Grrrrrrrrrrrr

Okay, I'm sorry for the rant, but its bothering me so freaking much. I'm so sick of women. I really am. I'm a nice guy. I don't drink, I don't party, I don't sleep around (I've never even had sex), and a bad thing about someone hardly ever leaves my mouth, so why in god's name am I single? Why is it that I keep finding the "perfect girl" for me, and then they end up stepping on my heart and crushing it? Why the hell is there not a decnt girl out there who won't hurt me??? All women ever do is whine and complain about how guys are assholes, and blah blah blah, while I sit here and get screwed-over by them all. I'm so tired of it. I'm tired of hearing "I love you" over and over, and then once they get bored of me, they drop me like a bad habit. Women, tell me why. Tell me why the hell you do this to me. All I want is a good girl who I can treat right. Who I can cuddle with while we watch a funny movie under covers. Who I can lay in the grass with and watch the stars at night, and laugh about how dumb our families are. I just don't get it...please someone tell me what I'm doing wrong...

 

i like nice boys
but jester is right
its the masochistic side of us that go for the assholes
you'll find someone

 

Actually...I'm not going to give you flak at all. I do actually agree with you for the most part. I guess my whining comes from being stepped-on by women just one too many times. I'm really starting to feel like being a good person is just a waste of time because I never get anything in return for it. That, and I'm just a guy who just doesn't seem to do well on his own. I'm a much MUCH happier person with someone else in my life. I'm happy with myself, I am, but I'm just very lonely. But I do agree with you, Jester, and thanks for the input.

 

you have to be more aloof, women, scratch that, people don't like the smell of desperation, it makes them feel trapped and they seek out a more carefree relationship.

I'm just guessing that you come off a little uptight, loosen up a bit and have some fun, and don't think "this is the one" every time you meet someone interesting, just take it as it comes

 

Boring. All you'll do is snag the hoes. But perhaps most boys are happy with that anyway.

I agree with what you said about the whining and attitude, however. The rest is bs and made to attract the wrong kind of girl.

 

I think many people who have had the ill fortune of experiencing an asshole (male or female) know exactly what you're going through. "What the fuck did I do wrong? I was kind and open, friendly and reliable." It's as if everything you were raised to believe would somehow do good, is actually backfiring. Understandably, naivete also plays a large role.

Try and understand that there are assholes, and there are wonderful people. Sometimes even wonderful people slip up and make mistakes. But never become so jaded that you start to become a loser or an asshole yourself.

It's easy to harden your heart. But it's a load of hype and nothing but air inside. Stick to your morals if you're a nice guy. At the end of the day, you answer to no one but yourself. And if you cannot have a clear conscience nor be honest, will you recognize yourself one day?

 

Oooh, moron. Do you feel better inside, gangsta?

His attitude and blaming others or himself can change even though I understand sometimes situations come up and even the kindest or smartest people fall for it. It's only becoming too jaded that's damaging, imo. The world isn't out to get you. And frankly, they win anyway with your beautiful transformation into the perfect asshole due to their actions. Is that clear enough for you?
_____

I disagree with it being different tactics. Treating someone like shit is NOT the way to keep someone, and the same for attracting them. But that's just me.

 

Meh. Semantics.

You're telling him to grow a spine and become an asshole (fire for fire). I am not.

All the best, Butters.

 

Haha, I'm not going to become an asshole just because people tell me to. I like being a nice guy. I'm just tired of my nice-ness never being noticed and appreciated.

 

Its not being an asshole in itself that women are attracted to. Its other qualities, like being a bit wild or fierce sometimes, and that carefree "i dont need a woman" attitude. And other things as well im sure.

Being "mr nice guy" can be a bit boring for them i think - there are plenty of them out there and i think all have the same problem. But its definately possible to have all the right qualities and not be an asshole, and still be a nice guy inside.

 

i think a big part of your problem is your self defeat. i mean, read your first post- i feel BAD for you. girls dont like to feel 'bad' for someone they are going to be in a relationship with. one of the most attractive features a person can have is self assurance. a guy shouldnt feel like he needs a girlfriend to be happy (and visa versa). once you are happy with yourself (which means stopp your complaining, id hate to know what youve whined about to past girlfriends), you will find that girls become happy with you too.

if your not emotionally ready for a girlfriend, then dont go look for one. i always find a partner when i least expect it and am not looking.

get a hobby, hang out with friends, and all of this mess will fall into place. good luck!

 

Thats the thing though, I don't whine to girls. I never have before. I've never whined about anything to any past girlfriends at all. The reason I'm whining now is the fact that I'm sick of it. Its not that I necissarily "need" a girlfriend to be happy, I'm more or less just sick and tired of girls hurting me.

 

And also, I'm not trying to start an argument or anything, but girls whine and complain all the time about not finding a decent guy, so why is it not okay for a guy to whine about not finding a decent girl? That always irks me too...

 

They've probably felt the same self-defeat as you...

People whine and complain when they don't get what they want. This includes MEN and WOMEN.

Don't whine and complain about people who wine and complain...

 

Dear sweet, sensitive Butters,
What kind of women are you going after? Perhaps that needs a good lookin' at first. Then you will realize why they treat you so poorly. Not all women want abusive pricks like Jester. Honestly. But his posts have a tiny thread of truth in them. People with self confidence attract more dates. There's a point where being cocky becomes detrimental to the relationship (Jester has gone way beyond that point). You absolutely have to have a healthy balance of self assuredness and compassion for others. What you gotta do is start having fun, without anyone. Live your life to the fullest, and you will find that people start wanting to share it with you. You have to love yourself first. Not just like yourself, but honestly love the person you are. If you can't do that, nobody else can either.

 

Butters. I feel for you. Ok, let's begin.

1 - ignore what mama just wrote. For some reason, a lot of older women simply pretend that women are never attracted to InsaneJester types.

2 - Read what InsaneJester posted. He is right. I say, again. He is right. Women ARE attracted to the BIGGEST assholes. Always have been, always will. But, very, very women will be honest enough and admit this. For some reason, women do not like 'nice' guys knowing they are unattractive to women. It's like a kind of torture in a way!

3 - Read - with horror but dazzling wisdom - the numerous posts by retrogroove girl about her prize asshole. I rest my case.

Do you have to become an asshole, then? No. But use the qualities assholes use without thinking. Try it for a couple of weeks. You will never look back.

 

^^^^^^ That's the reason you're single.^^^^^^

 

Confidence is key

not necessarily being an asshole

But a confident man is a nearly irresistable man

 

As women get older they learn what they really want. Young women don't necessarily know what they want. Older, more mature women, want men who are sweet, nice, caring and mature.

Younger, less mature women are still trying to figure out what they want...so they go through the bad apples before they get to the good apples...

How many women actually MARRY the bad apples/big assholes? Very few...and if they do, they end up getting divorced...

 

If you want to attract a young, shallow, foolish, insecure woman, for a romp in the hay and nothing more, listen to this advice, and that of Jester. If you want a meaningful relationship, one that will withstand the test of time, listen to what us more mature women are trying to say. Sure lots of girls are attracted to those assholes, but it's because of their self-confidence and not because of their abusive attitudes and behavior. Not all women are stupid and self-deprecating, just as not all men are dickheads, they are just the ones who seem to get all the attention.


I did marry an asshole when I was young and foolish, it lasted just short of two years. Then I got real lucky to hook up with the nicest guy I've ever known. This fall we will have been together fourteen years! You think Salamander or Jester have ever had a healthy long term relationship? I highly doubt it. If you want respect from people, you have to give it in return. If you want someone to love you, you first have to love yourself. It's true.