Has this ever happened to you ladies ????

Well i just recently got married... i'm as happy as ever. But i just moved here and i met a girl that lived across the hall from me . I wanted her to go wedding dress shopping w/ me i wanted her to come to my wedding i wanted her to help me out and all she was... was like blargh she was not supportive. Now she is a 28 yr old girl i say girl because she hasn't lived up to her expectations (not to put anyone in a catagory) but my dad made me a wedding video and she couldn't even watch that she flipped out and ran out of my apt crying her eyes out. "I can't watch it... I can't handle this"... Well the other night she came over with her "new" boyfriend they were talking marriage, mind you she's moving away so i gave her a weddign picture.... and she left it.

She's drowned in her own denial so far that shes jealous that i'm married that i am going to school that i have step daughters (NOT MY OWN) i say this because i want my own my step daughters are awesome and very very good kids!! but what do i do brush her off or just stay cool with her its like negative energy rubbing on me and i don't need that ??

 

Try being very punctual.

 

<winks> don't let the door hit you in the ASS on the way out whoops i didn't say that . Thanks for the post. i just cannot show feelings because i feel bad when i say no or if i say yes its like Why did i even make the effort if she didn't appreciate it??? Have you ever been in that boat before .. its kinda rocky.

 

you don't really know her or why she reacted that way. Why do you want her to be supportive? Why do you need her to validate your life? And why, in the name of Mother Earth, would you subject anyone to watching your gawdawful wedding video, and then get upset when she was uncomfortable with it? I honestly doubt she said to you, "hey, I'd just love to see the video of that wedding I didn't want to go to in the first place"

 

I'm going to TRY not to be a complete ass here, but I might not do well, so bear with me.

You just moved there and met your neighbor. You asked her to go wedding dress shopping with you? First of all, that is the MOST boring thing ever for anyone except the mother of the bride. Even the BRIDESMAIDS despise dress shopping.

Why did you want her to come to your wedding? You just met her! The only people at our wedding were people we loved and trusted to be part of a most intimate time. People we knew would commit to supporting our relationship and marriage in the future. Seems a tall order for some chick you just met. I take being a guest at a wedding pretty seriously, but that's just me.

You wanted her to help you? How? Were you paying her? Nobody likes to help plan a wedding except people who get paid to plan them. You wanted her to do scut-work for you?

You call her a "girl" because she hasn't lived up to expectations. Who's? YOURS? Because she didn't go ga-ga over your wedding planning?

She moves away and you give her.....a wedding picture?? That's pretty tacky. You subjected someone you hardly know to your wedding video? Torture.

She's drowing in her own denial of her jealousy of you?!?!? Do you HEAR yourself talking, woman??

I'm not one to be subtle when I say things and this is no exception. You sound like a brat. The classic, run of the mill "bridezilla". It is all about YOU, you and oh yeah, you. Your life is SO perfect and you are SO happy that everyone who doesn't trip over themselves to get a taste of your perfection is to be pitied? Girl, please. And I say "girl" because you have not lived up to expectations. Blah blah blah.

The ONLY negative energy I see right now, is yours. Your self-centered, self-focused energy.

Please take a look at how you project yourself to others. I have to nurse the bruise I have on my chin from when my jaw hit the floor when I read your post.

 

No, this has never happened to me. I'm too busy not living up my expectations.

 

hell! couldn't have said any of that better. what a princess you are poem!

 

i guess i could have posted it better .. the neighbour and i new eachother for a yr or so... And i had no one to go shopping with because i just moved here (and new no one because its a totally new city).. i'm not self sentred. She herself even told my husband she was jealous i'm not saying that and she was jealous that i was going to school because she can't ?? i cannot control anyones feelings .. Plz don't get me wrong here... i just gave here a picture to be nice .. I offered her a pictured because shes moving with her family out west.

ENENENEways plz no judgements on how i posted my 1st post i was tired. i'm not a poor me poor me bow down and kiss my butt type person get to know me before you say stuff about me
PG

 

She's obviously got issues over weddings and you give her a wedding pic as a going away present? That's pretty rude, escpecially considering you knew how she felt about the whole thing.

Why not give her a regular pic of yourself? Or a nice pic of the two of you together? Something with a little thought put into it that shows that you were an actual friend.

 

i have no pictures of myself except my wedding picture. She was invited to my wedding she WANTED to see my video wanted to do all the things for my wedding but then all of a sudden this BIg gray cloud came over her. I think she has is this look at me type person because all she talks about is herself and i cannot put in a word. its my fault when i want to invite her to my wedding and make her sad:-( how sad is that ?

She obviously has some issues to get over your right. Maybe i shouldn't have given her a picture. What is she going to do when all her friends get married and all her friends see that side of her. I was TRYING TO BE NICE . I wasn't trying to be a asshole that you guys see.

 

It sounds like you two are not a good match as friends. Let it go at that.

Unless you want to pick this apart -- you say you wanted her to do this, you wanted her to do that... What have you done for her? (not including inviting her, because when I get a wedding invitation from someone who is not a very close friend, someone I wouldn't invite to MY wedding, all I see is a request for a gift.)

You may have been tired, but the post does sound very one-sided. Why should she go dress shopping with you unless you two have some history of doing favors for one another in a balanced reciprocal relationship?

But, her not helping you out will provide a handy excuse for not helping her move out, if you want such an excuse...

 

I truly believe that you weren't *intending* to be an ass or mean or whatever.

My point is that you really did think that giving her your wedding picture would just make her day.

That's all.

I just keep hearing you bring everything around to you, she's jealous of you, she has "issues", you were trying to help so I get you=superstar, her=pathetic loser..to "help" her you offer to give of your precious self and she is unappreciative and wacky.

Now I'm going to throw something TOTALLY crazy out there for you to consider, did you ever for a second believe that NONE of her wonkiness has ANYTHING at all to do with you?

Maybe her parents are divorced and so weddings and commitment freak her out? Or she used to work at a dress shop and was held up at gunpoint so dress shops put her in a catatonic state?

I mean, there are a whole host of reasons why she might not be into the wedding/shopping thing that have absolutely nothing to do with her being at jealous or envious of you.

It's the fact that you truly believe that you and your life are so perfect that someone WOULD be jealous of you that's the problem here. You aren't looking outside of yourself to see to her real problem. That's what a friend does.

When a friend says, "oh I'm so jealous of you", you know "oh hell no, that doesn't sound right, what the hell is your problem? You are not making sense".

Nobody would ever be "jealous" of me, if they were, they obviously have no clue about my life. I'd laugh in the face of someone who told me that. You actually believed it.

If you care about her, get to the bottom of her weirdness. If you want to bring goodness to people, don't write them off so quickly. Your concern is not about your friend at all right now, but about the "negative energy" she is bringing to your sunshiney life.

That's all I'm saying about it. If none of what we are saying has given you cause to take pause, it's not going to happen and I'm just causing my fingers to cramp for nothing.

Best wishes.

 

That's all I'm saying about it. If none of what we are saying has given you cause to take pause, it's not going to happen and I'm just causing my fingers to cramp for nothing.

No your not: your making good points; i never thought of those things in the yr and a half we'v been friends we've never discussed what makes her upset over certain things. I need to hear it from a outsider. Thats all. I didn't mean to be judgemental but yes it did come out that way.
PG