Hashish and Heroin. Blues.

Stupid of me not posting on the main forums... us stoners.. gah...

it's been a long while since i last visited and posted, i m just wasting time, but i also have something/nothing to talk about....

About last year around june, i got tired of the same old scene, probably wanted to act out, and hashish, pills, boose just wasnt doing it...
then the itch started. lets do heroin. lets climb the ladder, lets do what
layne did, lets go through this to find out what it feels like.
well.
almost a year later...my right foots broken, i have slashes on my wrists, and WE wish we didnt touch the shite.
we thought we could keep it balanced.
and it was more out of balance then ever before.
sure it was a hell of a ride, and i ve changed as a person since then.
seen things, seen the damned junkies, went through a fcked up college semester.... but i m listening to pearl jam sing 'how much difference does it make" and i think it makes alot, since the foot injury, the physical heroin withrwal symptoms went away..like a flash.
now here i sit, smoking this shit. i think i m happy confined as lonng as i have hashish.
such a shithead.
if anyone pays enough attention, ...it's the devils shite.
if your on a self-destructive path, its worse then death, it's slow death.
if only i could be a chipper, but i m a abusive addict.
strange indeed.
please share.

PS: the 2nd best thing about heroin was smoking a joint on it, which intensified it effects...it wudnt be heroiin if ya didnt have hash...but by then we just had to do it to be 'normal' .... and coming off it for 4-5 days then going again was a dumb move.
main point.
heroin kills
it'd be a perfect world if heroin didnt have withdrawal.
keep smokin them jaaaaaaays....

 

Its been a good 10-15 days, but a day hasn't passed by when i craved for it, my broken foot is keeping me off from going, but after it heals, i wont fall in the trap again,
1 year of heroin use was almost life threatening..but it had its good period...
like my friend use ta say... "i love my life" after snorting a huge line... i'd laugh yes 'we' do. oh denial.
anyways i ma post some pics... and i have a realist heroin video..(my final for..my multimedia class) which i d upload on to Youtube.
keep cheakin in, cuz i m bored.

 

Fuck that shit, good luck with quitting.

 

around last year winter, it was cold... we decided on injecting...




The stuff was pretty good, we'd always sniff it, but wanted to see how it felt injecting...




getting prepared...




yeahh... blood... that was cool... i mean ouch, for a person who hasnt ever
injected heroin inta someone else... i was... scared.

 

still alive after that, good fuckin luck eh.



last of the Heroin Days....



now i m like this.... broken foot and a spoke in my arm...



and prescribed to these, there great. but prozac? gawd

 

back to the jays....lesser of the 2 evils i guess.

 

ganja's not evil,
tis medicine,
my friend.

 

Yesterday I was talking about addictions with someone and they said something that I had before I never pondered. "any state of euphoria can send people over the edge"

I know its hard and just as easy to turn around and do what you really shouldn't. Its easier and it may feel good but the importance, and memories of what life may bring is one thought that has keep me from going over that edge again. Plus it doesn't hurt to do something a little bit motivating, take a class or something. But either way I wish you luck.

 

Those pills you are taking are evil, in my opinion.

 

yea, heroin is serious man. a lot of people go into it not knowing enough to handle the shit. thank god i had a sense, and realized what that shit really is.

so careful people, and good luck staying off if thats your plan.

i have only felt slight physical withdrawal, so i can't exactly speak for everyone. but i do know that the psychological is something else.
i also agree that ganja is additional bliss with heroin, not that it's exactly that neccesary lol.

 

Glad to know you're making it through man. BTW, it's good to see you back on the forums and still smokin:sifone:

 

hhaha, i still see a few nicks i remember....WELCOME
does stonerbill still come on? soaring eagle?

honestly, being addicted to anything ..is abusive... the tolerance goes up....just like with other drugs.... heroin has the worst physical withdrawal, its like a nail being hammered down from the top of your head..down to your crotch..into your anus, and out to the ground. leg pains,cough,heaviness of the head, unwillingness to do anything, constipation..............heroin becomes a pyshcological danger...after sometime, after sometime when the tolerance comes up, you have no choice either to inject or take a break whilst through withdrawal... but the craving. and the boredom..
its been almost 2 weeks since i haven't touched that shite....

its doesn't matter if you smoke it in a ciggy, or sniiff it like ching,or chase or inject it.
the route it takes you down is VERY cliched and true.

so i mmight just keep coming back, to post aroound....this place makes
me feel welcome... haha....

 

oh i know exactly what you mean about the muscle and bone pain, i just haven't gotten to the extent of diarrhea and vomiting + inability to function w/o.

and it's true the boredom, with not doing opiates, and knowing they exist is killer.

wait, you're from pakistan?! how are you not going to leave. just me knowing what exists in that area keeps me from going there lol, because i just wouldn't comeback.

