Having kids young...

I know a lot of you have had your kiddies at a fairly young age, and I was just wondering how it affected your life.

Someone I know who is 19 found out she's pregnant, and keeping her baby. I told my mom there's no way I'd have a baby at 19, but then I found myself thinking "why did I say that??" right after.

Are all of you happy with your happenings, or have any feelings of.. well not regret, but.. Wished things happened differently or at a different time? I don't really have any point in asking, but I would just like your thoughts on the subject.

Love and light,
Megg

 

I had my first at 19 and adopted my last at 52. So I guess I've been on both ends of the spectrum. I feel like I know a lot more now that I did when I was 19. But I had so much more energy then than I do now. I have more income now and a bit more stability. But my son will be raised as an only child. My older children had each other to help them through hard times. I don't know if I'll see my son become an adult and have children of his own. But there is no guarantee of that at any age. I guess you can find positives and negatives at either end of the spectrum. You should have kids when you're ready for them, not when someone else says you should have them.

Kathi

 

Very much so~ I had my 1st at 19 and very much wish I would have finished college and waited to have children. She is the best thing and I love her very much. My other children are 3 and 18 months and Im so much more confident in my ability to parent then when I was 19 which makes a huge difference!

 

i had my first at 21 (still young enough right? lol). i don't regret it at all. maybe i missed out on some of the things people that age do (drinking, drugs, freeeeeedom!!), but found some of that again when she got a bit older.

i'm 30 now and damn, there are days i can't keep up with the energy level of the kidlets (9 and 6). besides that, i still feel young enough to 'get' most of what my kids are going through. i remember going through so much of it myself, kwim? and i wasn't terribly set in 'my' ways before having them so adjusting to having children maybe wasn't as hard as if, for example, i had been working on a serious career and had to put that on hold, etc. kwim? the kids and i have sort of grown together in a sense.

i think there are pros and cons to having kids early and having them later when you're more settled. i'm just personally glad i had my kids in my early twenties.

'sides that, when they're all grown up, i'll still be young enough to enjoy things i may have missed out on while raising them... kwim?

-z

 

Alot of people who have kids young usually don't plan on it happening.. it just.. happens. So unless they get an abortion they are going to have the baby and more than likely wished it would of happened at another time but when things come at you suprisingly you just .. deal with it. My mom got pregnant at 18 and my dad was 17. I'm sure that they wished she hadn't gotten pregnant when she did. But they went ahead and got married and had my sister. Of course they don't regret having her but I'm sure they wish they would of been more careful because they did miss out on alot of things and probably would of had totally different lives.. maybe even without each other. But you take what life hands you. They were givin the life of having a baby at a young age so they just took it from there!

 

Hmm...I can't tell you much beyond beginning feelings when you first find out you're pregnant at 19. I'm scared, moreso because I'm MILES away from my momma. However, I'm also excited. I'm not focused on the things I'm losing. I could care less. And if I want them badly enough, I'll still have them. I'm more focused on what I'm gaining. A family, a child, someone to explore and teach and love. It's a great feeling...drowns out all others

 

We had our first when I was 17, 2nd at 19 and 3rd at 21...currently trying for number 4. I am 28 now. I would have waited until I was out of high school at least...LOL Other than that, the biggest part for us on having kids young was everyone's input. When you are a young parent, everyone and their lawn boy tells you how to raise your child. Having a kid makes you doubt yourself in it's own, yet alone with people sticking their heads in. We were strapped for cash in a huge huge way with our first 2, lived in a cruddy part of town in a crappy apartment. Now we want to experience having a child at an older age, when we have our heads on straight and are capable of spoiling it from day one

btw, just found this place today....i'm in love!

 

i've got 2.. had my 1st at 18 and dont regret a thing... i still studied... and managed to be a wife and mum and still carve a good career for myself....
now they are out of college and i'm still young enough to have some great fun..all the hard work has been done

 

I had my first in my early 20s (right after I finished college and was started on my Med School apllications and took my MCATS and GREs) (Then the next two, two and then three years later) and my last one at 38. So, although not as far apart as Kathi's babies, I still had a long gap between and like Kathi, my youngest is a bit like an only child. My oldest is in college and Sage is in Kindergarten.

I'm glad I got to finish college before I had my first one. In some ways, I regret not getting to go to Medical School (which is where I was headed when I found out I was pregnant with my first) but I realized that I couldn't have been a good doctor AND a good mama. Something had to give, and it was Med School. By the time my third was old enough, I was thinking about Med school again, but didn't know if I had the stamina, and while I was thinking it over (and had been told from a Board Member that a Medical School in my area would take me, again) I got pregnant again.

But, my kids come first. I was still able to get an education and a career in health care, just not what I had originally planned. And being there for my kids was priceless. I was very lucky, I think.

