Have any of you ever lost a parent?

My dad's been sick for a while and was given less than a year to live over a year ago. We had a falling out a while back and I haven't spoken to him in over three years. Even though I haven't brought myself to forgive him yet, something tells me I should speak to him in case I regret it in the future. I mean, it just hit me that he'll never attend my wedding, he'll never meet my children, he won't be there for my college graduation...this is my last chance to leave things on a good note. Any ideas on how to approach him?

And for those who have lost a parent, how long did it take to feel ok again?

 

My father died almost 4 years ago. I was 17. It takes awhile to feel 'ok' with it, although you're never really that ok with it. Now It almost feels like a dream or like he was never really here. It's strange. You should talk to your father though. My Dad and his brother had a falling out over money and they didn't talk for three years or more. Than my father died and my uncle felt really shitty at his funeral and felt really bad because they never talked again or made things right. It's never good to let things end that way.

 

My mom died a few years ago and my dad died last week..

Everybody is going to die

 

My dad died in December of 1985. When you get back to feeling okay, it is a different kind of okay than before. Never the same again.

 

Sorry to hear that.

 

I know. I feel kind of liberated as an atheist, knowing I won't have to carry all this baggage into some bizarre afterlife.

 

My father died when I was a kid. I was 9 I think. That was pretty rough because he was my hero and my best friend.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but you'll make it through

 

Thanks Matt.

I feel like I've been preparing for my dad's death my whole life. Because his father died at a young age, he's been anticipating his own death for a long time, and would claim he'd be surprised if he made it to 55. He's 60 now. I wonder if his life would have been extended had he not given up hope so early on.

 

Yes, but only about five times.

 

I'm really sorry to hear that, Sadie...but all you probably have to do is just go to him. You're his baby, even if you had a falling out, I'm almost sure that being on your deathbed makes things like that look a lot pettier. Tell him you love him...just tell him you love him.

 

My dad passed away on 5 June 1994. The pain eventually goes away, but the hole left never does. I've always had a close, loving relationship with both parents. I say bury the hatchet with dad and not in his head.

 

im adopted if that counts

 

i lost my mom at six flags once. it was absolutely terrifying

 

:smilielol5:

 

dont be a kiss ass

 

fifteen years ago, i think it was, or however many, i think it was 1991, my dad, i forget how old he was. then about a month and a half ago my wife, who was my sole support as much as my soul support, and she was only 59. my mom, who IS 90, is still going, though no longer completely independently.

 

Havent seen my Dad in errr......18 years.

Wont go in to detail, dont want to scare any future breeders off parenting, sufficed to say sometimes the apple does fall far from the tree. DNA doesnt code for personality types

 

Sarcasm is lost on you, isn't it?

 

birdman, you have no idea

 

Here's the reason I stopped speaking to my dad:

By the time I was a junior in high school, I couldn't wait to go off to college. I already had my dream school picked out and had big plans for the future. My dad always promised he'd pay for any school I got into. Well senior year rolls around and I'd been accepted to my top choice school. I was so excited and about to enroll, but then my mom reveals the worst. It turns out my dad had been spending all my college fund on drugs and gambling. All of it - gone. I offered to live at home my first year of college to save money, but my parents kicked me out so they could rent out my room. So off I went, to a school 1000 miles away from them. I took a minimum wage job, but even working 45 hours per week, I was barely making rent. My Christmases and Thanksgivings were always spent working, only coming home to Krispy Kreme dinners. I guess I just feel like he dangled my dreams in front of me and ripped them away. I wanted a normal college experience so badly, one where I could go to parties on weekends instead of working 12 hour days. Thus the story of why I got into "cam-whoring".

Anyway, I haven't been back home in two years now, and I have enough money saved up that I could fly back for labor day weekend. I don't know what to say to him though. It's hard to look at him and not be reminded that there was a point in time when my college dreams were tangible.

I'm probably going to get a shitload of neg rep now, saying how selfish I am. And truth is, I know my life's not that bad. In fact, I'm actually quite happy most of the time. For some reason I can't get over this grudge though.