guys, tell me the reality please

Hi guys, Im struggling with getting older, losing what were once good looks...(just starting to look over 30's). I have a partner 13 years younger......typical to fuel the fear.....Even though im into fitness and health, and look pretty good I can't help but feel overwhelmed by the the thought that deep down he would prefer to have sex with some one younger? Are all women unattractive to men once they start to....melt like a candle?..sure the intelligence etc can be sexy and attractive...but deep down in the biological recesses of the mind, wouldn't he be thinking about someone else? Some one "ripe" for the sake of procreation? Sure i believe men like a brain, but if the mature brain could be put in the 18 year old head....who would want the aging woman? Help. I feel like posh spice or Demi Moore, Im finding it very difficult to cope. Ready to end relationship and take up knitting. When do you throw in the makeup bag and gym membership and call it a day?

 

Nah, that's rubbish. Demi Moore is still hot (though a little too skinny these days). I have distinct memory of being incredibly attracted to a friend of mine's 30 something sister when I was a senior in high school and I sure as hell wasn't concerned with whether or not she could procreate. I'm 30 (something ahem) now and I find myself incredibly attracted to the mother of a coworker of mine she's in her mid forties and I know that she's had a hysterectomy, but she's a bundle of energy. I sure as hell don't think about her ability to procreate. She's sexy as hell and yeah her age shows, but she's still sexy as hell. It's energy level and optimism that I'm attracted to - made all the more attractive by her age. Don't end a relationship on those grounds.

 

Agreed. There is something special about females older than me. I don't mean to speculate from inside of a relationship but I would have no problem being sexually involved with a woman twice my age. I don't think I could have the same kind of relationship I have with my girlfriend (who is my age), there are certain things that I feel cannot work between the generation gap.

 

I have dated both older and younger then me..I eventualy married someone my own age but that was only due to the fact the woman I was in love with was insecure about our age difference, a bit like you, so she ended it. There was ten years between us. I was 19 she 29 and I loved her with all my heart..To this day she tells me she regrets ending it, I am happily married so we will never know what could have been..

I have seen photos of her and even after 20 years she is still hot(well I think so anyway). My uncle is 54 and his wife is 13 years older then him and they are as happy as can be. They have been together 30 years and still going.

Dont ruin a good thing because you are insecure if you love the guy stick around if he loves you he will too..Just my 2 cents..

Jay

 

I'm sure you're hot

You said you're in shape... You said you feel like Posh Spice for chrissake

How hot do you need to feel to not dump your boyfriend because of your fears?

Cry me a river

 

It sounds to me like you`re batting above your average, and that you`re more into him than he is into you. And, you`re afraid he might cheat on you because he`s got more options than you.

Have you considered dating someone your age?

 

knit him something

it's romantic.

 

Only If You Use "Superfine Welsh Wool"...



Cheers Glen.

 

You said you wanted reality, sex comes first

There are couples in nursing homes still going it hammer ane tongs. Its not about your age. The reality is too many of you use the goods to try control them or extract money from them

Its the insecurities themselves that will do it, all the constant little bitchy comments, attacking him every time a younger girl walks past, the regular little tantrums.

Demi moore', still looks better than most girls half her age, its becuase she would be a total control freak attention whore

Posh spice, batting way above her average in the first place, beckham is one of the hottest guys on the planet

Kik kardashian' imagine being the poor guy married to that, gold digging and attention whoring at its worse

Trying to blame you looks is just projecting blame on to them, men are pigs, men are shallow whatever. Makes them looo bad you look good, its the guys fault. Whereas a lot of the time its really cos the gal has a really shitty personality

You want to hang on go your man, fuck his brains out, until death do you part

 

hi rose,i can't help but wonder if someone said something or something you heard to trigger the way your thoughts are going.number 1 everyone is beautiful.theres only one of all of us.an theres sure nothin' wrong with with feelin' like posh spice or demi moore.i'm a 49yr and i get compared ta looking a lot like julia roberts all the time an i sure dont hava a problem with that either. ha! ha!. so enjoy lookin'like being posh spice an demi moore.also rose,keep in mind attractiveness is'nt all about outside looks.someone could be really good lookin' on the outside,women or men, but if their not attractive on the inside that dont stand for much.cos true beauty goes way beyound skin deep.so chin up rose your beautiful.:daisy:

 

I don't think RoseHippy meant that she doesn't like being told she's as hot as Demi Moore... She meant she feels like people view her as a "cougar", a woman who seeks attention from younger guys so she can still feel young herself. Which is not what she sounds like.

As for the original topic, i can't help much i guess. Because i'm not a guy, and because, even though i'm 33 and have been with younger guys, i have never felt like u Rosehippy. I think u shouldn't worry that much, u can't live your life constantly wondering if your bf wants to be with someone else.

 

Exactly. I`ll pick a girl who has honest fun in bed over a cute princess any day. THE NO.1 THING that turns me off about women is using sex as a control, money, and attention bargaining chip.

 

In Two Simple Sentences You Have Sucessfully

Eliminated Every Woman On This Planet From Your Address Book....