 

My husband (bf at the time) and i had our first baby at 18 (barely, we were still in highschool).

It would have been nice to have some more money saved, but we've never regretted having kids first. For one thing, i never had the delimma: "well gee, should i finish school first, or quit my job? Should i work part-time or find a babysitter?" It was never even a thought, we knew from the start i'd stay home with our kids, and that would be that. Having our son even gave us the motivation to graduate early, so my husband could work full-time, and i could be a mom full-time. It actually worked out really great. We've never had money anyway, so we don't feel like we're missing out on anything

 

I had Thomas when I was 19. My hubs, bf at the time, was all a wreck. He was worried to death about everything... not enough money, no home of our own, and just plain not ready to be a dad. At first, I had hoped for a miscarraige, but I was uber crazy off hormones then. Not too long after that, I was ok. I was very happy, actually. Adam and I had been sexually active with little contraception for 3.5 years, and I had began to believe I couldn't have children. anyway, I'll cut it short: Yes it's scary, no it's not impossible. I had to give up a 4 year college education, but I would have been forced to withdraw anyway because of my Dad dying. Everything that has happened, iwouldn't trade for the world though. And just think, By the time he is 18, we'll only be 37! We still have plenty of time to enjoy each other! (I am not having anymore as far as I'm concerned...I almost died having Thomas.)

 

I had my first son at 21 years old and my husband was 25, and I had my twins at 24 years old (3 months away from turning 25) and my husband was almost 29. To me, it wasn't all that young, but then again, most of the women on both my side as well as my husband's side began their families at younger ages. My husband and I both agreed that we wanted to have a family at an "earlier" stage in our lives.

Regrets? None. I'm glad that I had my children when I did. I'd feel like I was missing out on so very, very much if I hadn't. I couldn't imagine my life without my children.

 

My parents married fairly young. My mom was 19 and my dad was 18. When my oldest brother was born, my mom was 20 and my dad was 19. So that was pretty young, I guess. They were always the youngest people at parent's night- and evidently, they were snubbed by other parents about it. But all I know is that my parents just had their 25th anniversary and Adam is about to get his master's degree. Not to mention my other brother, Erich, has his own apartment with his girlfriend and a really good job. And they have a wonderful 18 year old daughter who is perfection in every way.

 

As some of you know, I have 7 kids but rarely name them all in 1 post, so you may have gotten confused when I write about 1 of them...their pics are in my gallery.

Elizabeth Dawn-23 in Nov
Forrest-21 in Iraq now
Philip-20 in 3 wks
Amanda-16 1/2
Kevin-13 1/2 born on my birthday
Ryan-10 born at home
Sabrina-8

I was only 18 1/2 when Elizabeth was born. It would have been nice to have lots of money when she was born. But she had diapers, food, clothes, toys, & books to overfill her room.
She also had a P.H.D.(parent home daily)if I had been older & working at a 9-5 job before she was born....I may not have wanted to quit and then not been able to read to her, sing silly songs with her or laugh at her little dances that she performed for us, watch her show off her masterpieces (she wanted to be an art teacher from the start) or anything else.

As the kids got older...they learned that they were not gonna have the latest fashions to wear or gourmet dinners. Once in awhile they daydreamed about what it would be like to be an only child....but leave them home alone for couple hours and she goes bonkers with boredom.
At times over the years, a couple of my kids have found kids who were worse off then them and brought them home for the night, a weekend, and even for a whole christmas vacation...they had no problem giving up their rooms, their desserts or even money so that someone else could have a christmas.

 

I am currently bowing down to yer greatness..

 

or maybe her insanity

Actually, I wish I could pull that off....But I'm totally grateful for the thought that in 18 years, I'll be 38...and my kid will have already graduated high school....yay for a young partying momma!

 

LOL, my mother would say I'm insane also for having so many kids....but hey can I help it if birth control doesn't always work.

I had always said that I didn't want anymore kids after I reached 30 yrs of age...well the youngest 2 were born after I reached 30. I'll be 51 1/2 when my youngest graduates high school.

 

ah my mum had me when she was 32...she was prematurely gray so she always looked older but it never really bugged me unless someone asked if she was my granny...
i had my first when i was 21..i was preggo when i turned 21..that kinda sucked but oh well..im sure i didnt miss much...
i had my middle one when i was 25 and my youngest when i was 27...im ALL done..as long as there are no suprises...the only disadvantage i can find is being dirt ass poor...we are all happy and healthy tho and thats the most important thing right? Ill have time later in life to be wealthy im sure...lol ..not

my hats off to you squawkers7 insane or not..lol

 

My daughter just had a baby boy last night...Amanda is 16 1/2 so she will be about 34 yrs old when my grandson graduates high school.
The last 6 hrs of labor were pretty rough & she says she ain't having anymore.

 

i said that too then went on to have two more...lol

congrats you young hot granny!!