Hardly any sex with gf, please view unique situation

So my lady had to have a medical thing done "down there" and now she isnt really ever in the mood, love the girl to death but she always says im "hounding" her for sex even though we only have it like once every 2 weeks. I think im masturbating more now than ever and im 25!!

I know girls that know me that are like "ill help u with ur problem" but i dont want to cheat on her thatd be pretty terrible thing to do. The bad part is it really isnt her fault and i cant seem to sasify myself.

When we do have the sex, its like, i dont really go down on her (which i really like doing) cuz of her medical stuff down there and what not, this has been going on for a long time now and it just sucks, i guess im more just talking out loud on this....its just really hard for me

 

What are we atlking about "Medical Thing"? Hysterectomy?

If its something like that and she's around your age, then damn dude, its probably hit her very hard she aint going to have kids of her own

 

no no like cyst, painful sex....that kind of fun stuff

 

you're fucked up if you're pissed because sex hurts her and you're 'hounding' her for it.


a mans sexual peak is about 16. a womans is about 32.

 

Shit. I'm at my sexual peak and im not gettin any? Thats fucked.

 

dont panic its 18 to 25.. you got time..lol

a womens is late 30's to early 40's.

 

So how were we supposed to deduce cyst from medical thing down there?


So anyway? Whats the question, what do you need to work out exactly?

It hurts, she doesnt like doing it, play scrabble

 

Brother, I feel for you.

I bet she's not too pleased with the quality of her sex life either.

You're a lucky man to have a woman who's worth it.
She's a lucky woman to have a man like you.

Bummer situation.

 

One of the often ignored qualities in people is sacrafice. When ignored it can lead to many problems, as I was reminded earlier today of a time when it was lacking in me, and has led to a lingering sadness for nearly a decade, but I digress.
The situation sounds temporary, just work on your patience and sacrafice, try to view sex as a gift and not a rite. And then when this all passes, you will be richly rewarded by doing the right thing.

 

She probably would like to have sex with you too, but she is in pain down there. Think about how you would feel if you something went wrong with your stuff.

I think you should respect your girl and give her time. It is only going to hurt things if you pressure her for sex.

 

Yeah i hear ya, and thanks for the kind words, to the people that said its going to be a quick fix...try 3 years and still going....

hence me being the masturbation king, and im not really a bad of whackin it, but now i do it all the time, then just feel bad afterward....thoughts?

 

That maybe you feel guilty because you can enjoy something sexual where as she can't due to pain. I had cysts too, but never to the point that needed anymore medical interference other that going on birthcontrol.

Is it going to get better? Has this medical thing actually made the pain less for her? If not I would suggest that she get a second opinion, there are ways of treating it and making yourself feel better.

 

she has had surgery, however the surgery was the problem, it wasn't done very well and yes its probably permanent...she also is developing barthalonion cysts on the other side now as well.

 

Is this really a "unique situation"?

 

Could she go to a specialist? Maybe have some of the scarring removed?

 

There's nothing to feel guilty about man. keep jackin.

 

Nothing to feel guilty about from jacking it, if she can't satisfy. What you have to feel guilty about is those lingering feelings of wishing you weren't jerking it, but instead hooking up with those girls you mentioned in your first post. Does your Gf know how you feel and how its been affecting you, and is she open to an 'opening' of the relationship? Doubtful, and likely not without good reason.
You've clearly gone a great length hoping the doctors could fix what is wrong with your Gf, but why must you both suffer when there are easy ways to remedy at least one of your pain. Can she not 'lend you a helping hand' every once and a while, despite her inabilities? Its a shame she has medical problems, it would be a bigger shame if she needlessly imposed the consequences of such on you as well, without at least making an effort.

 

I'm in basically the same situation with the exception of the root cause. My wife basically lost all interest in sex after our first son was born. We have a miserable sex life and much like you, she feels that I hound her. Fuck, I have to! I'm getting downright fucking sick of it but what else can I do but leave her. I'm like you, I won't fuck around on her. We've got two great kids and I wouldn't even dare put them through that. But overall man, I feel ya. Youporn is a source of great comfort but can't really be enjoyed because she freaks out about the porn stuff and damn near divorced me over it before. WHAT THE FUCK??? She said that I'm "allowed" to wack it in the shower if I feel the need, but then she sneaks in the bathroom like she's trying to catch me doing it. So when I do anything with myself I have to be so quick about it that when we do have sex, that quickness has now carried over to the bedroom. So now premature ejaculation has become a problem in our relationship. She bitches about that, makes me feel like complete shit and then when I try to explain to her what's happened, she goes off on this pity party rant for herself and how terrible a wife she is. It's a pretty fucked up situation all around. I feel like sex is nothing more than a fucking reward some days. It's tough man, I'm trying to figure it all out too without leaving her. We used to have great sex all the time. At least every other day, things were fun and we got along a lot better. But now sex is like a white elephant for her and a fantasy thought for me. I fucking hate it and it's making me feel hatred towards her somedays. She's always too tired, too this, too that, or the kids won't go to fucking bed. I'm just about over it... I need a NORMAL sex life. I got married, I didn't go off to seminary school to become a fucking priest. A healthy, happy marriage has a lot of different elements. One big element is the sexual chemistry and mine's completely fucked.