u wanna get good grades, then try a little harder in school. I know its not easy, because i fail most of my classes haha, but just try enough to get by i guess.
~ a C isnt even that bad of a grade. its right in the middle u should talk to ur mom and try to comprimise about the cutting off ur dreads thing. because its ur hair man, and i dont understand why she would do that... i mean how would she like it if everytime she didnt succeed in something parts of her hair were chopped off.
~its just a mean thing to do to a dreadhead. god knows i love each and everyone of my dreads, i would be heartbroken to see someone cut even half of one off because of school, i already hate school enough so having something being taken away from me because of it, that would be devistating haha and i would be outraged lol.
good luck man~peace

 

Scorpius, this is what you say:

"Mom, if you use my grades as a means to stifle my self expression, than I will always resent you for that. If you threaten my hair as a means to improve my scholastic performance, than I will never forget how you strong armed me. Why not support me in the first of what will be a lifetime of adult decisions? I know that you don't like my hair, and that's okay with me! I'm not asking you to like them; I'm asking you to respect my hair, to respect me, and most importantly, to respect my decisions. I am rapidly growing into my own person, and this was a choice of mine to be that person that I am ready to be. Don't use it to treat me like a child."

Of course, you might want to change the vocabulary to something more appropriate. I gave a very similar talk to my mom when I was 17 and did my first set. Now that I'm 21 and starting my second set, she loves them and tells everyone how unique and beautiful her son's locks are.

But before you follow my advice, how old are you? How is your relationship with your mother? Is she trusting and observing? Or is she presumptive and punitive?

 

Threaten to cut her hair if she dosnt act like a good mother...

 

I think it's perfectly reasonable. There are consequences for your actions...if you don't get good grades, then you suffer the consequences. Mom probably knows your hair important to you, so it's the perfect motivation for you to get good grades.

 

If I was the mom in the sitch, I'd probably only use this as a LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST resort..

 

Thanks guys I just dont think it's right to do what she wants to do when i get a fucking C.... Idk Ill talk to her later maybe I jsut dint think it's right to do this to ME... I know it seems im defending myself but shes using my hair to get better grades... christ oh well we'll see what happens. If she puts anything near me that will cut-em ill run to my uncles or sisters or something heh.

 

I feel your frustration brother, but I wouldn't run. I would be the adult I was growing into, and stand up for myself. I would also respect and love my mother regardless.

Namaste, and good luck!

 

Getting good grades in High School is not hard...

Pretty much you have to do absolutely nothing in order to fail...and doing a HALF ass job will get you a C, at least...

Instead of fighting it, why not just try and get decent marks?

 

Yea Ill still try...

 

I don't think it's right, but that's just my opinion. That's like saying, you have to strip your hair of its color if you get bad grades and have dyed hair. oh well, parents do what they think is best, even if it doesn't always make sense to those around us...

Good luck in your studies.

Peace and love

 

Idk about any of you, but school isnt easy for me at all. I hate it. and to have someone say that if i dont do good in it that they are going to cut my hair. that would devistate me. and i wouldnt change anything about how hard i work in school. i would fight against her because its your right to be who you want. Im sure our mom is just lookin out for you and wants you to be the best that you can, but she could at least be reasonable with you, and talk to you about wat the consequences are before she sets them.
-im sorry but this is really bothering me that you might have dreads that are cut in half because of a grade. your grade isnt who you are man, you can still be somethin in this world and become successful even if u fail a class or two.. i know i will peace~

 

looks like you better hit the books dude

 

I really don't agree with whoever said getting good grades in high school is easy... it's not for everyone.

That said, I can't really tell if your mom is being unfair or not because I don't know the entire situation. If you're screwing up and working below your potential than your mom might be desperate to get you back on track. If you've struggled with school your entire life no matter how hard you try than that's a different story as you need help (or for her to accept that C's are the best you can do), not punishments.

If it's the first situation than you better stop slackin and start workin! If it's the second than you need to have a long talk with her.

 

thanks gaiabee, btw are you a parent or a intellegent child oO heh

 

Compared to college...high school is a breeze.

 

It doesn't have to be fair. You live in her house, she gets to make the rules. It's that simple.


Go get a job, buy all your own groceries, and pay for your own rent, and electricity, and water, and cable tv, and internet access, and clothes, then you can make your own rules. Until then, you have to play the game your Mom's way.

 

Yup...I don't think kids get that part...

I agree with you on all of the above.

 

1. you have the right to be yourself whatever anyone thinks (yes even your mum)

2.high school is not a breeze for everyone and comparing it to college is relative. after alll hard and easy are just abstracted from disffculty so what one person thinks is easy is hard for another.

3.if you are actully slacking off in school your mum may be using this as motivation but that doesnt justify it.

4.so what if there paying for everything its your fucking job as a parent to
do that if a teenager could sustain his/her life iam sure they would if they really wanted to keep their hairstyle.

5. Saying when you start paying your own bills etc is like saying "solve world hunger and i wont cut out your dreads" its not going to happen and it gives him no choice.

6.i think she probably hates your hair and is just getting desperate and using this as a way to make you take them out. either that or you really are not trying and just flunking everything, but after seeing your posts you really dont seem like that kind of person. so DONT GIVE IN, just talk to her about it and make her realise how ridiclous it is, and if that fails well you just have to a. get good grades or b.deal with it. makes me glad i dont have parents like that.