I Can See Now Why You Said A Couple Of Weeks Ago,

That Your Three Closest Friends Were Gay....



Cheers Glen.

 

Yeah, and what is worse is that I`ve eliminated every straight man as well, since they appear to be unable to walk on their own two feet without a trophy princess will-less piece of gooey flesh clinging to their arm.

My scene is really LGBT, for sure.

 

Excuse me? Straight guy here who happens to adore ALL Types of women. I've had ladyfriends who would be considered hot and some not so hot. One of my all time favorite ladies was one that would be consider highly unnatractive. She was hands down the sexiest woman I ever dated. So don't give me that BS about trophies.

 

I know we are supposed to argue, but I agree. :biggrin:

I`ve had the same experience. The best lay of my life was with an unattractive woman and she also says I was her best. Unfortunately, she and I are not fucking anymore because she asked me to pay for something on my credit card and I refused.

She can`t conceive of a man fucking a woman for an extended period of time without commitment and financial favors. She thinks that I`d be using her, even though it`s precisely the opposite.

It`s when a man doesn`t pay that the relationship is equal.

 

Well of course he didnt mean all, but toomany are like that.
I suppose its the male equivalent to goldigging.

Pride, vanity, envy, these are three of the seven deadly sins that apply to relations. One just ends up shooting oneself in the foot with each. Sex is arguably the only thing you dont end up getting bored with, with all materialistic stuff you do.

So i guess a hippie mindset in the end is the answer, one would be a oot less cranky all the time

Although before i joined up here i didnt know purple was a big part of that

 

"deep down he would prefer to have sex with some one younger?
...
deep down in the biological recesses of the mind, wouldn't he be thinking about someone else? Some one "ripe" for the sake of procreation?"

Putting aside the word "prefer" for the moment, not very deep down, men want to have sex with young women. That's true even if their partner is also a young woman. Men are going to look and fantasize no matter who their partner is or how old she is. They are also going to look at tan fantasize about older women.

Now, let's put the word "prefer" back into the equation. Men prefer to come home to a woman who is pleasant and interested in them. Men prefer to come home to a warm familiar place where they can feel comfortable.

If you want men to fantasize about you, then you better be young. If you want your partner to come home to you, your age is unimportant.

Your partner isn't "settling" for you, he is "settling" for monogamy.

 

Okay, I swear I'm not trolling here, and I'm not judging other men (or women for that matter) who subsribe to, or have this belief, but I have to say that when I'm in a relationship with a woman, and I'm into her (which is always the case - otherwise, I wouldn't be in a relationship with her) I don't have any desire to have sex with anyone else. I don't mean to say that I don't notice another attractive looking woman, but I'm not sitting there thinking "man, I'd like to fuck her". I'm thinking, "she's pretty" or "she has nice looking calves" for the instant that she enters and leaves my glance.

The only thing I can compare it to is like taking a figure drawing class and the model comes in and you're drawing her and it's pleasant to view that naked human body, but you're not standing there at the easel with an erection - I mean I know for a fact that it is possible to view an attractive naked person dispassionately and non-sexually and still appreciate the beauty of said person.

I don't get this whole young verses 30 something or middle-age hotness barometer. i don't see that damn much universal difference between an 18 year old adult female and a 40 year old adult female. Furthermore, I'm convinced that all of this young hot "barely legal" bullshit is an artifice, a conditioned response to what some asshole pedophile fashionista or advertising mogul decided to hammer into everyone's fucking brains from the moment we sprung forth from the womb and got planted in front of the damn TV.

And look what it gets us? An average of 2 sex criminals on every fucking city block and a whole lot of men and women gettng all worked up over a few stretch marks, a little cellulite and some goddamn body hair! I've got two metrosexuals in my office whose fucking eyebrows are so sculpted that they look like they just walked out of Lothlorien. Fucking-A - isn't life brutal enough as it is without heaping a bunch of meaningless fabricated stress on top of it? Women are literally fucking dying from obesity AND self-starvation in the west, while babies starve in the third world(s).

This all goes way beyond biology and evolution. Now the medical industry (that's right I said industry) and pharmaceutical industry has gotten in on the action, with this whole youth/beauty worship bullshit and preying on this manufactured age anxiety, which has nothing to do with health - certainly NOT mental health. Why are fucking dentists doing forehead botox now? Yes it's unhealthy to be overweight, but you don't have to look like a pubescent teenager or have botulism injected into your damn forehead to be healthy or to successfully reproduce.

Ah, and now we have this "cougar" stigma - which is complete pop "culture" nonsense and a decade from now people will be laughing at the stupidity of it - that and the disturbing fad of shaving our genitals, labial reduction surgery and taking vasodialators for limp dicks likely caused by circulatory problems and early stage heart disease triggered by all this god damned idiotic fabricated stress! What part of feet binding, clitoral circumcism, neck stretching and squashing our innards with Victorian corsets did/do we not get? Enough already.

 

I was trying to differentiate between "wanting" and "doing" and pointing out that fussing about another's "wanting" is self defeating. If the "doing" is acceptable, the "wanting" is unimportant.