 

you just read me like a book, and understood me, you're right about me being in pakistan, and how can i leave it? .... to tell you the truth...getting heroin is easier then sucking opiated lollypops....imo (if you know the right junkie/dealer) ....how'd i stop? ....after a long withdrawal of a day, i couldnt take it, didnt have the cash....did awhole lot of drama....infronta my family, they knew abt my drug problem.

and then i jumped from my house wall, what a fall.... broke my finger/toes
and a grill went up my arm, plus i was hopped up on lexotanils and xanaxs, no wonder.... but after that day (2 weeks ago) the withdrawal went away.
like i never did heroin.
but i m still in a dilemma, tis so easy, to just get on a bus (N4) and goto SJC and score, the comfort of all of it, except waiting around for the junkie dealer to arrive was horrific specially if you were going through the pains...

my suggestion to beatnik, i bet you're in the early stages..or haven't been doing it everyday or alot.....but it will catch up, so stop.

it sucks to still see friends and people still doing it, maybe because i cant, wont. (Hopefully) relapses are BaaaaaaaaaDDDD .....

 

yea, i'm at the point where it's enough for now, so i can hold it off for later in life, but seeing friends go down to it sucks, it just separates people, unless you're junky boys, lol. a lot of my friends that brought me into it aren't doing to well, granted they did start earlier and more serious so they have a huge step on me.

what scared me the most about it was that i'm still in my fucking teens lol, and i can say i've partied hard, pretty fucking hard. before marijuana brought me into the world i didnt even know 3/4 of the drugs i've tried existed. but i have still set a line for myself at which across it are meth, crack and dust, [plus IVing drugs] but i plan to try pcp before i die, but i'm good on meth and crack. what really makes me happy is that out of the big chance of fucking up, i still haven't so thats cool, and i haven't done heroin in 2 weeks and 2 days, going strong, it is just about in the back of my head at this point, and abstinence makes this happen. just be busy with work, school, non-drug related friends and other more beneficial things in life.

 

lemme quote myself, from when i used to come on the forums in '05 ....
i repeatedly use to refer to the phrase , that i wont go beyond hash...
but then i got a gf, and university which was about to begin ... and all this other jumbled up stuff ..i wasn't prepared to deal with,
(reminds me of a group on FaceBook, kissing can cause pregnancy and heroin use...or something like that)

we made the wrongest decision to try H.

its alrite right now, this is MUCH better then thinking abt your next score all day long, what i mean is, you never know how you can contradict yourself.... in a way i feel like a hypocritical contradiction-ist....
you never know what tomorrow may bring.

i m glad i m off it, but my minds in peril that such a opiate exists...and is there for the taking... after my foot heals.... in about 1 month from now...
i hope i dont go down the same road....

ALOTTA shit happened , not just with me... but all my junk driven friends...got their asses fucked ...... this one dude was dealing, the ISI got a hold of him....put him in jail... for 2 days, then this other friend went to rehab and came out, last i heard he's not even smoking cigs.

i was very close to going to rehab, because i had already accepted my problem....addiction.... my parents were ready to send me off,

mind: but i m not even on heroin annymore... and i wanna keep smoking up...for atleast....awhile ...

what i m trying to say is... that things are never certain...just watch out boy.

i made a shortfilm on heroin use in youth ... for my multimedia class, i m in the process of uploading it, then you guys will see... the smut of khi ... high class and low class.
plus i want opinions.

NOW, lets talk about hashish, im probably gonna score some today, will put up pictures, got a nice 8.1 mp camera... should be cool....
the shit is pretty good these days in khi, being summer and all... gets all gooey ...YUM.
stay tuned ? i m bored.

 

im glad to hear you're off that shit man
and good to see it didn't kill you and we'd never see ol' pakistan again.
that sounded like a nasty fall, but it's a good lesson for anyone
you build yourself up your whole life, only to try heroin and come crashing down on someones grill

 

StonerBill and soaringeagle still post here occasionally. saoringeagle moreso than Bill.

I have heard the same about heroin withdrawals, though I have never done heroin, myself. I plan on trying it though, as stupid as that sounds. Actually though, the worst physical withdrawals come from alcohol and benzodiazepines, as those are the only withdrawals that can actually be fatal. That's not to minimize the heroin withdrawals though because, even though they aren't fatal, I've heard that opiate withdrawals cause worse physical pain than benzos or alcohol, but I guess that's probably subjective. You're gonna be alright though man, and you're gonna come through it all as a stronger person than you ever were before. Keep your head up.

Definitely keep coming back here man. You're always welcome.

 

no, you're right tns, benzo and alchohol withdrawal can kill any addict.

the most serious opiate would only really kill you if you were in really, really terrible health already, but it would almost always just cause agonizing pain and discomfort, + thoughts on relapsing. and if you plan on doing it, wait years, because i'm sure you still have shit to do other than that, and i've seen people fall in less than 6 months, some scary shit.

 

Yeah I'm definitely gonna try it sometime. I just have to make sure the timing is right and my mindset is right; you know......not depressed and also make sure I have access to marijuana, so I can get high without having to resort to heroin after I get a taste of it. I think I'd be able to handle it. I have tried LOTS of drugs and I'm curious to try heroin also. If it feels as good as everyone says it feels, then I'll probably only try it one time, because I DO have an addictive personality and a family history of addiction, and I need to be careful. I already know I'm gonna try it, eventually. I'm not gonna search it out, but when it crosses my path again, I'm doing it up. lol